SO, SERIAL transfer-listee and much misspelled Mark Schwarzer finally got his wish to join one of Europe's giants, as predicted by his agent. Not Juventus. Not Bayern. Not even Bolton. But Fulham, former Anglo-Scottish Cup finalists and occasional InterToto Cup qualifiers Fulham. That's a bit of a come down for a shot-stopper who always gave the impression that he thought he was bigger than Boro.
It is not the end of the world for most Boro fans... although starting the new season with Ross from Friends between the sticks might be.
Twice previously having asked for a move and twice being touted around the G14 clubs without a sniff - Portsmouth inquired once but baulked at his wages - the "greatest Austarlia hero since Ned Kelly" has finally got his switch in one of the most downbeat transfer ever. Like pre-season injuries, the shirts being late and transfer targets being hi-jacked, Arnie being in some kind of contract dispute with most of the snippets about it coming out in the Aussie press has become one of the most distinctive signs of a Boro summer.
After years of crying wolf Boro fans will barely raise an eyebrow at the long expected exit - the ripples will quickly fade and the focus will immediately move on to discussion about his successor - while Fulham fans are sure to be underwealmed too.
That is strange. Schwarzer is probably Boro's best keeper ever. I've made that claim before and been barracked in the street by anti-Skippy militants but I think it is hard to argue otherwise. His rivals for that crown played most of their football either in the lower leagues or the mists of time and are certainly shrouded in a haze of talent enhancing nostalgia. Schwarzer played all bar one of his 11 seasons at Boro in the top division and bar one brief spell where he came back from injury and stand-in Mark Crossley was in electric form and became a cause celebre after being dropped, his position as Number One has never been in question.
He played at Wembley, he was a winner and a key factor at the Carling Cup victory at the Millenium Stadium and played a blinder several times on the road to Eindhoven - in Rome and Bucharest in particular. The big Aussie was Boro's keeper through a Golden Age of unprecedented success and for that deserves respect and credit, no matter how grudging.
Yet he was never loved here. Respected generally maybe but vocally disliked by some pockets in the crowd from day one, he provoked outbreaks of frustration, some long-standing gripes about putative weaknesses - can't kick, won't come out, doesn't save anything from 25 yards - and an undercurrent of distrust but was never given the unconditional emotional support that a decade of sterling service usually brings. He never engaged with the crowd and, even though he has been here what in modern terms is an entire historical epoch, he always left the impression that he wanted away, he was playing beneath himself and had the getaway car engine running outside with the Sat Nav programmed for Old Trafford or the San Siro.
He has spent most of the last year in a 'will he, won't he' contractual stand-off and his exit will be met by a resigned shrug of the shoulders. Most cynical observers knew he was off when he dragged his kids around the Riverside pitch for the final day lap of honour.
At least he had the good grace not to push for the testimonial he was "due" last term. Although he was on the list again so the crowd would probably have been lower than for Bernie's.
"I am delighted to have joined Fulham and look forward immensely to the new challenge in my career," Schwarzer said. Which is fair enough. "I spent many happy years at Middlesbrough and would like to thank everyone there for their valued support.
"However, I felt the time was right for me to move on, and when the opportunity to talk to Roy Hodgson about his plans came about, although I had other offers from some great clubs throughout Europe, it didn’t take long to make a decision about joining the Fulham. I’m now looking forward to joining up with the Australian National team for our World Cup Qualifiers and then of course to meeting up with the rest of the lads for pre-season at Fulham in July."
Cynics may scoff at the idea that he had rejected offers from the likes of Juventus but it is not so far fetched. He would make a good and experienced - and relatively cheap - second string keeper for them for two years, especially if he arrived on a free. But it would not be a good move for him. If he is to play in the World Cup for Australia - and he has made it clear that is still central to his career - then he must have first team football. Two appearances a season as an understudy to Buffon is no use to him at this stage.
So Fulham it is. Cottagers' Houdini-act boss Roy Hodgson said, in that strange clipped 1960s newsreel school master tone of his: "After stiff competition from a number of high profile European clubs, I am exceptionally pleased that Mark has chosen to come to Fulham.
"His credentials on both the domestic and international arenas are impeccable which is reinforced by the calibre of clubs that wanted to sign him. We have some work to do off the field this summer to enable us to compete next season in the Premier League and to avoid the position we found ourselves in a short time ago. Therefore I am very pleased that Mark will be joining us and helping with the task ahead.’
Now, the pressure really will mount. If Southgate really intends to stick with Brad Jones - he can't really mean it can he? - then we are in big trouble.
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