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Boro Best In Derby Draw

Posted by on February 3, 2008 9:47 PM | 

IT WAS a far better point for Boro than for Newcastle. Alright, you can argue that it was chance missed to overhaul the team immediately above in the table and that it O'Neil hadn't been the subject of gypsy curse that has destined him to never score it would and should have been all three points; or even that Boro were lucky to get out of jail with an offside leveller after a Land of the Giants defence leaked a goal when they were out-jumped by a midget at a set-piece.

But in terms of the statistics, the current dynamics in the league table and the hothouse parochial politics and banter across the workplace barricades - the 'Three Legends factor' - it was a good day's work by a spirited side that are increasingly resilient and resourceful.

First the stats: For upwardly mobile Boro, coming from behind in itself showed a new steel. It also took their recent resurgent run to six games unbeaten and only one defeat in nine on the road, a solid if rarely spectacular sequence that has rebuilt confidence, carved out a cushion behind and given hope for the future, especially now that the much needed specialist marksman has been recruited.

For stuttering Newcastle though - whose plight is starting to be noticed by those in the national press that can see through the fog of delusion and spin - a point was little short of a disaster. They have won just one in 11 - the FA Cup replay against Stoke - and taken just three points from 24. The goal was not just the first under Keegan (as he never arrived until half-time he can't been given credit for Big Nige's win over Stoke) but also the first in the league this year. This is a team that is vulnerable.

In political terms it was a more than acceptable result for Boro as it kept the momentum going and added to the growing sense of renewed optimism. Boro continue to combine confidence when playing the ball around and some crisp movement going forward with solidity and physicality at the back and an high-tempo industry in the middle. The basic building blocks of a good side are there.

But Newcastle? The second coming of Keegan appears to have lost all momentum already. The cavalier football has produced one goal in four games and perhaps that is no surprise when they have failed to break from Fat Sam's tactics and are hoofing the ball forward to little effect. To Michael Owen. They are shaky at the back, tactically confused and lacking any belief. So much for the inspirational qualities of the Messiah. Maybe that is why the whistle heralded a small but explosive ripple of habitual booing. It is a dysfunctional club: an unbalanced squad, a manager who looks a busted flush appointed on the basis of sentimental populism and a corporate structure with built in conflict and confusion. Some observations:

These Things Even Themselves Out: Newcastle won't think so. Owen's goal after four minutes should have stood. Schwarzer just came to collect but fumbled and spilled the ball at his feet. He does that. Often. He did it against Wigan. Luckily the unwritten rule that keepers in the air are a protected species kicked in and the goal was ruled out, one of a series of breaks for Boro. Huth's equaliser looked offside and even if it wasn't then Gook jumping aimlessly and failing to make contact obstructed Carr as the ball sailed over. On the other hand the Newcastle goal came from a free kick that wasn't after Luke Young put in a good tackle.

That aside, I Iike Mike Dean, if only because he looks like Jasper Carrott. And because he lets loads go, which in a derby game is a recipe for a good old fashioned tear up. Either because he has a liberal attitude to physical contact or because he misses so much, Dean allowed Boro to terrorise the timid Geordies, especially in a robust first half. Wheater systematically monstered the Last of the Mohicans, Alan Smith. He kicked him all over the park, steam-rollered him from behind, wiped him out in tackles and battered him in aerial challenges. It was brilliant. There was one incident when he flattened him going for a header and by the time Smith had picked himself up the ball was just coming back down and as it bounced between them Wheater wiped him out again.

It wasn't just at the back. The thud and blunder encounter was made for Lee Clattermole who, especially in the frantic first half, fizzed and crashed and snarled his way through the middle third, scything his way through the opposition. Rochemback was getting his foot in too. At one point he appeared to rake his studs down the back of Smith's legs - accidently naturally - after the blue lipped one had wriggled away. And Boro pretty much got away with it all without Jasper handing out any killer balls .

Rock Solid: Luke Young lacks only one thing: a stone related and geographically specific nickname. Boro's imposing new centre-back pairing are currrently trading under the headline easy labels of the Redcar Rock and the Berlin Wall while the raw meat eating testosterone powered back line is boosted by the Alpine Hardman. Luke needs to get igneous and find a granite tag if he wants to fit into this unit. And grow a foot. And shave his head. And eat babies.

Boro's current defence is as hard as I can remember. The physical presence, height and aggression is a delicious pleasure. We've had our share of imposing stoppers in the past - Boam, Mogga, Pearson and Festa were all nails - but rarely have we paired up two together in the middle and added someone like the Mad Dog alongside them. No more are Boro a soft touch. No wonder we are top of the yellow card table.

Of course, that doesn't explain how a relative munchkin can outleap these cloudscrapers to head in from a dead ball and twice get free from corners to get the ball in the net only to have it disallowed. It is a work in progress.

Can You Manage Mate? I don't usually see the manager's post-match press conferences as normally I am in the scrum down the tunnel looking for player quotes. But we went mob handed to Sid James' so I had the opportunity to observe the bosses in action and it must be said that the body language and semiotics were intriguing.

Keegan does not look like a boss appointed on a wave of 'biblical' euphoria just a fortnight ago. He was supposed to bring zeal, passion and energy, an emotional fuel that would galvanise a club that had become stifled by a McClarenlike caution. In fact he already looks tired and world weary and sounds laboured and defensive. He appears drawn, tense and guarded and all too ready to retreat into excuses and rationalisations when by rights he should still be buzzing. Rather than a popular appointment in the box fresh first flush of the honeymoon period he looks like a manager two or three years into the job and weighed down with undelivered expectation and the inevitability of the sack. The fire has gone out there I think.

In contrast Gareth Southgate breezes in, is open and confident. He explains his tactics, gives an incisive and well balanced assessment of the game - including where Boro were weak - and laughs at suggestions that he had been 'savaged' by Jonathan Woodgate. The boss declined the opportunity to get into a war of words and defused the story neatly, explains they had a good long chat before he left the club on good terms, that neither have any problem with the other and adding with disarming honesty that he thinks Spurs is a good move for Woody and hopes it goes well. He keeps it brief and light, he knows that for the national hacks Keegan's continued quest for a victory is the big story of the day and doesn't seem to resent that Boro are just a couple of lines of padding at the end. I like him.

Badge To The Future: I wish players wouldn't kiss the badge. I all but a few rare cases it is a sickening act of cringe inducing hypocrisy. I especially wish Alan Smith wouldn't do it. The serial symbol snogger has made a sickening show of shirt smacking loyalty to Leeds, Manchester and now Newcastle. Maybe it is the United bit rather than the name of the town that commands his affection. Look out Hartlepool, the shouty non-scoring striker could be kissing the badge at the Vic within a couple of seasons.

Comments (83)

Chris Pounder wrote...

Vic, I think your best yet. Priceless!

Posted by: Chris Pounder  | February 4, 2008 4:06 AM

Neil (Baku) wrote...

Oh for a real striker yesterday, even an overweight Mido, and we would have stolen the three points.

And oh for a keeper like Given, surely Gareth has to go into the market and replace Scissor Hands this summer. It would make our bedrock defence complete. We were lucky with his 4th minute blunder and he is, as you say, doing it too often. Even when the midget scored, I felt the cross was within punching territory.

I'm disappointed with just a point, but probably the Geordie fans are saying similar. If anything we were a little too cautious in the first half, quite happy to let them come at us. But Gareth must have seen enough to get the lads to take them on, and it was working until they got a goal against the run of play.

Posted by: Neil (Baku)  | February 4, 2008 5:00 AM

Neil (USA) wrote...

Cheer up Kevin Keegan
Oh what can it mean
To a sad Geordie *&^%$#@
and a *&^%$ football team!

I watched the Superbowl last night and Garmin had an advert during the game.

Posted by: Neil (USA)  | February 4, 2008 5:49 AM

Snort wrote...

Yosemite Young?
Wiki: Yosemite is internationally recognized for its spectacular granite cliffs

Posted by: Snort  | February 4, 2008 6:09 AM

Benny Brown wrote...

Great performance especially the second half when Boro went out to win the match. Boro;s football is in the mould of the stuff being turned out by Arsenal, no wonder Arsene Wenger is full of praise for Gareth Southgate as being a very good English Manager.

No more booting the ball up field and hoping the lone striker can win possession, No Boro are now playing attractive football and with the addition of our new striker I can not wait to see the results.

Only blight on the horizon is the continued selection of Gook Lee who looks out of his depth in the Premier League.

I watched Gook Lee playing in the Asian Championships last year and an I am at a loss to understand Gareth continuing to pick him in the squad, Surely we must gave a young player who could fill this position.

Gook Lee appears to be a spectator on the field, Watching what is going on without getting involved. He had a great chance in box to snap up a goal, but stood by and watched Cacapha clear the ball on one occasion.

Posted by: Benny Brown  | February 4, 2008 6:32 AM

NIgel wrote...

Another decent result today and another good performance but what a difference having a goal scorer on the pitch might have made.

Good result for Fulham, it will make next weeks game a little harder.

Posted by: NIgel  | February 4, 2008 7:20 AM

ian Gill wrote...

Would have taken 1-1 at 1.30, will take it now.

Whilst I thought it was a goal I can see why Dean disallowed it because he is not on the camera gantry but at ground level, from the angle he was at he will have seen Owens arm up and apparently tugging Swarzers arm. What surprised me is how the Toon players just accepted the decision. Saw it again later and no one even appealed.

Two possibilities, we have seen how often TV rulings on catches in cricket give a different result to the human eye so Owen didnt appeal because he did touch Swarz. Or players just accept if a keeper drops the ball its a free kick. In the end, checked my morning paper and 1-1 it is.

Posted by: ian Gill  | February 4, 2008 7:57 AM

Big mets..Boro 4 ever!! wrote...

Once again a superb performance from the two rocks at the back.

Huth 22 and Wheater 20 possibly a future center back pairing for the Boro for the next 10yrs. (+ Taylor 21 when fit at left back)....throw in Mad Dog and there's a trio you wouldn't wonna meet on a dark night.

GET WHEATER A NEW CONTRACT NOW!! any news??

Well done also to Ally i thought he did a fantastic job as the lone front man yesterday.

Didn't know that O'neil had a curse you could have told me earlier ha...Ive had a fiver on him at roughly 12/16-1 for the past 10 or so weeks, a bloke playing that well and having that many shots must score soon??...r well there's always Saturday!!

Posted by: Big mets..Boro 4 ever!!  | February 4, 2008 8:08 AM

DAVE CONNOR wrote...

DAVE CONNOR KAZAKHSTAN

GOOOD WRITE UP MR VICKERS.

YES WE WERE THE BETTER TEAM FOR LONG PERIODS OF THE GAME, BUT SCHWATZER IS REALLY TERRIBLE, YES HE MAKES THE GOOD SAVE NOW AND AGAIN, THAT IS WHAT HE THERE FOR, BUT HIS OVERALL GOALKEEPING SENSE IS ANOTHER THING. IT HAS BEEN FOR A VERY LONG TIME. THE REF GOT IT WRONG AWFUL GOALKEEPING IS ALL YOU CAN SAY.

CATTERMOLE IS STILL RUNNING ABOUT LIKE AN HEADLESS CHICKEN, AND MY OH MY DONG GOOK. WHAT AN EMBARESSMANT HE IS NOT EVEN UP TO NORTHERN LEAGUE STANDARD.

STILL A VERY GOOD POINT WON

**AV writes: I know you are a long way away but there's no need to shout.

Posted by: DAVE CONNOR  | February 4, 2008 8:10 AM

Danny wrote...

Isn't Schwarzer scary? Owen's goal was deffo ok. He is a real flapper at crosses and his positioning is poor. Yes he can produce world class saves but too often he is caught out and that costs us games.

As for Dong-Gook, he isn't good enough for the reserves. Why oh why is he in the team? There are better youngsters in the reserves than him. He can't pass and no confidence - surely time to let him go elsewhere.

I hope Southgate goes back for Fred or Love in the summer.

Posted by: Danny  | February 4, 2008 8:51 AM

Ian Gill wrote...

As for the hogwash that Simba was interfering with play, if he hasnt done so for the past twelve months he wont be doing it now. He was truly awful again.

See Mido is suffering from Pubic bone syndrome. When at Petra in early Jan I saw a tour guide who looked the spit of him but having also visited Cairo I must admit he does look a bit like the sphinx - large, enigmatic smile, unmoving and no one quite knows what it is for.

Hopefully will have Alves for the visit of Fulham, two hurdles to clear, a visa then 3 days at Rockcliffe without injury. The first is a formality the second is a lot trickier. How come Simba never gets an injury?

Posted by: Ian Gill  | February 4, 2008 9:27 AM

BILL MC NEIL wrote...

IHAVE BEEN A BORO SUPPORTER SINCE 1948 MOST OF THE TIME ITS BEEN LONG DISTANCE DUE TO WORKING ABROAD I DONT THINK I HAVE SEEN A BETTER DEFENSIVE PARTNERSHIP THAN HUTH AND WHEATER BUT I THINK THAT THE SCAVENGERS WILL BE OUT ie GEORDIES MAN UTD.CHELSEA.MAYBE EVEN ARSENAL

I HAVE ONE FAULT WITH SOUTHGATE HE SHOULD HAVE GOT A STAND IN CENTRE FORWARD ON LOAN .

Posted by: BILL MC NEIL  | February 4, 2008 9:32 AM

Patrick Steele wrote...

Great article, AV, esp. the description of our impressive defence! Even the bloody BBC were moved to break from their perpetual geordie love-fest to single out our menacing twin towers. High praise indeed.

Was good to see us play with verve and energy and get about them yesterday - Viduka looked bewildered in his ineffective twenty minute spell.

Thought we were done for given the limited attacking options but this team has spirit and doesn't give up: nice one GS.

Posted by: Patrick Steele  | February 4, 2008 9:33 AM

guy r wrote...

Good article. Benny, at last someone else who sees that Boro are and have played football all year but have been handicapped by a lack of a scorer.

We have consitently outplayed teams at the riverside only to gift goals away and the points. I make it 20 points we should have extra this year as we should have won yesterday again. All Gook had to do was slide the ball on for Alliadiar, except he passed it to the defender, grrrr.

And Woodgates comments, there are various runours doing the rounds about woodgate, for him to then slate his hometown club on leaving, he will have a tasty reception in April if he is fit.

Posted by: guy r  | February 4, 2008 9:40 AM

Phil ex Warrenby wrote...

Gotta agree Benny Brown, Gook should have had that ball in the back of the net any smart centre forward would have been on that like a flash.

As for the keeper he simply dropped the ball at Owen's feet. fair goal, crap keeping. All in all though our goal was dodgy too, so a draw was fair enough in my book. But yes a new goalie and no Gook next year

Posted by: Phil ex Warrenby  | February 4, 2008 9:41 AM

Lee Drury wrote...

I thought we played outstanding. We frustrated them and the crowd in the first half with some quality closing down and bone crunching tackles, then in the second played some brilliant passing football and had plenty of shots.

It doesn't seem that long ago when we used to go full games without a shot at goal, now the team creates chance after chance in games.

I think the defence looks rock solid, and we have players who are confident and skilful on the ball, and most of all for the first time I can remember we have pace throughout the team. Lets hope The Fonz is the final piece of the jigsaw.

Posted by: Lee Drury  | February 4, 2008 9:42 AM

Never Happy wrote...

Time to give Huth some credit, we all give him stick when he was forever injured. He is now showing why GS paid plenty for him.

Wheater must be signed up ASAP.

The work rate and football Boro are now producing is incomparable to the McClaren era. If it continues it will produce the right results and Boro can establish themselves as a top ten side.

There is no reason why we can not go all the way in the FA Cup this season.

C'Mon Boro!

Posted by: Never Happy  | February 4, 2008 10:18 AM

Lee Drury wrote...

AV

I have just read Woodgates comments about how he is "playing for a proper manager", a manager "who knows what he is doing" now he is at spurs.

Where is all this bitterness coming from, was there more to the sale of Woodgate than was reported, because there are plenty of rumours going around?

Posted by: Lee Drury  | February 4, 2008 10:43 AM

James Emmerson wrote...

Great article AV, spot-on summary of the Keegan syndrome.

I know I'm not the first and I won't be the last but please just let me get this out of my system...Lee Gook Dong is the second worst player I have ever seen in a Middlesbrough shirt - Phil Whelan is the worst, but that's not the point.

Why oh why has Lee not been shipped back to wherever it was he came from? His embarrasing miss at Mansfield was bad enough, but his lumbering lack of quality and physical courage cost us yesterday.

As others have pointed out, instead of full-bloodedly committing himself to challenge Cacapa, he wimped out. His display was a real blight on an otherwise fiesty and at times inspiring performance. Is there any word on why we haven't got shot of him yet?

Thought NUFC's best player yesterday was Joey Barton - he got them out of jail on more than a few occasions!

Posted by: James Emmerson  | February 4, 2008 10:48 AM

DAVE CONNOR wrote...

SORRY MR VICKERS
I should have dropped my case (WRITING THAT IS) not shouting just voicing an opinion. thanks for putting my comment up anyway.

I have watched Wagner Love many times over here and believe me he is best left alone, how he started getting his game for Brazil beats me. He would be another Dong

Posted by: DAVE CONNOR  | February 4, 2008 11:13 AM

zuccinho wrote...

I find it hard to share the Gate's goodwill towards Woodgate after reading what he said on Sky Sports.

In particular, it's brilliant isn't it when one of our own is quoted saying that his England chances are much better in London because Middlesbrough is four hours travel for Capello? The Teesside toursit board should sign him up - what an ambassador!

We're well shot. He's got positional sense but no judgment.

Posted by: zuccinho  | February 4, 2008 11:47 AM

London-based Boro fan wrote...

For anybody who's wondering about "the Woodgate comments", this is how 'The Times' reported them this morning:

>> Jonathan Woodgate takes aim at Gareth Southgate

Matt Hughes

Jonathan Woodgate has launched a veiled attack on Gareth Southgate, the Middlesbrough manager, by emphasising how much he is enjoying playing for a “proper manager” like Juande Ramos, the Tottenham Hotspur head coach.

The centre back has made an immediate impression at White Hart Lane since his £8 million transfer last week, with only Carlos Tévez’s stoppage-time equaliser in Saturday’s 1-1 draw at home to Manchester United denying his new club successive clean sheets.

Woodgate’s relationship with Southgate soured towards the end of his time at Middlesbrough, with the manager endorsing the club’s decision to sell him because of concerns over his lifestyle.

The 28-year-old did not play for Middlesbrough after January 1 because of cramp but has had no such problem at Tottenham, playing two games in the space of four days.

“The fans are good, but the manager has won silverware and knows what he’s doing - he’s a proper manager,” Woodgate said. “He looks the part, he talks, he’s good. He’s won cups in Spain, two Uefa Cups in a row, and has done ever so well. He’s won the Spanish Cup and now he’s doing well in the league.

"Every manager has different ways, but I am enjoying the way things are. We’re going in the right direction and that’s why I came to Spurs. The manager, the players, you can see what they are trying to build. It’s like when I was at Leeds and all these new players came in and I was excited.”

Woodgate went on to question Middlesbrough’s ambition by saying that staying on Teesside would have been the easy option. “I wouldn’t say it’s sad, it’s my decision. I wanted to come here and do things,” he said.

“I could have stayed at Middlesbrough and had the easy, comfortable life. I could have lived near my home and gone to the games and gone back home. But I wanted to come to Spurs and move to London and play for a good team who are going places. I am a footballer and I want to win things.

"I want to play for a club with ambition and try to win trophies. It is unfortunate that I had to move on, but I am at a club who are going places."

Woodgate is feeling the benefit after being named in the England squad for the friendly against Switzerland on Wednesday and believes that moving to Spurs will help his international ambitions.

“There were a lot of internationals at Middlesbrough, but there are a lot of internationals here,” he said. “Mr Capello [the England manager] will come and watch a lot as it’s only just down the road. It’s four hours to Middlesbrough. And it’s a bit colder.” <<

* And the headline in 'Metro' is: "Woodgate wowed by the Ramos effect"! *rolls eyes* So what was all that crap when he signed last summer about realising a boyhood dream? Funny how you can really - & suddenly - go off people, innit?

And funny how he can suddenly - & apparently mysteriously - play two matches in quick succession without so much as a hint of the "cramp" (or whatever, it was) that prevented him from turning out for Boro.

If that damn' goal hadn't been disallowed in the dying seconds of yesterday's game, we'd have gone above the Barcodes & been snapping at Spurs' heels! Grrr...

** Enjoyed the article, AV. :)

Posted by: London-based Boro fan  | February 4, 2008 12:25 PM

Mick wrote...

AV, please put this on your website. It's an article written by Rod Liddle in yesterdays Sunday Times. I think it compliments your excellent article:


**AV writes: The article is linked from the blog article.

Posted by: Mick  | February 4, 2008 12:27 PM

Never Happy wrote...

Woodgate was playing for his future last season and earned his Boro contract with some great displays.

However once the ink was dry he seemed to lose interest, he was poor this season for the Boro. No player is bigger then the club, he wanted to leave and has done so.

He just comes across as petty in his article.


Posted by: Never Happy  | February 4, 2008 1:09 PM

'Ignorant' of boroland wrote...

I kept saying before and during the transfer window we needed 2 strikers incase Tuncay got injured.

A loan move can be very effective as the player is trying to get a permanent move and I think we missed a trick there.

Having said that I am very happy with the way Southgate has the team going about things on the pitch.

Apart from the Gookster I am well pleased with Gareths cardigans and waistcoats, I mean signings. Its a shame Aliadierre's goal didnt stand as he deserved it !

O'Neil will score before too long and is an integral part of the team.

Luke young has been quietly going about his business and many have failed to see how impressive he is. We could call him Allan meaning 'little rock'

All in all I am happy with the away result and joining the Southgate revolution-free cardy to every new member!

PS. special mention for Fabio Rochembach - great vision and range of passing to send the attack on its way.

Posted by: 'Ignorant' of boroland  | February 4, 2008 1:26 PM

London-based Boro fan wrote...

AV wrote...

"Luke Young lacks only one thing: a stone related and geographically specific nickname. Boro's imposing new centre-back pairing are currrently trading under the headline easy labels of the Redcar Rock and the Berlin Wall while the raw meat eating testosterone powered back line is boosted by the Alpine Hardman. Luke needs to get ignious and find a granite tag if he wants to fit into this unit. And grow a foot. And shave his head. And eat babies."

Moving completely away from all the granite/rock/lava analogies, how about "Cool Hand (or Head?)" Luke?

P.S. I think it's "igneous"... ;)

**AV writes: Yes, good spot. You are right but in mitigation it was very, very late.

Posted by: London-based Boro fan  | February 4, 2008 1:31 PM

Jack wrote...

Hi Don't touch Wagner Love nobody here in Brazil rates him. He wont cope with English football.

I don't know if anybody from the club reads this blog but if they do take a look at a player from Flamengo Marko Orellio.

I think Chelsea are Sniffing around?

Maybe they should hire me as the Brazilian scout :)

After all I did send an email to Bernie Slaven to Inform the club about Pato two years before AC Milan bought him.

Regards
Jack

Posted by: Jack  | February 4, 2008 1:35 PM

Mac in Baku wrote...

I hear there has been a large explosion in Newcastle.


The BUBBLE has burst!!!

Posted by: Mac in Baku  | February 4, 2008 2:04 PM

Ian Gill wrote...

Did anyone listen to Jeff Winter on Saturday because Ian Elliott was supposed to be on the phone - cant get the programme down here. Any info gratefully received.

**AV writes: I believe a podcast of the show will be available on the Fly Me To The Moon website later today.

Posted by: Ian Gill  | February 4, 2008 2:07 PM

dave wrote...

What a rubbish article based on "we will try to take the focus off the boro and mention newcastle all the time because we are poor".

Come on vickers, wake up. Most Newcastle fans would accept there team is useless and we are 2 points behind them in the league,and great performance yesterday. 2 POOR teams accept it.

Posted by: dave  | February 4, 2008 2:11 PM

Andy wrote...

Dave, put the rope down and walk away from the tree son, there's a good lad! A month ago the smellies were out of site and now we are almost level with them.

Of course it hasn't been a successful season but if you can't see the green shoots of recovery blossoming you need a Labrador!

With a small squad and a wafer thin striking pool we are improving and playing some good stuff. Pundits are now not mentioning our name in the relegation scrap. We are 'improving Middlesbrough'. Given the doom and gloom around here a couple of months ago our current predicament is encouraging.

However, I will always fight for your right to be miserable and grumpy; this is a democracy after all!

Posted by: Andy  | February 4, 2008 3:15 PM

Chris from Beverley wrote...

AV,

It seems that Gareth and Boro can do no wrong now in the eyes of the National Media? What is happening ?

Even Andy Gray at SKY is waxing lyrical about 'Sensible Southgate'. This is the link to his eye watering feature.

http://www.skysports.com/experts/expert_story/0,19793,12064_3101307,00.html

Let's hope this is not all a precursor to the vultures circling over the Redcar Rock and Berlin Wall.

I think Gary O'Neil needs a course of hypnotherapy, and he will be fine.

I see the Sheff Utd tickets are going like hotcakes, I was kept waiting 35 minutes on the phone for mine this morning. I hope it is going to be our year, that would certainly shut Woodgate up.

Come on Boro.

Posted by: Chris from Beverley  | February 4, 2008 3:27 PM

Geordie Lurker wrote...

I don't like to intrude on the big party to celebrate spawning a point away at a big club in your cup final but howay Mr Vickers, isn't all this a bit over the top.

I had to go and check the table in the Chronicle again and yes, Littlesborough are still two points below Newcastle, not two points behind Arsenal.

You got the same from us as Bolton did (and the same way by kicking everything that moved) - and then only because the ref with the white stick ruled out a perfectly good goal for us and missed a blatent offside for yours. Still, at least it will make your season a success.


Posted by: Geordie Lurker  | February 4, 2008 4:20 PM

Neil (USA) wrote...

Is it possible that Woodgate left because he saw that he was probably going to be third choice centre back behind Huth and Wheater?

Posted by: Neil (USA)  | February 4, 2008 4:31 PM

Dennis Wilson wrote...

Geordie Lurker,

Not YOU again, its not howay its GO AWAY you sad little skunk of a man.

Just be grateful ALVES wasnt playing

Posted by: Dennis Wilson  | February 4, 2008 4:41 PM

Black and White wrote...

So you got a point, well done. It is no big deal though, plenty of crap teams have done that this year after Fat Sam bought in his dross and left the club in a mess.

Enjoy dining out on your moral victory over the big club because when Super Kev puts his team together in the summer we will be away again and you can scrap it out with the mackems for the crumbs.

Posted by: Black and White  | February 4, 2008 4:41 PM

Ba24 T6ny wrote...

I love it just love it....when our resident Skunk comes on and cracks wise. He should have his own blog.

Remember, this is one of those people who heartily applauded Alan Smith off the pitch when he was substituted. That is zero goals Smith, the man who plays for 90 minutes with a permanent scowl on his face. The player whose only contribution to his team is to rampage around kicking and fouling etc.

So, the Skunk Lurker is surely being IRONIC when he criticises Boro for "kicking everything that moved." We prostate ourself at your feet Oh Wise Skunk (yes, that's an oxymoron.)

Posted by: Ba24 T6ny  | February 4, 2008 4:46 PM

Ste Mac wrote...

Oh no! there's two of them! Any minute now they start talking in that funny accent and banging on about geet big crowds. Lol.

Posted by: Ste Mac  | February 4, 2008 4:51 PM

David Morrison wrote...

Unfortunantly geordie whoever you are. We dont judge our season by how many points we get off the other north east teams. We judge our season over 38 games and and what we achieved in the cups.

Unfortunantly your season is so poor that you thought yesterday was your cup final. it must be great to see some attacking free flowing football as well.

i was at the game yesterday and ive got to say the Geordie fans where appalling. I never heard anything from them until you scored and even then it was for only 5 mins such was our dominance in the second half.

I dont understand why you think you have a god given right to think you're a massive club cos frankly youre not. Yes you have got 52,000 crowds but so what. Who cares?

Good lad, heres one for you...

sack the board, sack the board, sack the board.

come on boro!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: David Morrison  | February 4, 2008 4:52 PM

Never Happy wrote...

Black and White
'Enjoy dining out on your moral victory over the big club because when Super Kev puts his team together in the summer we will be away again and you can scrap it out with the mackems for the crumbs.'

Keep on dreaming as Keegan will win your lot exactly what he won for you as a player and past manager - nothing.

There was only one side playing with pride and passion yesterday, only one side passing the ball around and playing football - the team in red.

We know and except our weaknesses, you keep on dreaming, what else have you got to look forward to?

C'Mon Boro!

Posted by: Never Happy  | February 4, 2008 4:56 PM

mike from guissy wrote...

everybody is going on about swarz and his blunders....there is a keeper not a million miles away who i think would be cheap and good enough to grace the riverside ...in fact i think he could force his way into the england squad if playing regular 1st team footy....you might not like it boro fans , but that man is steve harper....what do you think ??

Posted by: mike from guissy  | February 4, 2008 5:33 PM

jc wrote...

I'd be happy with Harper. Just to play devil's advocate though, Schwarzer had a great game against Wigan. He get's so much stick it's only fair to give him credit when it's due.

Posted by: jc  | February 4, 2008 6:25 PM

Timothy Fortescue-Ffyffe wrote...

Do you uncouth (and often foul mouthed) ruffians have nothing better to do than quarrel about the banal and ridiculous "sport" of soccer.

It is well known that folk who participate in watching this primitive silly little game are a few hounds short of a fox hunt!

You people (who are most probably council house dwellers) should up your game by getting yourself an education, smartening up, and participating in real sport such as Polo, Hunting, Bowls or even Golf rather than watching those silly little men scampering about chasing and kicking a bag of wind about.

Toodle Pip!


Posted by: Timothy Fortescue-Ffyffe  | February 4, 2008 7:00 PM

mike from guissy wrote...

who the hell do you think you are you snob !!! football is the best sport ever and what does it matter where any body comes from .. go and catch a fox with your stuck up mates and leave us footy lovers alone

toodle pip to you

Posted by: mike from guissy  | February 4, 2008 7:33 PM

Nigel wrote...

Dave - you really are the most miserable bloke to post on here to date and that is saying something.

Leordie Gurker , next week you have Villa away, we have Fulham at home. We're on the way up and you're on the way down, King Kev will be gone by September.

AV - There's nothing like a well balanced piece of journalism and that was nothing like.....I love it just love it!!

Posted by: Nigel  | February 4, 2008 7:41 PM

jc wrote...

Nice to see we attract trolls from all strata of society - surely Boro aren't becoming fashionable, are they?

Posted by: jc  | February 4, 2008 8:49 PM

ian Gill wrote...

Dont get upset about bogus geordies coming on the blog because this isnt a real derby and we are too unimportant for them to waste their time posting on here. It is a total waste of time for them especially if they are admiring their emperor with no clothes.

Posted by: ian Gill  | February 4, 2008 9:34 PM

Redcar Red wrote...

It nearly went badly wrong for us after they were awarded the free kick that wasn't and Owen to his credit met the resulting cross superbly, outwitting our "land of the giants".

OK so Schwarz had a bit of a mare and DGL actually made the bench, worse still was to come when Gate actually played him. All those negatives have to be put aside and due appreciation given to Fabio for controlling the midfield, local lads Cats and the Rock kicking lumps off the "Northern" softies. Mad Dog and Cool Hand controlling the flanks whilst slick passing, pace and interplay between O'Neill, Arca, Stewy and Aliadiere bewilidered the assembled silent masses of black and white tubs of lard overstuffed with Stotties crammed full of Messiah stodge.

Things are looking very positive, style and skill balanced with fight and spirit allied to growing confidence only let down by a lack of a serious striking presence.

With Ali growing in stature and confidence every game, Tuncay looking to be settling into the pace of the Premiership, Mido almost back and Alves finally on board the 2nd half of the season looks very entertaining and cause for some serious optimism!

And finally a special mention to the Berlin Wall for another M.O.M. performance!

A rock solid defence, slick midfield and firepower finally up front the future is looking bright, it couldn't be bright enough for a FA Cup triumph could it?

Posted by: Redcar Red  | February 4, 2008 10:07 PM

Clive Road wrote...

Newcastle have become a joke club. I'm not saying that because of local rivalry or anything but it is a statement of fact. Serious football fans across the country see the entire club as a basketcase.

Look at the new owner. He has been infected with some contagious madness. One minute he is a reclusive billionaire trying to buy Spurs. The next he is parading his beer gut in a replica shirt sat among the Geordie fans at the SOS singing God knows what obscenities and buying dog all roond in bars on the Quayside. If that is not unstable behaviour what is?

And the fans... talk about delusional. These are people who queue to put the managers name on the back of their shirts and call their first born 'Shearer' and "Beardsley".

"Kev will bring back the glory days"... what glory days? The glory of choking when it mattered? The last few Geordies who have seen their team win anything in domestic football are pensioners now.

Most fans are grounded enough about their club to know their station and are realikstic about they can be achive. These idiots really believe not only that they are a major European glamour club but that we are jealous on them.

Posted by: Clive Road  | February 4, 2008 11:13 PM

Clive Hurren wrote...

James Emmerson:

Phil Whelan - Boro's worst ever? Surely not, mate - did you never see that immobile lump of lard, Michael Ricketts?

I used to want Spurs to win the Carling Cup - anybody but Chelsea - but after Woodgate's hypocritical gut-churning outburst, I've changed my mind. I would love it, love it if Chelsea stuffed them now.

What's been really brilliant about this blog and our excellent point at Sid James' has been how much it has got up the noses of the Barcode faithful - witness the 2 desperate bleats from Geordies on here.

And just to rub it in even more, mates, have a look at the Boro goal celebrations in the photo in today's Gazette / website. The rows of near-suicidal Geordies behind Huth is a brilliant sight to behold. They look as if Keegan's just bought back Titus Bramble, .... or has resigned. No, surely that couldn't happen again, could it.....?

Posted by: Clive Hurren  | February 4, 2008 11:23 PM

Lester Fox wrote...

"These idiots really believe not only that they are a major European glamour club but that we are jealous on them."

After reading through AV's archives, I must say the hypocrital and contradictary views spouted by some of lads who post on here makes them every bit as bad and delusional as their barcode mates up the road. (Never Happy in particular is one sad hypocrital deluded nutcase!)

You lot certainly seem to be jealous of "them" as your lot never shut up talking about them in your blogs and on your message boards and you are forever bigging yourself up by comparing yourselves to them even though they are totally crap.

I think you lot have either a massive inferiority complex or a massive chip on your shoulders.

Posted by: Lester Fox  | February 4, 2008 11:49 PM

Ian Gill wrote...

I think I am a fair person, both Sunderland and Toon are local rivals. I dont live my life hoping they lose though I will have a chortle in the same way they will about us.

Like many posters on this blog I view Toon with a mixture of incredulity and mirth and none of it is vindictive. I penned somewhere else that Newcastle are going to be twinned with York, both have a Shambles.

I know many Toon fans and I wish them well, same with Mackems. In Toons case you think the fans dont deserve the mess they have, then you accept they are the self styled Jawdie nation and they are part of the problem - a suspension of reality. No doubt someone will sort it out, it may be Keegan but let us enjoy the ride.

The older amongst us may remember the American comedy programme called Soap. The lead character was Bert who went a little strange and believed if he snapped his fingers he would become invisible and it helped solve his problems. I can see similarities.

Posted by: Ian Gill  | February 5, 2008 9:25 AM

red_rebel wrote...

There is a massive gulf between how Geordies see their club and how the rest of football see it.. Newcastle's problem is that they don't realise that, they think the myth is a reality. They think that when our jaws drop it is awe at their majesty but it is actually incredulity at the latest idiocy.

Before Hall and Keegan Newcastle were just another reasonably big Northern club with the profile of say, Sheff Wed, Leeds, Wolves or Sunderland, a team with decent crowds and reputation that had won things in the past but were not really a major power .

That is still true, but in GeordieWorld since then a massive act of self delusion has occurred in which the fans have convinced themselves that they are "special": that they have somehow elevated themselves into A MASSIVE CLUB on the back of two or three good seasons and that people outside Tyneside really belief all that guff about the Geordie nation, the entertainers, 'attacking football' and everyone's second favourite club.

It's just not true. None of it. They didn't entertain under Gullit, Daglish, Sounness or Allardyce. There is no special relationship between club and fans (Shepherd and Hall insulted them routinely and used the club as a cash cow for years and the mugs still queued up for more). They think uncritical consumption of branded merchandise makes them more loyal rather than more gullible.

The reality gap could be seen at KK's oscar acceptance speech when he gushed about the fans ("they love their football up here" "they really love the club" "they work hard all week" "they expect entertaining" "they want and deserve success") - all the Newcastle fans were foaming at the mouth screaming "see, see, he KNOWS" while all the rest of the country were either saying "whoopydo" or "cheeky get" because what the Geordies think is unique to them is actually THE NORM at all clubs from Hartleppol to Liverpool.

They are not special. Not as a club and not as a crowd. And the sooner they realise that the sooner they will stop being shafted by the suits in the boardroom, the TV companies and the press who are laughing at them.

Posted by: red_rebel  | February 5, 2008 10:05 AM

Never Happy wrote...

Lester Fox - thanks for that, I did not realise that my fame travelled so far.

Hypocritical - tell me a football fan who is not?

Deluded - I think not, when you follow the Boro you get used to dissapointment. If hoping for a good cup run is being deluded then count me in.

Sad - only when the Boro lose.

I have often been accused of wearing rose tinted specs as far as the Boro are concerned by quite a few posters.

Still its nice to know that you take the time to read through the archives on this blog, that seems a little sad, but keep reading and you will see that the skunks only normally get a mention when we are due to play them.

However the return of King Kev has been very entertaining and caused much laughter on Teesside. This is another reason why the posters have been mentioning the barcodes lately.

Must go I am due my medication

C'Mon Boro!

Posted by: Never Happy  | February 5, 2008 10:26 AM

Geordie Lurker wrote...

Are you lot still talking about us? No change there though eh? You are always talking about us. On your message boards, on OUR message boards, that fool on the Legends all you can hear is Smoggies giving it Toon, this, Toon that, Toon the other.

And you know why? Because we ARE the BIG club in the North-east. We ARE the club you measure yourself against. We ARE at a higher level than you, that is why Viduka and Smith picked us over you and why all the meadia concentrated on us in the "derby". You are just AN Other team.

Posted by: Geordie Lurker  | February 5, 2008 10:52 AM

Chris L wrote...

Great riposte by Never Happy and a succinct summary of what it is to be a Boro fan - prepares you well for coping with life in the real world......but in my opinion the green shoots of a major upturn are now visible.

Lets all ride the optimism and get behind GS and the team - could still be a decent season!!

Posted by: Chris L  | February 5, 2008 10:59 AM

Neil (Baku) wrote...

Ian,

Oh no !! Your worst fears realised.

"Boro’s medical men also want to put the 27-year-old (Alves) through a series of physical tests in order to fully assess his level of fitness, with a view to deciding whether he can start against Fulham."

Posted by: Neil (Baku)  | February 5, 2008 11:16 AM

Richard wrote...

Red-Rebel: An astute set of observations, extremely well put. Great piece of writing. Really enjoyed reading it.

To add a bit of my own thinking to it,........

Like chronic alcoholics, many of the Toon Army will have to come to terms with their own reality before anything can get better for them.

However, there's a massive culture thing going on, in and around Newcastle that has been present for many, many, many years, which I think may be a hindrance and which will prove difficult to break. RR has identified it also.

The pride they have in their "Geordie" identity and the wallowing in the same sort of special self-view as some of my own countrymen (the Scots) (the "Wha's like us?" mentality) is an insular perspective and in self-improvement terms, is potentially limiting. Their own benchmarks remain in place while the rest of the world moves on.

Like successfully recovering alcoholics or other substance addicts, the first step on the road to improvement is to realise and accept that they themselves are part of the problem.

Until that pressure for instant gratification is relieved from the Magpies' destructive cycle and they get stability in their decision making in the boardroom and in their management, I think they'll continue to "underperform". (I think some psychologists would argue that they actually enjoy their underachievement because despite that, it binds them as a group – together in adversity! – and reinforces some sense of identity and community).

Drawing a contrast between "The Smoggies" and "The Geordies": I think most of us would accept that in recent years Boro have outperformed our own history in footballing achievement terms.

That has been achieved, not by burying our heads in the sands of history and wallowing in the nostalgia of bygone days, but by embracing the reality of the challenges of the modern premiership and specifically, by NOT dwelling on the past, but challenging ourselves to do better than we’ve done before. (I say “we” because I like to feel an association with Steve Gibson’s vision, passion, determination, loyalty and determination – even if I’m not entitled to!)

Yes, Boro has other intrinsic limitations of being a relatively small town and in certain other aspects of location, we remain disadvantaged, being a historically industrialized “non-city”. It puts us at disadvantage in national and regional media-worthiness terms. And the power of the media should not be underestimated in any way. (They don’t underestimate that power – that’s why they’re in it!)

Newcastle on the other hand, have the potential advantages of city status and media sympathies (if harnessed correctly), neither of which have been utilized and exploited to best effect.

There’s almost an arrogant expectation that those two things and simply “being Geordie” ought to be enough in themselves to ensure success. But they’re not. They’ve got to work for it! And they’ve got to work smart!

Ironically, what unites “United” has actually caused their underachievement. There is a chasm between the rank and file Geordie supporter and the Newcastle board.

To his credit, I suspect Mike Astley may have realized that and is taking steps to try to redress it (mixing with the crowd in black ‘n white on matchday and bringing Keegan back). That’s only the first step however and, so far, it’s only spin and showmanship. He’ll only succeed if it’s backed up by sincerity and strength of character.

He’s got a long way to go in real terms however, and his own personal challenge will be to keep the baying hounds from Keegan’s ankles when they come snapping in a few weeks/ months when the instant fix doesn’t materialize.

They may have checked into rehab, but have they committed for the long term yet?

Posted by: Richard  | February 5, 2008 11:26 AM

Never Happy wrote...

Geordie Lurker - Nothing to do with the ridiculous wages the skunks offered to Viduka and Smith then?

Posted by: Never Happy  | February 5, 2008 11:44 AM

Billy wrote...

What Geordie Lurker doesn't realise is that we are laughing at them. That said, I want to hear more from him, I think he's quality. More please...

Posted by: Billy  | February 5, 2008 11:47 AM

smoggypaul wrote...

Geordie Lurker wrote...

"Are you lot still talking about us? No change there though eh? You are always talking about us. On your message boards, on OUR message boards, that fool on the Legends all you can hear is Smoggies giving it Toon, this, Toon that, Toon the other.

And you know why? Because we ARE the BIG club in the North-east. We ARE the club you measure yourself against. We ARE at a higher level than you, that is why Viduka and Smith picked us over you and why all the meadia concentrated on us in the "derby". You are just AN Other team."

Ah well, glad you keep reading and listening to all the media for this AN Other team.

So lets be clear and have no doubt in anyones minds, Newcastle is a 'bigger' club in terms of stadium size, number of supporters, historic media coverage etc etc.

I personally have fond memories of going to neutral matches at SJP in the early 70's and the atmosphere was, well, different to Ayresome Park at that time.

However, and both Red Rebel and Richard have put this point across more eloquently than I can, times have changed. If people want to point to their history and puff their chests out - then fine.

I am proud of being at both Boro Cup Winning matches [Fulham '75 & Cardiff!!! - see, if I had been able to get ticket for Eindhoven......] but prefer to live in the present. And that is where Steve Gibson has kept Boro - the here and now.

It has come up several times recently, mainly from Spurs and Barcoders, this thing that can be condensed into 'over the last 100 years we've been substantially more successful than thou hast' - and we Boro fans smile enigmatically, turn away and say 'whatever....' thinking of the last 10 years, and look with anticipation [and angst, and anger and tears and fret and excitement and more anger...etc - well that is life for all of us supporters isn't it!] to the immediate future, the next game, the rest of this season, and next season.

And Alves - for gods sake stay fit!!!

Posted by: smoggypaul  | February 5, 2008 11:59 AM

Ian Gill wrote...

Poor geordie lurker hasnt grasped the point. We have great affection for our club and can laugh about it with other fans. Neil's posting above about my worst fears - Alves being assessed by our medical staff - shows it.

We embrace humour and have a laugh. The penny hasnt dropped that everyone outside the Jawdie nation is laughing at them, not with them. There is affection there also, just like the daft puppy chasing its own tail.

The Toon fans have been badly let down by their club post John Hall. Douglas and Freddie were like Laurel and Hardy, you knew that they would find some way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

I suggest Geordie keeps off the site if it offends him, if Boro fans are posting on their boards they should stop.

Posted by: Ian Gill  | February 5, 2008 12:16 PM

jiffy wrote...

Personally i think Newcastle and Keegan are made for each other.

No-one is more responsible for the shambles at st james more than KK. 2 of his decisions have haunted the club ever and made it impossible for his successors to turn around the mess he left.

1) He abandoned the youth policy in favour of overpriced 2nd rate foreign imports on extortionate wages. He even abandoned the reserve team altogether at one point to save money to pay for his imports leaving the club incapable of putting out a decent side in thee vent of any injuries or suspensions.

2) He signed Shearer - the man who has single-handedly undermined everyone at the club since, and who is even now still sitting on the shoulder of Keegan himself like a malevolent ghoul. Dalglish, Gullit and Souness have all perished in their attempts to purge Shearer and STIll the black and white striped idiots worhsip him as some sort of demi-god!

Newcastle look relatively safe above the relegation pack but under Keegan I wouldn't mind a flutter on them going down this season. The odds will still be quite good but not for much longer as the freefall shows no sign of abating. There is still 1 place above Fulham and Derby up for grabs and the gap to Newcastle isnt that great. They are still way under the nominal "safety figure" of 40 points.

Posted by: jiffy  | February 5, 2008 12:26 PM

BLT wrote...

It is fitting the geordies wear black and white because that is the colour of the TV footage the last time they won anything.

They can call us a little club all they like, every barcode I know would love it, just love it, if they could celebrate silver like we did at Cardiff.

Posted by: BLT  | February 5, 2008 1:17 PM

Dennis Wilson wrote...

BLT well said couldnt agree with you more, almost worth putting it on their blog!!

Glad to hear David Wheater is close to signing, would be typical Boro not to tie him to a deal and lose him for nowt wouldnt it!

Cant wait till Saturday, please hurry with Alves permit, any news on that AV?

**AV writes: He was in the visa queue last I heard. "You are in a queue. One of our Embassy staff will be with you soon. We value your proposed contribution of essential skills to the British economy...."

Posted by: Dennis Wilson  | February 5, 2008 1:43 PM

smoggypaul wrote...

...and one more thing that this thread more than ever illustrates. Not only the humour but also the [relative!] sanity shown on this site, for which the erudite Mr V should be thanked on bended knee.

Too many so called football 'forums' are just outlets for barking mad tribal idiots to spout off their parochial frustrations in an at most semi-literate way.

Reading some of the insightful and well written entries here makes me [sob!] proud to be a smoggy! Albeit one in exile in Sussex!

Posted by: smoggypaul  | February 5, 2008 1:56 PM

deka wrote...

Hi Anthony

Viduka and Smith choosing Newcastle over Boro? Well, lazy greedy Viduka earned every penny of his £70k(or whatever)a week against us didn't he?(stifled giggle) And Smith (on Man U type wages)was whupped by Wheater.

I'd much rather have Tuncay and Aliadiere that those two. Well done Gareth.

Posted by: deka  | February 5, 2008 2:03 PM

Mick wrote...

AV, please put this on your website. It's an article written by Stanley McHale in yesterdays Liverpool Echo. I think it compliments your excellent article:


"IT’S sad to say, but unfortunately fantasy and spectacular hilarity rarely play a part in our day-to-day lives.

During the average week we don’t get to rip open our shirts to reveal a superman costume and catch falling helicopters, combat alien invasions or risk life and limb for archaeological relics.

Nor does the average Joe generally get to rescue damsons or even kill vampires when heading to work on a Tuesday morning.

Very few of us will ever fill a lunch hour watching people randomly slip on banana skins, dangle from a clock face, or be pulled behind a rickety old car on roller skates.

If we face facts, life in the real world can be pretty mediocre. But I think that is why, just to make up for it, we have at least been given Newcastle United.

What a brilliant institution. Not so much a football club, more a collection of lunatic ideas and hallucinogenic dreams. It exists as an almost unnerving, but at least darkly fascinating sideshow to the footballing circus.

The strangest thing about them is that their fans seem to exist in some parallel universe too. One in which a fictional club history is taken as fact.

"We just want Keegan to bring back the glory days!" they blubber, eyes filling up into the Sky Sports cameras, drunk on romance.

But they’ve never had any glory days. It’s an invented concept. They think they used to win stuff, and that the rest of the football world didn’t even dare look them in the eye out of sheer awe. It never happened. Some sort of hypnotist or evil magician has brainwashed them.

Making Kevin Keegan manager again. That was a typical Toon move. He’s not been in football for years, hadn’t even watched a game in months by his own admission, but so what? "He’s wor King Kev! Watch this, it’s gonna be ACE!"

Right you are. But then, after he’s been in charge for two matches (two matches!), what about bringing in Dennis Wise as some sort of upstairs supremo in charge of everything? But without telling Kev. Of course, without telling Kev! This is Newcastle! Don’t be telling Kev stuff!

They shouldn’t stop here. They’re always banging on about how Newcastle is "different to every other club", so why not prove it?

Stop playing on grass. Normal clubs do that. Play five miles out to sea. That’ll show the rest of us.

Michael Owen? No, far too normal for you lot. Why not sign a piece of broccoli dipped in hot cheese to play up front?

Why even exist? Why not simply play in an imaginary league that exists only in the daydreams of dolphins?

Nothing could be stranger than the treats you’re currently dishing up, and I for one like and respect you for it."

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/views/liverpool-columnists/stanley-mchale/2008/02/04/newcastle-they-re-howay-with-the-fairies-100252-20433231/

Posted by: Mick  | February 5, 2008 2:09 PM

Donald Mc Malcolm wrote...

Articles like that of Stanley McHale just go to show the deep seated jealousy that the scousers have of us cos we're a big club and they're not.

Where did they finish in div 2 in 1993 when we won it? Nowhere that's where! How many fans do they get in their ground eh? And don't get me started on how jealous they were every time we got 3 goals against them that they just had to keep on getting 4 cos they were so small and bitter. We're massive I tells ya massive...etc etc.

Posted by: Donald Mc Malcolm  | February 5, 2008 2:48 PM

Diablo Rojo (Costa de la Darlingtono) wrote...

It's best that you give your Albert Steptoe lookalikey centre back a good contract because when we decide we want him we shall just come and get him as we did with Gary Pallister.

Posted by: Diablo Rojo (Costa de la Darlingtono)  | February 5, 2008 2:50 PM

Allan J. wrote...

Alves must be depserate to get started. No wonder he is coming to the Boro, I have watched the last three games and with a talented striker there is a hat trick waiting every match.

We have built from the back and now it is time to put the ball in the net.

Build it and they will come!!

Posted by: Allan J.  | February 5, 2008 2:55 PM

smoggypaul wrote...

...and he IS coming - Visa has just been approved!!!!

Posted by: smoggypaul  | February 5, 2008 3:02 PM

Never Happy wrote...

Well done Donald McMalcolm, someone posting form barcode country who doesn't take himself to seriously.

Posted by: Never Happy  | February 5, 2008 3:25 PM

jeffrey osborne wrote...

Dear Plastic Whippet Boy

I recall manure paid £2.3m to take Pallister. Maybe back in the 80's your sedentary allegiances were with one of the bindippers seen as they were dominant?

Posted by: jeffrey osborne  | February 5, 2008 3:35 PM

bradinho wrote...

Sky Sports are reporting Alves has Visa

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11095_3110833,00.html

Good news - now lets hope he passes the Rockcliffe assessments fingers crossed that he can play some part at the weekend

Posted by: bradinho  | February 5, 2008 3:58 PM

James Emmerson wrote...

Clive Hurren - as this blog seems to be drawing to a close I will go slightly off the point and say no sorry mate I stand by Phil Whelan as the worst ever, despite taking your point about Ricketts. No doubt I would include him in my worst ever Boro XI which would be

O'Hanlon; Whelan, Baxter, Whyte, Branco; Bobby Thompson, Putney, Brennan, O'Neill; Ricketts, Gook Lee Dong sub Trevor Senior.

I've just heard that Oxo are rebranding their gravy cubes and along with a brown cube for chicken stock they are bringing out a black and white cube for laughing stock.
boom boom!

Posted by: James Emmerson  | February 5, 2008 4:27 PM

ian Gill wrote...

Now for the tricky bit for Alves, a day of fitness tests followed by two days training at Rockcliffe. At least standing in the queue at the British Embassy will get him used to waiting in line in the mistreatment room.

And Mick, that article is a corker.

Posted by: ian Gill  | February 5, 2008 4:27 PM

lauren wrote...

AV Do you know what number alves is getting??


or aynone else...


Posted by: lauren  | February 5, 2008 4:56 PM

martin in southampton wrote...

Worst ever Boro players? Hey, what about the likes of John Brownlie, Pat Heard (the man who once reportedly asked a radio cleveland reporter for a fee before doing a post match interview) and Alan Willey?

Good to see the Geordie diaspora in such a mess - and even better to see on this blog, people feeling optimistic for a change...it's been a long time coming.

Has the hangover of Eindhoven finally gone?

Posted by: martin in southampton  | February 5, 2008 5:42 PM

Nigel wrote...

Blimey its all getting a bit cosmopolitan round here! What with Dastardly Derek from Darlo and Leordie Gurker, Boro are clearly becoming fashionable, whatever next?

Posted by: Nigel  | February 5, 2008 9:12 PM

eskvalleyred wrote...

Great display in the derby game, should had had all 3 points, but there you go.

I might be getting old, but weren't "Keegan and Wise" a comedy duo on the BBC??

Fulham next; my take is that we must not give them a sniff, I would settle for a draw, so long as we don't give Fulham thier first away win.

If Alves is fit, then a debut Hat-trick would also be nice.

Plenty of support and noise please.

Posted by: eskvalleyred  | February 6, 2008 4:24 AM

dek wrote...

Sorry, put deka instead of dek.
Sorry deka,regards dek

Posted by: dek  | February 6, 2008 1:48 PM

Clive Hurren wrote...

James

Nice one. Glad to see the pie-eater's in your worst ever Boro 11. I personally would have included Billy Ashcroft. And presumably, you mean the Irish legend, Keith O'Neill,not our brilliant Gary (even though he's missed tons of good chances)?

Posted by: Clive Hurren  | February 6, 2008 11:11 PM

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