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Untypical Boro is a lively topical blog by the Evening Gazette's award winning football columnist Anthony Vickers that aims to get behind the headlines to flesh out the stories that Boro fans are talking about.

Incisive, provocative and well informed it seeks to engage with articulate supporters and give them a platform to help set the agenda on the issues that matter.

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March 2007 Archives


The Above Average White Band

Posted by on March 2, 2007 1:25 PM

BRANDING: the key to success in the cut-throat modern marketplace. Ask any switched-on businessman in any field from fashion to football and they will tell you the power of a product to be instantly recognised among its rivals in a hectic hard-sell shopfront scrum is paramount to on-going success and expansion.

The ability of a simple, unique visual device to short-circuit the bewildering array of ‘lifestyle choices’ and stamp a definable image in the sub-conscious is key in the battle for the hearts and minds of the consumer. A distinct logo helps build an identity, develop loyalty from existing customers and entice new ones. It allows ‘synergy’, the cross promotion of a wide range of products and services under the same brand name. That’s why companies pay slick spin-doctors and image consultants fortunes in a bid to replicate the almost mystical global market pulling power of the three stripes of Adidas or the Nike swoosh.

So it has always astounded me that when a company has just such a visible and instantly recognisable device on their hands they should fail to maximise its branding potential. Boro have just that: the white chest band across a red shirt - and they are ready to scrap it.

Continue reading "The Above Average White Band" »

Cartoon Stars Claim Derby Bragging Rights

Posted by on March 3, 2007 11:09 PM

DERBY DAY started badly for Boro as they lost 3-0 away at high-flying Warbury in 'Striker', the Sun's soccer soap comic strip. Omens abounded as the Yak failed to get past a back line marshalled by an old school agricultural free-kick machine of a defender, a constipated looking Woodgate was twice caught out as Boro leaked goals on the break and Mark Schwarzer flapped at a shot and could only parry it to an opposition player's feet in an hard to argue against 'art imitates life' kind of moment. Usually when Boro lose to Warbury they get battered in real life too. Three years running. Yes, I know. I am bidding for a life on eBay.

The day could have got a worse too. But for two far more generously scripted saves from Schwarzer and a few story board close shaves Boro could have headed back down the A19 empty-handed. As it was, despite being blunt up front and under the cosh for long spells at the back, Boro will be the happier. They have taken four points from the Geordies, can claim the crucial North-east bragging rights and left the pitch with the home fans that remained booing their own side heartily for a failure to make their territorial advantage count.

Continue reading "Cartoon Stars Claim Derby Bragging Rights" »

The Riverside Crowd's Middle-Age Spread

Posted by on March 8, 2007 9:13 AM

THE RIVERSIDE crowd is paunchy, greying and getting a little bit grumpy. Sit down in front there son, I can't be standing with my sciatica. We haven't quite got to the stage where the kiosks sell cocoa but the club shop already sells those sensible gifts beloved of the elderly: hip flasks, car blankets, humbugs, cut glass decanters and cross stitch patterns. Can those fur-lined zip-up slippers in club colours be far away?

We have long been aware of this demographic trend in the crowd and have commented on it here in the past but now the excellent David Conn has put some figures on it. In an article in the Guardian on Why Football Is No Longer a Young Man's Game he points to timely new research on the profile of the Premiership crowd that the clubs should bear in mind when they come to draw up their pricing policies over the next few years.

Continue reading "The Riverside Crowd's Middle-Age Spread" »

Teesside's Trophy Treble Chance

Posted by on March 9, 2007 10:56 PM

I DESPERATELY need Boro to beat Manchester United - if only to keep alive my once far fetched hopes of an orgasmic trophy treble winning climax to the season. I have crazily pencilled in Boro to go first footing in the FA Cup final at the fashionably late New Wembley, bubbling Billingham Synthonia to keep on beating the big boys to lift the FA Vase and mighty minnows Billingham Town to lift the Northern League title for the first time.

What the hell, let's really go for: Guisborough and Stokesley could face off in the Northern League second division cup and in the Wearside League Wolviston are in the Shipowners Cup final and both Redcar-based Teesside Athletic and Guisborough Black Swan are in the semi finals of the League Cup. There could be a run on Brasso.

Continue reading "Teesside's Trophy Treble Chance" »

Cup Game Flags Up Mixed Messages On Downing

Posted by on March 11, 2007 10:45 PM

THE TWE12th Man unfurled a new pre-match visual device in the North Stand with a pair of eight foot square flags in the club's traditional home and away colours - for any club marketing men not aware, that's that's red with a white band and blue and black stripes - furiously waved in impressive patterns by steely biceped Boro boys. My semaphore is a bit rusty but I thought I made out the phrases "miserable red-faced whinger", "dirty, cheating, diving nancy boy" and "ugly spud-faced granny botherer". The link with the sea cadets is really paying dividends.

The critics who say the Twe12th Man is out of step with the Boro consensus must be right. If they had truly caught the mood of the night they would not trying to intimidate the opposition players or rousing fierce local pride. If they were really picking up the vibe from 'the Boro street' the flags would be angrily spelling out: "Downing you useless fanny."

Stuart Parnaby will be relieved, we have a new boo-boy target: the man whose crosses created both goals. The local lad made good who over the past two seasons has been Boro's assist king. The creative force who single-handedly salvaged the UEFA Cup dream with a string of pinpoint crosses against both Basel and Bucharest that engineered an historical orgasm.
The bloke who barely a month ago ripped apart Bolton and took centre-stage in Boro's most convincing display of the season. Yes, its official: Stewart Downing is rubbish!


Continue reading "Cup Game Flags Up Mixed Messages On Downing" »

Rave Review For Southgate Show

Posted by on March 15, 2007 8:58 AM

WHAT A thoroughly nice bloke. Thoughtful, articulate, reasonable but capable of passion, realistic but very ambitious, serious but with humour, honest, modest, polite, engaging, genuine, diplomatic, human, self-deprecating... but enough about me - did you catch Gareth Southgate in his illuminating hour long Q & A session on Radio Cleveland?

The Boro boss ticked all the right boxes and pressed a lot of populist buttons as he eased to a comfortable PR win. As with the team, it was an open and crowd-pleasing display that was totally unthinkable under the old regime. Stony Steve McClaren's interaction with supporters was frosty at best and he would never consider making himself available to the local media in such an uncontrolled format. It would have been a string of foot in mouth moments that would have inflamed the mob, sparked new divisions and left in its wake accusations of arrogance, duplicity, self-serving spin and disrespect for the supporters.


But Southgate is far more personable, open and, well, intelligent. He realises the importance of the relationship between the fans and the club and is keen to foster it. He has a feeling for the club and its importance to the people and to the town. What a refreshing change.


Continue reading "Rave Review For Southgate Show" »

Rest The Big Guns Ready For United

Posted by on March 16, 2007 8:58 AM

KEEPING the season buzzing is the most important thing now . The trip to Old Trafford holds out the prospect of glory and victory there will set up a spectacular season finale of the kind we would barely have believed credible back in August.

Beating Manchester City would be a quickly forgotten short term high if Boro then come down with a bang and lose on Monday. To have an almost tangible semi-final showdown with Watford and a chance to first foot at Wembley snatched away would be a cruel crippling blow.

To that end Boro should rest their big hitters to keep them fresh for Old Trafford. We should concentrate all our fire on the replay. It is the doorway to glory and victory is paramount.


Continue reading "Rest The Big Guns Ready For United" »

New Boro Injury Shock?

Posted by on March 19, 2007 10:38 AM

D'OH! Boro left back starlet Andrew Taylor has suffered a toe injury and has pulled out of the England U-21 squad for next week's Wembley curtain-raiser with Italy, according to reports from PA which we are trying to confirm. Presumably that means he is has also been ruled out of tonight's match leaving Boro with a massive defensive crisis.

If true then he must be out of tonight's game or why withdraw him for the U-21s now? They would just announce it tomorrow if they wanted him to rest it after the game. There is no point getting the FA riled by withdrawing him from the squad then playing him tonight. So we must assume then that Boro are without him for the big Old Trafford showdown.

Continue reading "New Boro Injury Shock?" »

Penalties, Professionalism and Two Fingers To Fans

Posted by on March 19, 2007 11:03 PM

FIRST let us make clear that the referee had to give a penalty. In real time and from where he was stood well away from play the decision looked a stonewall one: Ronaldo cut inside and Woodgate stuck out a foot. There was contact and the man with the spring loaded spine went PING! Game over. That he himself scored the spot-kick just rubbed salt in the wound.

In the post-mortem the certainty evaporated. Woodgate clearly stetched to tackle but then pulled out short and planted his studs firmly in the turf, presumably to block any attempted cross. The contact when it came was initiated by Ronaldo as the penalty box artiste sensed the golden opportunity and cut across to tumble over the defender's knee in dramatic fashion. It was a master class in chance taking and forcing the referee's hand.

But the reaction to it was maddening, and saddening. There is an unconscious dark alliance of managers, officials and pundits within the game who conspire to justify this creative approach to the exploitation of the rules, who have made institutional cheating an integral part of the game: diving, dissent, feigning injury, pushing, pulling and claiming throws after you have personally put out the ball out. Those who take a living from the game do not realise and do not care about the gravity of the insult to the paying public when they turn a blind eye to this cancerous trend.

Continue reading "Penalties, Professionalism and Two Fingers To Fans" »

Cup KO Caption Contest

Posted by on March 21, 2007 9:23 AM

AS a diversion from the debris of angst, bitterness and recriminations left in the wake of Boro's painful FA Cup exit, let's lighten the mood with a little caption competition.

Here's a fantastic PA picture of the shocking scenes as a furious Spurs fan invaded the pitch and took a swing at Frank Lampard after their replay on Monday night. Unbelieveable! Outrageous! Disgraceful. Here, isn't that Stewy Downing?

stewypunch.jpg

Bearing in mind that lawyers and young people read this blog, who is saying what to who?


England Woody Blow Is Good News For Boro

Posted by on March 22, 2007 10:22 PM

GET IN! Result. That was my reaction to the news that Jonathan Woodgate was pulling out of the England squad for the weekend qualifier in Israel. It's not so much that I am a warped individual who wishes to see pain and international frustration descend on our iconic stopper, more that seeing him limp out of the big match was undoubtedly a big boost for Boro.

He has picked up a minor knee injury and dropped out of McClaren's set-up in the full glare of the sensationalist media circus that follows the national side. My first instinct was that it will have been caused by the knock he got as the gravitationally challenged Ronaldo cut inside and clipped him on it as he looked for an excuse to go sprawling.

My second was that this was fantastic news for Boro. The more short-sighted managers, cheque-book wielding chief executives and rat pack journalists who think Woody is a serial crock the better because it strengthens the club's hand when it comes to battling for his signature in the Summer.

Continue reading "England Woody Blow Is Good News For Boro" »

Unpopular Mac On Borrowed Time... Again.

Posted by on March 26, 2007 10:45 PM

JUST AS the Queen must believe the whole world beyond the Buck House gates smells of fresh paint so must Steve McClaren have mounting empirical evidence that the background noise to everyday life is jeering, booing and unprovoked vitriolic comments.

The hapless England boss has got off to the worst ever start of any England manager, has seen his public image crash and burn, has alienated the supporters and has been comprehensively savaged by the entire spectrum of the press. Even mild mannered but extremely influential Henry Winter of the Telegraph has put the boot in. Mac must yearn for his cosy golden age of relative popularity, tangible success and only sporadically dodging flying Red Books and brickbats from an adoring Boro public.

Steve McClaren has been found out with England. His weaknesses have been exposed in the unforgiving spotlight that comes with the job, his uncomfortable media presence and naive attempts at self-defensive spin ruthlessly ripped apart, his tactics put under intense scrutiny and found wanting and his clumbsy man-management skills found wanting. In an unforgiving arena where every mistake can be fatal Steve McClaren has already made far too many.

Continue reading "Unpopular Mac On Borrowed Time... Again." »

Support Super Synners Wembley Dream

Posted by on March 28, 2007 1:41 PM

A WORD of thoroughly deserved praise for bubbling Billingham Synthonia, the pyramid part-timers who are within sight of a fairytale trip to the spectacular new Wembley Stadium that could pour second hand consolation glory into the vaccuum left by Boro's bitter FA Cup exit.

Super Synners face on Southampton-based side AFC Totton on Saturday taking a 2-1 advantage into the second leg of their FA Vase semi-final. They have the upper hand and a pyschological edge after a dogged tin hats defence and a late winner in a sparkling show against the cloud-scraping Southampton outfit's Land of the Giants aerial attack.

Victory - or even a draw - on Saturday will set up a thrilling climax to the season with a silverware showdown in the shadow of the iconic arch. I am so excited I could explode. The people of Teesside show be proud of their mighty minnows and football fans should get themselves to Central Avenue on Saturday.


Continue reading "Support Super Synners Wembley Dream" »

John Bull Takes A Tumble

Posted by on March 29, 2007 10:33 AM

PATRIOTS: if thine own eye offend you.... amid the spluttering of indignation at England only winning, the forensic fury from the poison pens aimed at the boss and a flurry of doughnut and root vegetable based cartoon character assassinations there seemed little room to point out the latest penalty box am-dram acrobatics for the benefit of the referee.

We hear much about Johnny Foreigner being particular being adept at the art of the tumble and how this alien virus is damaging the game and the standards we true English hearts alone fight to defend. Hold on - that dive by Steven Gerrard was pathetic!

Continue reading "John Bull Takes A Tumble" »

The Bleak Flip Side To The Statistical Coin.

Posted by on March 29, 2007 10:35 PM

BORO go to West Ham looking to bounce back from their bitter FA Cup exit and step up the push for Euro glory through the tradesman entrance of the Intertoto Cup, or so the upbeat spin would have it. Bolton, Everton and Spurs have applied for the safety net but could all yet squeeze into the UEFA Cup if the big boys carve up the trophies again.

Blackburn, just four points ahead of Boro and also still bidding for a lucky losers spot in the FA Cup, and reigning plaque holders Newcastle, one point better off, have also applied and both can easily be overhauled if only our heroes can continue their recent good form.

Hold on. Come again. Good form?

Continue reading "The Bleak Flip Side To The Statistical Coin." »

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