GAMES played plus two (Gp+2 = S). That was shrewd survivalist Lennie Lawrence's time tested Maths of the Day formula proving the points needed for successful top flight trapdoor dancing.
Incidentally, I like the picture of Lennie as a survivalist, eeking out a combat-clad Spartan existance on the moors, eating the small furry victims of cunningly constructed traps and building a home-from-home bender from twigs and animal pelts, taking advantage of the solitude to work on new theoretical models of the points-per-game ratios needed for promotion.
But going by his earlier pre-hunter'gatherer work, the seminal "Lawrence Law", Boro are currently bang on target for yet another prediction of "top six this time, deffo" in next years Red Book renewal plea after a watershed weekend of number-crunching Premiership fun.
If, like me, you are already anxiously watching other teams' results then there are some reasons for relief and celebration - and bemused headscratching - after the latest round of Premiership games as a string of results went Boro's way.
Watford - who beat Boro, who beat Chelsea - were spanked by Jose Mourinho's increasingly paranoid victims of an insidious refereeing plot. That ended the Hornet's purple patch (a goalless draw with Charlton and the win over our heroes) and banged another few nails in the coffin. Meanwhile Charlton's own revival (0-0 draw with Newcastle, beat Man City) also dissolved with a 3-2 defeat at Wigan that left them rock bottom and facing the lid coming down there too.
Usefully Blackburn lost too, 1-0 at home to Man United while Sheffield United's late revival in a 2-2 draw earned them a point and moved them out of the bottom three for the first time. The Blades have Man United next but the face West Ham, Watford and Charlton in quick succession which could shape their fate. Three draws would be nice.
But maybe a more significant result for Boro came as mediocre Man City and non-descript Newacastle conspired to produce a fearful goalless draw of Boro-Charlton tedium proportions that suited neither. It left City thrashing around like a non-swimmer in the wave pool at Center Parcs and the striker light Geordies - who play Arsenal and Portsmouth next - in the relagtion zone and staring anxiously at the big black and white panic button and wondering if Fat Freddy, twitchy Glenn or would be Messiah Big Al Shearer will push it first .
Boro need the results to kindly keep going that way - but we can't rely on it.
Boro's scrappy win was perhaps the biggest result of the day in the bottom six. After woeful, inept and frankly embarrassing but, sadly, oh so predictable defeats to City and Watford, Boro won ugly against "in form" - these terms are all relative - West Ham and burst their bubble.
The result, a textbook six pointer lifted Boro above the 'Ammers, City, Blackburn and above Lennie Lawrence's survival threshold. And, almost unbelieveably, it lifted the unpredicatble team within three points of seventh placed Everton - who we have beaten.
The stuttering, erratic, bizarre season so far is summed up when you consider that there are now seven teams below Boro - and four of them (City, Watford, the Blades and Blackburn) have beaten us. We can't afford to lose any of the returns if we are to stick with Lennie's formula.
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