RUMOURS always start when someone insists they have had a text off their cousin who insists they have seen Roberto Carlos or David Putton at Teesside Airport, the Tontine or Crathorne Hall. How we laugh. As if.
But what about when someone on the sports desk swears down dead they have seen a top Boro target driving past Coulby Newham? What if the sighting flies in the face of logic and all the available evidence? What if the club deny any possibility? Do we still write it ? Because that is the dilemma today at the Gazette.
One of our crack team of eagle-eyed objective reporters insists he saw Martin O'Neill - or an exceptionally good doppleganger - on Wednesday night slowing down in a torquoise Ford Probe style sporty number as the car approached Hemlington roundabout.
Yes, it sounds ridiculous. But we have spent the last few weeks studying photos of the bespectacled prospective Boro boss. We should know. Our man was jogging - because that's the kind of all action healthy lifestyle we sports scribes lead - and got a good full face view as the car slowed down. Look, it's not conclusive but bad lads have been sent down on far more tenuous eveidence from a police line-up.
Yes, enough to get some chav half seen in twilight banged up but that's not enough to change the back page. We can't lead on someone thinking they saw someone driving towards the Coulby Wacky Warehouse. Can we? No. Not unless you are sure. Why didn't you have your phone? Are you sure it was him?
Now, he has tortured himself. He could be mistaken. Those glasses must be common. And surely Martin O'Neill would have a better car than a Ford Probe, production of which was discontinue in 1997. But what if O'Neill is a down to earth guy uneasy with the trappings of wealth and privilege. Maybe he doesn't want a Hummer. And what's he doing driving up there? Nipping to Tescos? Ah, but if you were thinking about joining maybe you would want to drive around, check out Millionaires Row in Great Broughton. And maybe he was driving to Gibbo's gaff.
But maybe it wasn't him. It's not strong enough to go on. The sighting has been dismissed. If it was anyone else we would reject it. It must have been a lookalike. There is nothing conclusive. He wasn't jumpin and pointing and ranting and raving claiming he had right of way. He didn't have Neil Lennon with him. Our man didn't hear him say "noiy".
And yet, what if? He was the first choice target and although he was put 'on the back burner' he was never ruled out. And with El Tel fading why not go back to O'Neill. It makes sense. Meanwhile a spate of other 'sightings' has sparked a text frenzy on Teesside as stories of O'Neill being seen at Hurworth spread like wildfire among Boro fans. And O'Neill's prices with the bookies have been slashed from a generous 16-1 two days ago to as low as 9-5 today so there is definitely a rabbit off. Maybe it was him.
Ah, our man is back-tracking now. It wasn't turquoise, it was more a jade.
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