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Untypical Boro is a lively topical blog by the Evening Gazette's award winning football columnist Anthony Vickers that aims to get behind the headlines to flesh out the stories that Boro fans are talking about.

Incisive, provocative and well informed it seeks to engage with articulate supporters and give them a platform to help set the agenda on the issues that matter.

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April 2006 Archives


Spare A Thought For Kerny

Posted by on April 1, 2006 11:17 PM

PLUCKY WEE Gretna going from Northern League to the Scottish Cup final in just a decade is quite an achievement.

With big money backing they have clocked up successive third and second division titles and now will cap their football fairytale with a trip to Hampden Park after a 3-0 thumping of first division Dundee.

But while Gretna deservedly soak up the plaudits spare a thought for defeated Dundee's manager.... Alan Kernaghan.

Continue reading "Spare A Thought For Kerny" »

Big Jack Airbrushed From History?

Posted by on April 3, 2006 9:13 AM

AS WE all know 1992 was football's Year Zero. Nothing before Sky Sport's cash-rich "whole new ball game" swallowed soccer now exists. A long and colourful history has been deleted.

That is why younger, newer Boro fans persist in saying that last season's seventh place finish is "our best ever". It isn't. Check your Boro Bible.

The national media are complicit in the Orwellian rewriting of history too. Supposedly well informed journalists have pronounced that Reading's promotion to the top flight is the earliest ever. It isn't... check your Boro Bible again.

Continue reading "Big Jack Airbrushed From History?" »

Time For Club To Offer A Helping Hand?

Posted by on April 5, 2006 11:16 AM

A LOT of people in football pay lip service to the supporters. "The fans are a bit special at this club"... "they're worth a goal start"... "they are our twelvth man."

That rhetoric is at odds with the matchday realities of draconian stewarding, contemptuous customer services and the punative pricing policies needed to keep our heroes in diamond ear-studs and Hummers. For a lot of the time I am convinced the clubs hate fans and see us at best as a neccessary evil.

But Charlton are putting their money where their mouth is - for next week's FA Cup quarter-final replay at the Riverside they are laying on FREE transport for their travelling support.

Continue reading "Time For Club To Offer A Helping Hand?" »

A Night For Heroes

Posted by on April 6, 2006 10:43 AM

ARE YOU ready for the dramatic tension of penalties? I think I would spontaneously combust.

But that is exactly what I expect: extra time and penalties - and typical Boro to either do it in the hardest way possible or to leave us heartbroken and surrounded by the debris of shattered dreams.

It will be a night for heroes. A night of nerve-shredding, adrenaline splashed emotion that will require nerves of steel as much as ability and application on and off of the pitch.

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Date With Destiny: Boro v Basel

Posted by on April 7, 2006 7:22 AM

IT WAS A night of do or die destiny. Approaching the ground there was a real buzz and a real racket. With half an hour to go there there was loud chanting. I couldn't believe it. It must be heaving in there already. But when I got in there was no-one there but a small knot of Swiss fans and a few scattered early ra-ras foam hands at the ready.

So where did the noise come from? Muy money is on Me Mark Page pumping out mega-decible crowd effects in a bid to lure waverers in nearby Doggy or the the town into thinking it was Cardiff all over again and they really must get there.

Basle haven't brought many. We were led to believe that they travelled in numbers and took 3,000 to Man United in a Champions League dead rubbber but there are barely 250 here for a game of massive importance. "Basel At home, Watching Das Bill"

Continue reading "Date With Destiny: Boro v Basel" »

Crowd Figures Put Club In A Spin

Posted by on April 8, 2006 9:54 AM

LESSONS IN SPIN: Turning The Story Round. No 1 of an occasional series.

First lets look at the wrong way to deal with leading questions that aim to shift the debate onto a pre-determined negative agenda :

Question: "So, a disappointing crowd of just 24, 541 for a UEFA Cup quarter-final?"
Answer: "Yes, we are very disappointed with it . We have done everything we can to get people in the town to games but they are just not interested. "

Now the right way:

Continue reading "Crowd Figures Put Club In A Spin" »

Radio Ga-Ga

Posted by on April 10, 2006 1:20 PM

THE GOOD thing about having a car park pass at the Riverside is that you can avoid the crush in the underpass. The bad thing is that you are compelled to listen to far more of the 'Simply Red' post-match moan-in than can possibly be good for you as you sit waiting to inch out on to the A66 .

"Just turn it off", my wife snaps as I growl at the radio, make disparaging remarks about the intellect and integrity of some of the callers and snort with derision as Bernie Slaven explains his decision no' to name a man of the match yet again. After refusing to hand it over so often in the past few years the bequiffed fence-climber must have a bigger stock pile of bubbly than a Ascot hospitality tent on Ladies Day.

Sometimes I wish I had a Jeriboam to hand to smash the radio into a thousand pieces as yet another blinkered boo boy expounds the bleakest of world views and condemn's our heroes out of hand - then admits he wasn't even at the match. "But it sounded terrible Bernie."


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Time To Cast Off The Chains of the Chickenrun

Posted by on April 12, 2006 9:52 AM

AS TONY Blair once said: "This is not a time for soundbites. The hand of history is resting on our shoulders."

Victory tonight will set up a mind-blowing big match blur of three semi-final showdown's in eight action packed days. Semi-finals. Three of them. In eight days. That is just staggering. This club is now unrecognisable from the makeweight no-marks most of us learned to laugh at and barrack mercilessly from the Holgate.

And what if we win? Not just the semi-finals but one of the cups? Or both? How will Teesside's dedicated army of perennial pessimists cope? And will their tendency to gloom stop them enjoying our moment of glory?

It is time for Boro fans to rewire themselves for success.

Continue reading "Time To Cast Off The Chains of the Chickenrun" »

Operation Riverside Thwarted

Posted by on April 13, 2006 8:02 AM

OPERATION Riverside: the most catastrophic attempt to smash the Red Army since Hitler launched Barbarossa.

It was a great PR stunt and refreshing to see the club invest in their travelling support. That will reap future goodwill but ultimately it just meant there were more of them there to see their side steam-rollered.

There were 5,000 Charlton fans in the Riverside and they were making a right racket. Early on at least. But it was jubuilant Boro fans that were left celebrating another thriling four goal display by our heroes and rushing back to the war room to plan operations Brum, Bucharest and beyond.

Continue reading "Operation Riverside Thwarted" »

Semi Final Show Of Pride On The Cards

Posted by on April 14, 2006 10:31 PM

BORO'S last FA Cup semi-final was marked by that spectacular display of colour with the Big Cards. Remember?

Dozens of volunteers got to Old Trafford early to lay out 14,000 cards that when raised just before kick-off created a striking image of a red background and a white band. Red hot iron, white hot steel. I am convinced that was the moment the penny dropped with Boro marketing chiefs that the chest band was a simple, distinctive and very marketable motif that struck a chord with the supporters of this club.

With another FA semi-final on the horizon can we make a similar splash? Have we got the time? Have we got the will?

Continue reading "Semi Final Show Of Pride On The Cards" »

Queuing For Success Is A Complete Failure

Posted by on April 17, 2006 8:49 PM

TO SOME minds the sight of a bedraggled queue snaking around the Riverside is a sign of success. It shows there is a real hunger for the hottest tickets in town. It shows people are willing to jump any hurdle to be part of the dream. It shows that there is a demand. Tthe assumption is made that the club must be therefore doing something right.

Wrong, wrong wrong. The sight of a queue is a patently visible sign of the failure of Boro's ticket distribution systems.

In an multi-media date-base age where the retail sector is sussed and sophisticated and the consumer is king, something is badly wrong when dedicated fans must take time off work to stand for hours to buy a ticket.

Continue reading "Queuing For Success Is A Complete Failure" »

Villa Victory Is Boro Omen

Posted by on April 19, 2006 11:55 AM

DO YOU believe in omens? Me neither. But at times like this I'll take anything that you've got it. Any smidgeon of unscientific nonsense that helps build a positive white noise in this week of destiny must be a good thing.

Go on, admit it. You'll clutch at anything to add flesh to the otherwise far-fetched belief that this team can win three semi-finals, two finals and book a place in next August's Super Cup in Monaco against Barcelona. Having grown up watching dreary home defeats to Grimsby and being kicked in the teeth by fate a dozen times along the way that serial silverware scenario is so preposterous that it makes finger crossing, odd sock wearing, unchanged underwear, lucky dressing rooms and blood sacrifices to primitive Gods seem perfectly rational.

So when you find out that at the heart of Boro's defence there are two players who have already beaten Steaua in the UEFA Cup, well that kind of omen is a big boost. I mean, it's not mumbo-jumbo is it? It is based on sporting science. And history. It is fact I tell you. FACT!!


Continue reading "Villa Victory Is Boro Omen" »

Boro Should Go Large After Big Mac

Posted by on April 22, 2006 10:57 PM

SO, lets assume that the bookies are right and Stevie Mac is off to England leaving as his Riverside legacy a second bit of silverware and a third successive European adventure. What next? More importantly, who next?

Obviously the media will speculate over the usual suspects and will spin more than Rapunzel as they seek to out "exclusive" the opposition . Martin O'Neill has already been revealed as the new man. David Moyes plus England rejects Alan Curbishly and Sam Allerdyce will no doubt get their splash unveiling too while there will be a sentimental parochial bandwagon rolling for Mogga, possibly in a dream ticket with Brucie. Or Cooper. Or the Gate.

The day after Mac departs the postbag will contain 100 applications for his job. Half will be from no-hopers, has beens and joke candidates boasting Championship Manager glory or Teesborough League triumphs. One will be from me looking for a cheap and easy column from the rejection letter.

But ten will be very good candidates. And two or three will be staggeringly good candidates, the best the game has to offer. That's what we want. Boro can do better than a tired list of mid-table maestros. Boro can go galactico.

Continue reading "Boro Should Go Large After Big Mac" »

Bounce Back And Seize History

Posted by on April 23, 2006 10:07 PM

GUTTED. But defiant. And determined to put it right on Thursday. That's how I felt and that's how I wanted the players to feel. And for once the boss came out and said something that echoed what I was hearing all around me.

"There's a lot of battered and bruised egos and bodies in there," he said. "But we have to pick ourselves up. There's nothing I can say or do to make them feel better now but they will come in on Tuesday and will start working hard again because we don't want to feel like that again on Thursday."

In an ideal world he would then have snatched the microphone off a surprised Gordon Cox, jumped up on the press room desk and started bellowing: "I get knocked down! But I get up again, you´re never gonna keep me down" while gesticulating to the cockney media that he would "have them" before going into a chorus of "We Shall Overcome" .

Continue reading "Bounce Back And Seize History" »

Gate Points To Progress Through Pain

Posted by on April 25, 2006 10:18 AM

IS BORO'S current success by accident or design? Certainly the season has not panned out as it was intended. The Red Book renewal spin stated emphatically that we were aiming at the top six and beyond but back in January suddenly we were deep in the brown stuff and it was time to start digging. That wasn't in the script.

I raise this not to muddy the waters before our UEFA Cup moment of truth but because, well, HE started it. Gareth Southgate is a player to be admired for his insight and integrity and willingness to answer a question honestly. Some people may suspect his timing is questionable after he started picking at the barely healed scabs of January in the Sunday Times but we shouldn't forget where we were at back then.

"Well, there was so much going on behind the scenes," he recalled. "The chairman deserves a lot of credit because at that point it looked as if important players were going, and he put a block on that. Otherwise we’d have lost Mark Schwarzer, Ugo Ehiogu and Jimmy-Floyd Hasselbaink, who have all played significant parts in our revival. The manager wanted to bring in new blood and felt he had to sell those three to do that ... It was the dressing room, as much as the manager, that put things right."

Continue reading "Gate Points To Progress Through Pain" »

Eindhoven On The Cards For Boro

Posted by on April 28, 2006 10:21 AM

ILIE NASTASE, Nadia Comeneci, Gheorgi Hagi, Vlad the Impaler, Dan Petrescu, Nicolai Ceaucescu, the Cheeky Girls, can you hear me Cheeky Girls... your boys took one hell of a beating.

What a match. Pulsating. Dramatic. Passionate. Crazy. Four goal last gasp come back kings Boro salvaged the dream again. In this surreal season that defies any rational analysis is theer anyone with a smile as wide as the Transporter today who doesn't believe we are fated to win this thing?

Here's my emotionally inconitent impressions from last night, written live but never posted because of the post-game frenzy of celebration and quote gathering. It is a long one, pull up a chair and pour yourself a cuppa...

Continue reading "Eindhoven On The Cards For Boro" »

Phil Scolari Ate My Hamster

Posted by on April 28, 2006 11:10 PM

IN A month's time the tabloid press will be engaged in a cut-throat circulation war that will centre around "backing our boys" in the World Cup. In their dreams it will be 'the Sun wot won it'.

With super soaraway reader giveaways, competitions to win win win, free Wayne Rooney masks and those essential cut-out-and-throw-in-the-bin supplements they will be chasing sales and a massive advertising revenue boost. Vast sums rest on Team England's progress. A successful team means profit for the papers.

So why the hell are they doing their best to disrupt the national team? What is the point of an unprincipled rummage through the metaphorical dustbins of candidates for the job of England manager? The self-appointed, self righteous moral guardians of the nation are showing themselves to be the most salacious, unscruplous and sleazy gossip mongers imaginable. The intolerable tabloid zest for a shock horror expose is out of control.

Continue reading "Phil Scolari Ate My Hamster" »

Boro's Cavalier Footballing Is Winning Friends

Posted by on April 30, 2006 10:51 PM

BORO: Everyone's favourite other team? Don't be preposterous. It will take more than consecutive script-ripping four goal thrillers to break generations of instinctive hostility and have us dubbed the new 'Entertainers'.

And yet there seems to be a wave of goodwill aimed at Teesside from all points on Planet Football. The pulsating UEFA Cup miracle fightbacks have cracked some ingrained prejudices and won a lot of friends. And you can see why. We live in an age of stultifying, soperific, predictable, user-unfriendly ultra-cautious football that has dulled the nation's love for the game with a diet of televised top flight tedium that has medical science invesigating possible use as a sedative

So Boro's galvanising blend of nerve tingling drama and cavalier to-hell-with-tactics passionate all-out attack is a powerful Roy of the Rovers antidote to the satelitte dark age of dull, dull, dull matches.

Continue reading "Boro's Cavalier Footballing Is Winning Friends" »

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