THIS IS an experimental broadcast under combat conditions live from the Riverside press box up in the fabled Row Z so please forgive any typos.
I don't promise kick-by-kick coverage - you want Stadtler and Waldorf on Century for that - but I will pass on as much of the colour and passion as I can, along with the hysterical snippets of tabloid tittle tattle, cynical comments from the crowd and the best of the chants... oh and maybe some football as well
There was a dramatic build-up with Pagey trading his patriotic English record collection and cliched Italian one song for song... Three Lions... Nessun Dorma.... World In Motion... Ti Amo... you get the picture. If kick off hadn't arrived I was sure we were in for Joe Dolce.
There's not a lot of Italians, 200 maybe and most them haven't travelled as far as some of the Boro lot. There are quite a few Roma shirts accompanied by Geordie accents. Hope they've got The Bill Sky-Plussed.
There was a fantastic start as George Boateng rattled their keeper within two minutes. As predicted. The keeper rolled around as if stabbed on the stairs of the senate. As predicted.
PENALTY!!! Mendi slotted a ball through for the Jimmy in the box and he went flying under the challenge of the keeper. On the replay it looked a bit like he waited for the clumbsy foot to arrive then launched on a spectacular trajectory but hey ... who cares? Yakubu slammed it home ONE NIL! Ten minutes and we're ahead.
Que Sera, sera, whatever will be, we're going to Italy, que sera, sera. What a noise. Loud and proud. That's the sound of people who are winning in Europe!
20 minutes gone and the tempo has dropped sa bit and Roma are seeing a lot more of the balland the full volume triumphalism has died a bit and there is the first outbreak of nervous nail-biting.
Roma are playing with four midfielders up front but there is no sign of the cutting edge that has torn Serie A apart. Boro should enter the Italian league next year because judging by this we would win it.
Super Lee Clattermole and the Boat are making pancetta of the Roma midfield. Thier attack is rarely threatening and the Yak is looking very dangerous on the brk. They are terrified of him.
There are outbreaks of generous spirited spontaneous applause around the ground - a species thought so threatened it was expected to feature on David Attenborough's new series - and applause too for the kind of robust, no frills football that has prompted cat-calls and angry calls to the Legends even over the last month.
Hey, its getting cold. The adrenaline must be earing off. We need a goal or I'll have to put my hat on.
The noise levels have dropped now and you can hear the Italians again. Why aye bonny laad. There are lots of aggressive gestures and some songs that you can tell are full of that colourful latin invective.... "Lazio at home, watching Il Carbineri" I reckon.
36 minutes and they've got what looks like a dangerous freekick out on the right flank and I'm nervous. Easily cleared. What an old women I am getting in a flap over nothing.
It's all getting a bit scrappy out there and the greasy pitch isn't helping. There's a lot of free-kicks being given as well but so long as the ball is down their end who cares. Even the harshest critic isn't going to start whinging about pass completion and shots on target figures surely?
That's it. half time. One nowt. I'm off for a cup of official club crested soup. Who knows what flavour? It depends what's on the menu in hospitality. So long as it's warm.
Pagey got a cheer as he read out the other European scores and questioned their accuracy because he couldn't find Newcastle's.
The half time buzz in the press box was that dope shame Nemo lookalike Abel Xavier - an old boy of both clubs - was at the game and had visited both changing rooms before kick-off.
These little snippets get traded in the press room by the rat pack, swapped like football cards: got, got, got need...swap? I'll give you a McClaren quote about watching Roma three times in exchange. Done.
Pigbag, second half, let's do it.
I'm a bit worried now because at the break all the local media lads seemed a bit complacent. Easy. We're on top. Comfortable. That was the consensus. Even on the Legends pre-match show it was all 2-0, 3-0, 3-1 and the boookies were taking loads of cash on Boro. It worries me when Boro fans are too confident.
Now I'm nervous. Roma have started well and the ball is in our half a bit too much for my liking. There are some frantic clearances, sloppy passing is creeping in and they are winning the 50/50s.
Whooah! Twice Pogotetz has got caught dawdling over the ball in the box, the first time putting it behind for a needless corner then getting stuck between his legs with a Roma man baring down before just hoofing it away. Come on Mad Dog, get your act together.
But the lads from blocks 15, 16, 17 up in the North Stand are keeping the chanting going. Sporadic outbreaks of 'Proud to come from Teesside', 'Que Sera Sera', a load of those good old fashioned 'C'mon on Boro's'.
An operatic rendition of 'Super Lee Cattermole' woke the Italian fans up. Maybe they recognised the tune and responded with the next aria as some kind of Pavlovian response.
There was a scare on 62 minutes as Mendi conceded a free-kick with an unaccustomed sliding tackle and it was headed against the bar but the flag was up, then two minutes later a shot sizzled wide and suddenly it is squeaky bum time.
The official attendence gets passed along on a scrap of paper and it is a disappointing 25,345... but we can talk about that later. The ones who are here are creating a real buzz.
And the volume shoots up on 67 minutes as Mendi sparks a neat move and the keeper spills a low shot from Jimmy out wide.
71 minutes and I spot the first of the early leavers walking out. You have to question their sanity, bailing out of tense UEFA Cup match with a team they presumably have a passing interest narrowly ahead against Roma.
And the departure is brass necked. Not even skulking away sheepishly but proud at their little success at being the first away from the car park in North Ormesby. I really, really hope they get to hear the last three goals on the radio on the way home.
The tension spills over as Stewninho goes down in the Roma box after a decent attack and the Italians play on to trigger that wave of whistles, boos and foul mouthed fury that accompanies any hint of cynicism or unsporting behaviour.
It certainly fires the crowd up again and there is that operatic singing again as Boro's Three Thousand Tenors throw the ultimate musical insult at the Romans: "You're worse than Lazio "
The game is opening up now. Schwarz makes a good save at one end then Mendi skies one at the other and there is a massive collective groan.
82... we could do with another goal to take away. Viduka's on for the Yak and now would be a good time to continue his goalscoring form and continue his rehabilitation with the his detractors.
Three minutes left. Tension building. The crowd are furious as first Viduka has a penalty waved away then has a foul given against him in the box when he is the victim. That prompts the Boro fans to pipe up again.
Three minutes added. Come on, get the bloody whistle blown ref. They are on the attack again, a shot through a crowd but Schwarz has it covered. Get it blown.....YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!
Fantastic. A triumphantic Pigbag. We've done it. Boro have won ugly against the team with the best form in the whole of Europe. Bloody brilliant. Arrivaderci Roma. Trevi Fountain here we come!
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