Gael Force: Boro Batter Bairns In Tongue Twisting Culture Shocker
COLLECTORS' item: watching Boro live on the box with commentary in Scots Gaelic.
Ball-coise beò le geama càirdeal eadar an Eaglais Bhreac agus sgioba bho Fharpais an Lìog Shassain Middlesbrough! I think.
As a cosmopolitan, well travelled bunch most Teessiders will have had brushes with many of the major language groups. They may well have a working knowledge of some of the common tongues and a smattering of a few more esoteric far flung dialects, being able to order a beer and a parmo confidently across the world.
The economic expats of the Smoggy diasboro are everywhere making an honest dollar on every major civil engineering, military or energy enterprise around the planet and whatever the time-zone, climate or technical limitations have always managed to somehow tune-in to follow the exploits of mighty Boro, if neccessary in the local lingo .
Under gunfire in Afghanistan using military hardware to unscramble the cypher from Sky China or rigging up illicit aerials on Nigerian oil-rigs to find a flickering signal bounced back from deep space, Boro fans have always found a way to keep up with the action.
And thanks to overseas broadcast deals across hundreds of international satellite stations they have collectively watched Boro games accompanied by commentary in a bewildering phonetic kaleidoscope of obscure and alien languages: Afrikaans, Inuit, Tajik, Basque, Geordie and the guttural Wegie growl of "Slavenesque."
That may have prepared some of them for the surreal sonic culture shock of BBC Alba's Scots Gaelic coverage of mighty Boro's glorious trophy triumph North of the wall.
Boro played Falkirk in the "final" of the Ramsden Charity Challenge. The fast-growing Teesside pawn-brokers sponsor the Scottish lower league knockout competition - a sort of Johnstone's' McPaint Trophy - and part of the prize for Stirlingshire's finest was a home friendly with mighty Boro, who have Ramsden emblazoned across their chest.
Alba, the minority language cultural propaganda station in Scotland, a kind of tartan S4C, cover the Ramsden Cup and picked up the rights to the game as part of their TV deal.
It will have been a rating bonanza for them. Scots Gaelic has 58,000 speakers according to the last census, with most scattered in the crofting stronghold of the Highlands and Island. Not a natural football constituency. In fact, the sports pages on Alba's website leads with shinty, a violent kilt-wearing version of hockey.
Viewing figures will have had a massive spike on Sunday as Teessiders settled down at home and in pubs and clubs to get their first glimpse of Tony Mowbray's new look side. It has probably guaranteed their generous subsidy for next season. And we'll all be invited back. To play third division runners-up and Ramsden Cup winners Rangers. Result.
It was fantastic. Not just because of the 10 goal thriller and the prestigious trophy cliched with Boro's tiki-taka. It was a novel experience. Here's the highlights. And here's the best of the #borolive banter pulled together on storify.
Gaelic is a very strange tongue, a dead-pan mash-up of a Icelandic trawlerman with a trace of a Scots accent reading out the shipping forecast and a prepared hostage statement in Irish read out nervously at gunpoint to camera by a sweating Dutch captive.
It is a fascinating, hypnotic, mystical language. Then every so often the spell would be broken by an English word or name dropped in with an incongruous phonetic clunk.
"Shybhl mishnacourne aessweesh n'Charc ruare a Sassain Tony Mowbray".
And who could disagree?
"Smurfs lick A dhachaidh mere lappen càirdeal Gaerrish agus acoiusvere Middlesbrough," was the ecstatic verdict on Falkirk's shock early opener.
By then plenty of people had reached for the remote.
"I'm putting it on mute," tweeted Boro left-back Joe Bennett, watching at home after being left out of the big international showdown with a slight knee niggle.
"Half English, half Gaelic. Mostly mental," added another bemused tweeter.
Forget Radio Brownlee on the red button or Gordon Cox on Boro World, this impenetrable heavily accented sing-song consonant mangling was the best thing since Bernie. And it made more sense.
The programme was fronted by an intense man who appeared to be called Calum MacCliche'anneche, every inch a hospital radio commentator and presumably the only Gaelic speaking football pundit in the business. Boy was he excited. Although, while for us it was just a friendly away at a team who would probably struggle in the Conference, for him it was literally a cup final.
He did his best, bless him, but it must be hard work to stay so perky when you know the vast majority of the armchair audience don't understand a single word you are saying. And that's just in Scotland.
And dispiriting too for a committed Gaelic speaker to have to admit the basic flaw in the station's remit when it comes to those all important touchline interviews. None of the players or managers can speak a work of the lingo so all the set-piece chats are conducted begrudgingly in English.
And strangely, some of them were conducted immediately after goals so chunks of the action were missed.
There was a natural bias towards the Scots players on show - Stephen McManus was described in what appeared gushing, almost awestruck tones of reverence at times, like a Beckenbauer of the Glens - and the most used words, apart for 'gol' were 'Rangers' and 'Celtic.'
But overall, it wasn't bad. The action was covered in an unfussy manner, they knew the names of the players - easy with Falkirk as they all had 'Clark Eriksson' across their shoulders - and there were a couple of good interviews.
The half-time confessional with walking wounded Kevin Thomson was engaging and frank and may have clawed back some sympathy from a previously hostile Boro public, sections of who have branded him a glass-legged flop.
The injury-dogged midfielder admitted openly that his time at Boro has been disappointing, that he has fallen far short of his own standards of performance and has rarely been more than 60% fit. He even played 16 games with a broken leg in his first season.
He seemed genuinely upset in relating how having been a firm fans' favourite at Hibs and Rangers it "beats me up" that he hasn't got that relationship with the Riverside crowd too. He vowed to show the Riverside faithful exactly what he can do this term.
And to be fair, he started well. He had a good game at Falkirk in a solid looking midfield along with Grant Leadbitter and Oooooh Nicky Bailey.
It was a polished performance of promise, pace and penetration and a months supply of goals on last year's stingy rations - and, after a summer of strange pre-emptive gloom on Teesside, it was good there was a wide audience for the new look side's first outing.
Yes there were some clunky moments at the back but that is to be expected with a makeshift and positional challenge unit unlikely to see the light of day in a real game.
But there were a lot of boxes ticked: young guns like Adam Reach and Grangetown's Ginger Messi Luke Williams - or dinnsear Messi as Alba may have it - who scored a wonder goal played well enough to suggest they may feature more this year while there were goal scoring debuts for Barry Robson body double Leadbitter and Pampas playmaker Emmanuel Ledesma.
It was a top turnout from the Parmo Army too, travelling Teessiders making up a quarter of a 1,600 crowd - not bad for a foreign trip and more than many Championship sides brought here last term.
And of course, Boro picked up the prestigious glassware, the most coveted cross-border gong since the Anglo-Scottish Cup... and remember what a fuss we made of that one before the glory days unfolded.
In fact, it was bubbling Boro's second trophy it 24 hours.
On Saturday a reserves side won the Eric Powell Charity Cup, a new format that pits the champions of the North Riding and Durham County FA against each other. Boro won on penalties after a 1-1 draw away at a very expereinced and motivated Spennymoor side who have won the Northern League three years on the bounce and are no mugs.
Double winning shot-stopper Connor Ripley - "mac a Stuart Ripley, Ball-coise Shassain" - played in both.
So two trophies in the bag, international glory, goals galore and a new language experience ticked off. Next year away to Pobol Y Cwm?
****
THis is the An t-eadar-lìon remix of this week's Big Picture column with added seachd trì ball-coise sgioba
*****
GAZETTE man Phil Tallentire is in Portugal with Boro for the first team warm weather training camp and is doing a regular diary on the progress out on the pitch and also the human side of the squad as they relax around the hotel in Lagos. For all the japes, in-jokes and to see what Woody has for breakfast you can read his regular updates on the gazettelive website and follow him on twitter via @EGazetteSport
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Scanning through your last paragraph I felt a frisson of excitement at the prospect of watching our heroes play the elephant boys of First Bank FC with a commentary in Yoruba.... that is until I saw the reference to Portugal.
I found the Gaelic commentary an improvement on the usual suspects. The passing and movement was nice to watch albeit against modest opposition.
My most memorable foreign language Boro match was in 1997 while settling into my hotel room in Istanbul. I was flicking through the TV channels and happened upon some football. The match I was watching turned out to be the 6-1 win against Derby.
Great match I think. It was the live TV and twittering which made the practice match so special. It was like a " " - that it was. Up the Boro!
I can't believe Joe Bennett put it on mute! The commentary was fantastic, I sat and watched it with my son and we laughed for 90 minutes, it was great! I hope Falkirk invite us back next year and BBC Alba bring the cameras along. Class.
The bonus was seeing Boro score seven times, although I can see why Mogga is working on the defensive part of the game while the boys are on the Algarve!
I really enjoyed it. It was as good a pre-season performance as I can remember for years. I was there when we beat Norton 11-0 one year. The coverage was a bit amateur but when you of what the professionals bring to the party (as discussed on Euro pundits blog) it was refreshing.
Respect to Kevin Thomson for a very honest interview. It shows that injuries do get to the players. They are only human after all. And he played well.
The Scots Gaelic was a bit strange but I’ve spent quite a bit of time in Wales. Now that is one crazy lingo and it is everywhere on the signs looking like baboons have been let loose on the keyboard.
“Give us an Ll”...
Go up to Dingwall - "Inbhir Pheofharain" - (home of SPL giants, the "Staggies": Ross County) and you'll see the massive Tesco Extra with all signs in Gaelic as well as English. The same is true, but to a lesser extent in Inverness ("Inbhir nis") which is maybe 25 minutes to the south.
When you start to go over to the north west coast things are more Gaelic, for example in Ullapool ("Ulapul" - now that was easy!), but take the ferry over to the Outer Hebrides, even in the metropolis that is Stornoway ("Steornabhagh") and it's a way of life. The majority there have the Gaelic, and not only the old ones.
You'll see groups of youngsters chatting away excitedly in Gaelic but everyone (even the pensioners) now will be fully fluent in English, even if it isn't their first tongue.
It isn't quite the same as in some parts of Wales where learning the language is "cool" and part of their identity for a large section of the young now, and there isn't the same feeling that if you can't speak the language a whole range of "middle class jobs" may be out of reach - try getting a job in the BBC in Wales? - but there is a different feel up and over there to living in England.
I will be going up to the far north west in a few days. Can't wait. Apparently they've been having something of a drought up there for the past few months! A slower pace of life. Beautiful scenery. Very few Newcastle and Sunderland shirts (well - I can't recall having seen any, actually).
And yet, a few years ago when Boro and Portsmouth were still in the Premier League and a midweek game was shown on Sky, your correspondent found himself in possession of a bottle of Merlot in "The Mallard" (the pub actually on a platform in Dingwall railway station, and maybe 250 yards from the Ross County ground). A little vignette played out.
An elderly stranger walked in, Boro losing already and looking doomed (it was eventually a 4-0 defeat):
(Him - heavily accented Scots) WHAT'S THE SCORE?
(Me) One - nil to Portsmouth.
(Him) ACHH, WE HAVEN'T BEATEN POMPEY SINCE THE FORTIES.
(Me) What do you mean, "we"?
(Him) I'VE SUPPORTED THE BORO FOR AGES - LIVED IN SALTBURN FOR SOME YEARS WHILE WE BUILT ENRON.
(Me) I lived near Redcar...
(Him) ...BUT BACK TO THE FOOTBALL, WHAT ABOUT THESE YOUNGSTERS COMING THROUGH, I GET TO SEE SOME INFO ON BORO TV...
(A young friend of his, talking to others in the pub, and gesticulating to me) HEY, THERE'S A GADGIE HERE SUPPORTS MIDDLESBROUGH LIKE OLD BERT.
(Me) "Gadgie?" Now that's a Teesside word. You can't possibly use that word up here.
(Young lad) MUST HAVE BEEN BROUGHT HERE BY OLD BERT, THEN...
Four hundred miles by car to Ullapool - maybe 57 less to Dingwall - and yet a different universe.
New Boro chant for next Season to the tune of Vindaloo. "We're going to score four more than you". If realised it would get the Riverside packed very quickly!
Been away from the blog over the summer (sorry AV, no disrespect, I'm sure you've been churning out gems but for me football knocks off on the final day of the season for a few months) but I'm back in the Boro groove now after watching the Falkirk game (in Gaelic!).
Whisper it cautiously but I'm quite upbeat about the coming season. Mogga has spent a year offloading players and operating with one hand tied behind his back and waiting for the last few millstones on Prem money to shuffle off the wage bill. Even with all the problems we did well last year (home form wasn't much to shout about but we didn't lose too many) and finished ahead of where most had expected.
This year he has something like the kind of squad he would like. Not quite the calibre of players he would want maybe (he would rather be shopping in Harrods but at least this year its mid-price Hight Street outlets rather than car boots and pound shops) but it seems to me is he is getting the type of players he wants with the skill set and outlook to play the type of football he wants. He did well last year with a squad he wouldn't pick. With a squad he has picked we will see a real Mowbray team.
With a few more in (Carayol, a keeper, maybe a striker, Friend?) I'd be confident we would be a bit better this season and could play a more entertaining style at home and get a few more goals. Whether that will be enough when you consider the rest of the division and how much money is being spent, I don't know but I'm looking forward to finding out. I've recharged my batteries and I'm ready to go.
I am not too scared about the opposition. We Boro fans always build the other teams up to be giants and supermen but the experience of the past few years is that this is a poor division and even spending a lot of money (us, Leicester, Cardiff) or being made favourites counts for little.
The teams that came down were poor last year (worse than QPR and Wigan!) and have either lost players, got financial trouble or have new managers who don't know the league. The ones who challenged last year (Birmingham & Blackpool) have lost a bit of momentum. Some are chopping and changing and are an unknown (Leicester, Forest, Leeds.) The ones coming up aren't as strong as last year.
So for me, it will be about the same as last year, a scrum of generally average teams and if we can just raise our game by 10% on last year I see no reason why we can't at least be where we were last year and challenging for the play-offs and who knows, why not finish a place or two higher? So long as the fare at the Riverside is better and we have something to cheer I'll be happy enough.
UTB
Been reading PT's diaries in the pre season resort. A few words a couple of times a day...... nice work if you can get it!
A bit more detail about the training regime etc please!
Inlagos -
That thought had crossed my mind!
Forever -
You're getting me all nostalgic now, I had several great holidays in Lochinver about 50 miles north of Ullapool back in the late 80's. Beautiful countryside, lovely people.
**AV writes: Mr Tallentire has assured me he is working very hard indeed.
Go to bed, you lot. Especially those "working" at Portuguese training camps. You need to be up bright and early tomorrow, even if only tweeting the news about Woody's circuit training.
To be fair I usually mute the commentary when Boro are on telly no matter what language, English, Gaelish or gibberish. It stops me stoving the screen in with my boot. They are usually so patronising/insulting/plain wrong.
It was the first time I followed the game via your twitter AV (my kids have been teaching me 'LOL') and it was a good laugh, Some good Teesside banter. I might try and do it when the real games kick off for away games. Keep up good work.
**AV writes: Welcome aboard the virtual terrace of the #borolive twitter, Glad you enjoyed it. You should ALL be following me on twitter anyway (@untypicalboro) for news, views, #onthisboroday and all kinds of free extras. And yes, I know for some of our more mature readers this obscure technobabble may sound dangerous and difficult but it isn't. Really. Get a young person to show you.
Well Steve with Parnaby and Woodgate back we just want to know when you are putting your boots back on and coming back to play lol. Hopefully it will be a good season the only thing we need is a good goalie. Any news on that front?
**AV writes: I played in the Colin Cooper Charity game in both full-back slots for Coops side and had a stormer as our lot won 7-3 against a Mowbray managed side including the likes of Mendieta, Ugo and Alan Moore. I can still do a job. I issued a heart-felt post match 'come and get me plea.' Mogga said he "would think about it." I haven't heard but as far as I'm concerned the mooted move is not yet dead.
Brilliant piece, AV. Very funny. Very inventive. You have the great English football novel in you. I read all of last year´s Booker shortlisted novels, and few of them contained passages better than this article.
Just read Ben Fountain´s novel which is all the rage in America, Billy Lynn´s Long Half-Time Walk. Brilliant on the relationship between sport and business, very funny, deeply moving, and wonderfully satirical on the US´s dominant ideologies. Highly recommended, though it is only out here in hardback. I mention it because, good as it is, there is nothing in it that you have not achieved on a cumulative basis over the past few years. Go for it Ant. Greatness beckons.
**AV writes: Would anyone be interested in a book? I've been thinking about doing a greatest hit compilation of remixes from here and the big hits from the column with loads of free extra tracks and some set piece special features. Up for it?
A.V. Football books are normally boring, however you write a a book and it’s a must buy for BORO fans from every corner of the world
Been reading the Portugal snippets. Different from last time they were there. Southgate cancelled some training sessions we turned up for. The atmosphere in the camp was terrible with players not even sitting together. Glad to see Mogga is working on team spirit. Essential
And hats off to Mogga over the Friend transfer saga
AV what’s the score with McMahon. And Carayol on or off ? And did you see that little gem I asked you to watch playing centre-mid for the U.A.E in the Olympics?
**AV writes: No, didn't see UAE. Was watching England Lite get roughed up in the ressies atmosphere at Old Trafford. Strange beast.
Tony McMahon has passed a medical and agreed terms at Sheffield United and we expect him to sign tomorrow. We expect Friend to sign for Boro on Monday. And we believe everything is all but agreed with Carayol and expect him up on Tuesday or Wednesday to tie up the lose ends after Boro get back from Portugal.
"*AV writes: Would anyone be interested in a book? I've been thinking about doing a greatest hit compilation of remixes from here and the big hits from the column with loads of free extra tracks and some set piece special features. Up for it?"
No. However...if you put it in a kind of letterbocks format stolen nicely from Viz I could be swayed. And make sure there are plenty of pictures and less fancy dan rhetoric.
We didn't all go to Eton you know.
**AV writes: I was thinking of a cartoon strip: Bernie's Aboot in which our bequiffed hero lives next door to Keith Lamb and plays a series of practical jokes and pranks. Much fist shaking over the fence. Hilarity ensues. Any good?
Regular reader, never intended to do more than that, but I'm going to risk it and 'Leave a comment' (scary...).
I'm with Len Masterman. Write a book. For all the reasons he said. Plus you want to.
(Have you thought about something like Kickstarter? You could try and get some pledges going, see if all these so called followers of yours really do want to support you. I would).
**AV writes: Welcome aboard Jim. Lots of options on how to do it. Best get a move on though, it'll be that crucial stocking-filler season before we know it.
Book? Yep, good idea. The format will be the key - as I'm sure you know. But, go for it!
The possibilities around a compnion e-book for iPad types are exciting too.
Joe Bennett on his way to The Prem, do we think - now that 'your Friend & mine' is all but on board?
A sojourn about a group of football fans following the exploits of their local team's highs and lows. Of course you would need to capture the characters' idiosyncracies and their passion. I wonder where you could possibly get ideas for the eternal foam handed optimists, the pragmatists and the compulsive doom and gloom merchants.
Fever Pitch was really no more than a collection of chronologically arranged memoirs,with the added disadvantage that they were about Arsenal, at the time everybody´s least favourite team.
One of America´s best selling humorous writers, David Sedaris, produces books which are thinly linked, but finely honed essays which first appeared in magazines.They sell by the shed load.
So there are promising precedents for a collection of your pieces. Probably a good idea to do some original autobiographical material to top and tail it as well as a solid rewriting/re-editing job for linking pieces and the final polish. Put me down for four copies.
Hoyte to re-sign? Not great news. Neither is Tony Mc going to The Blades. That's a bit of a puzzle. I know they're 'sleeping giants' and all that - but can they really offer a better wage and better prospects than Boro (or, indeed, any of the other Championship sides that he might have done a deal with)?
Or has Mogga told the lad he's not wanted at any price?
**AV writes: I don't think there was a lot in it either way on money. It may be a dented pride thing, partly having being asked to take a big pay cut and partly knowing that with Parnaby on board he was definitely going to be second choice again. Maybe a move represents a fresh start.
There's a book out there that's just waiting to be written. Have you read "The Severed Alliance" by Johnny Rogan? It's the story of The Smiths, but it starts off in Ireland and the turn of the century and plots the history of Morrissey's ancestors against the background of the political and social situation and how they eventually moved to Manchester etc.
That got me thinking that it would be interesting if somebody did a similar thing with Steve Gibson and his rise to fame and fortune. It would have three story lines running parallel and intertwining. The story of the rise of the town Middlesbrough from a handful of farm houses to the biggest iron producers in the world and back to where we are now, the highs and lows of the football club Middlesbrough through almost extinction to a european final, and the story of the Gibson family from humble steel worker origins to self made millionaire.
Any one of those stories on it's own is worth a book, but put them all together and you've got yourself a best seller. They'd even make a TV Series out of it!
You do all the hard work and we'll discuss my royalties later, okay ?
If you write it, they will come,
Do it Do it Do it
"Would anyone be interested in a book?"
Yes - defo ! Maybe we could ask our fellow bloggers for list of chapters?
Welcome on board, Jim. I agree with you. AV, a new book is always appreciated (I read plenty - and all books on Boro most welcome. I have borrowed some old Boro books from Halifaxp, too. Thanks, mate!).
Steveh - a splendid idea. Certainly worth a try the ideas you put into. Fascinating to read more about Gibbo, for example.
Also, I am very happy if we get Friend on board on Monday. Then it's time for the arrival of a winger as Bristol Rovers manager Mark McGhee confirms winger Mustapha Carayol is on the verge of joining Middlesbrough. Great work, Mogga. I suppose he can play at RIGHT wing?
So far everything have gone to the plan - except the McMahon not re-signing is a surprise. But there is plenty of options for Mogga for RB cover. Hoyte looks the most likely at the moment.
Very happy to see Thomson making an impact now. I have rated him highly all the time but of course he needs to keep fit. Fingers crossed for a long, injury-free campaign for the lad.
AV, do you think we'll sign a striker if we keep all the current strikers McDonald including? We seem to have plenty of them or do you think we'll start to play three up-front next season?
Up the Boro!
So, telling Tony Mc he was going to be 2nd choice to a guy without any competitive footy - or even a club - for a year (and third choice if Hoyte returns) is, pretty well, Mogga telling him he wasn't wanted at any price.
That said, if Hoyte does re-sign then I can only hope it's as second choice to Parnaby - despite his lack of footy - at right back and less than that at left back or in midfield. As some wag on the Gazette site comments said, "Put Hoyte's draft contract on The Riverside byline - he never gets there".
Happy to see Friend on board, I'm thinking that if we have paid £250,000ish for him he's going to be a starter. Mogga could have obtained a freebie for the bench.
The question is, is he to replace Joe Bennett or are we to see 3.5.2. set up more often next season?
Doesn't it make a change to have the business done so early, well done to those involved.
The point is (Jarkko at 9.32am) that if McDonald should find himself another farm, we could use his wages to pay for two pigs, three sheep, a horse, a kangaroo and a whole family of ducks. Or even a few footballers who could make an impact on the coming season.
The sun came out several times on the journey to north west Scotland. Sadly it went in again several times as we passed through belts of drizzle and other belts of heavy rain. Still, 400 miles away from home and a change is as good as a rest, they say.
Up the Loch there be rain. I can see it from the window. And although the hills behind the house are clear, the ones in the other direction are wreathed in what my wife calls "lazy cloud" (ie it has stopped to rest, leaning on the hilltops). But tomorrow it could be bright!!
Yes agree with everyone AV time for a book. Maybe some translated in Gaelic for our friends further North .That would be novel.
A great buy in George Friend. I think he was captain for Donny and player of the year.
Just a keeper now and Carayol and I think we are done providing nobody leaves.
Dormo -
exactly. That's why I wondered if will see any incoming strikers as long as we have McDonald. Plenty of choice if we play only two up-front. But we could go with three strikers, too :)
Chief executive Neil Bausor today talked on the role Juninho is playing for Boro, saying: “We’ve got a great relationship with Juninho, he’s still very much involved with football in Brazil and still very much a friend and supporter of Middlesbrough Football Club."
I think the TLF, Gibson and Bausor should meet the Santos striker Neymar immediately after the Olympics. We could sign himand let him play for Santos until he want to come to Europe. And Juninho could convince his father in here.
Perhaps I should wake up - it's day time ...
Up the Boro!
A book is a capital idea AV, though what we don't need is yet another history of Teesside or even a history of the club.
What is worth exploring in depth is the three-way relationship that exists between the supporters, the club and the Gazette and you are in the unique position of being able to do it.
If you precis from '86 and start proper with the appointment of Robbo, then there is a very strong, simple narrative thrust for you - free-spending Boro assent to Euro final then steady decline before the Mogganaut triumphant return to Prem glory in May 2013 (there's your publishing target - get scribbling).
Using that narrative you can explore the changing dynamic between the three stakeholders by contrasting your blogs with official Boro pronouncements and post match interviews ('Magnificent' ad naseum) and cherry pick a half dozen of the best of the bloggees (they know who they are) to give the fans perspective.
You could then touch upon the glory days of the Bosco stand, the emergence of the Red Faction, hashtagBoroLive, please no singing letters etc etc.
I would dearly love to read any emails/transcripts of telephone calls from the club condemning you for your off-message blogs but appreciate that even if they exist, the publication may irrevocably damage your relationship with the powers that be. Oh well.
Shame that Tony Mac has gone, still, there's money to be made betting on him to score against us...
A book ?
Well there have already been several untypically text-book answers, some with a good reference and some quite novel. There's even been room for the dewy, no foamy eyed romantics for whom a title like "A Small Book in Europe" is sure to strike a note, or for history lovers the chicken runner's edition of "Lambs to the Slaughter" (is that "To Slaughter A Lamb...The Rise and Fall of the Count's Empire".?)
Whatever. I reckon you could make a socio-economic come political history and analysis of the modern game a good and entertaining read on all levels.
Go for it, you already have a few hundered guaranteed sales from your untypical following.
There would be a certain symmetry in publishng a book next May - depending on the league position then of course.
Or you could take a longer-term perspective: we are not only interested in the last few years, the "Glory Years" **
**Acually, many are, even on here!
You might say that the Premier League excursion was Boro's warm interglacial period. We are in an Ice Age where there have been some brief warm periods and some (very long and dark) ice advances. In the interglacial we had a few years in the sun when the deciduous trees proliferated and soft fruits could be grown.
Then the north Atlantic drift switched off, the climate cooled, animals moved south, the snow drifts built up and then settled in the highlands, and then the ice moved down into the plains. Even the fir trees couldn't survive as the soil was scoured out by the glaciers. No more broad leaves, no more soft fruit.
A glass half-full man might say that, all things being equal, the ice would be likely to retreat in maybe another 80,000 years and then we could enjoy another period in the sun. In that case, no need to rush to finish your book by next May.
He's back in the shed AV, with the telly masked off again showing only SKY sports news yellow ticker bar.
He says until he sees, Boro, proven, prolific and striker on there, then he is not coming out.
Im sick as a Cowboys Horse.... just had to throw out over a hundred Shoot and Match mags dating back late seventies early eighties. Had one with article about a fifteen year old kid called Michael Owen, flood damage. Also Boro stuff from late eighties and nineties
Moral of the story: pack important stuff high up DUMMY
According to a poll at mfc.co.uk most people think that Boro's squad is shaping up for the new campaign nicely:
- Looks better than last season 83.3%
- Not as good as last season 5.3%
- About the same as last season 11.4%
I agree. Especially so as we have a couple more players signing up this week like Carayol, Hoyte and perhaps a goalkeeper.
We have had a lot of problems on the right side of the midfield in recent years. We have played left-footed Robson there usually. So how many players we really have who can play there naturally? I think Haroun is the only one. Even though Carayol is right-footed he is usually playing at left wing at Bristol Rovers.
So this is the place where we need reinforcements most at the moment. And of course we can dream about a proven goal scoring striker - but can we really afford one in the current financial climate?
Up the Boro!
**AV writes: I'm not sure if the individuals will be 'better' but I think the squad will be more balanced and more able to play the way Mogga wants. Which is good.
Mrs Grove Hill wallah:
Sadly, with the state of Boro's finances at present, you'd better lay in big stocks of food and drink for him in that shed. I fear we won't see him out in the sunlight for quite a while.
Still, it might be interesting to see what Mogga does with the small amounts he has at his disposal. Where is George Friend going to play - centre-back, left-back? Will we find Bennett played as a left winger? The tension mounts....
Captains' tales?
Just wondered how many former captains we have in the side? Leadbitter at Ipswich, Friend at Donny, Thomson at Mogga's Hibernian, Arca at Boro, Bailey at Charlton & Boro and - if I remember correctly - McManus at Celtic & Boro. I don't know if Woodgate has captained any side but McDonald has done so occasionally.
So we should have enough leaders and experience on the pitch as well. And there is still possibility to sign Bates after he recovers. And of course Mogga was a captain in 1986.
Up the Boro!
Sorry, I've got to say it - this is just becoming an extended version of "pseuds corner". I'll get my coat - and hard hat and flack jacket.
Back after a break to see that macca is gone and Hoyte may be staying. Bizarre and not good news especially if Hoyte starts.
Is it true Bennett is leaving?
Thank heavens Woodie and Parnaby have come back. Lets hope no more of our own leave, hate to be singing 'None of our own' as a team full of retreads runs out.
Just a few weeks until kick off. Cant wait
Comrades, I want to invite comrade Peaeye to some rigorous self-criticism. His right-wing and elitist tendencies, shame on all, see he reads the capitalist revisionist "Private Eye" publication.
If Comrade Peaeye, admit mistakes, his way, we will deal with sympathy. He will be allowed to short-term return after re-education through the work of a collective farm.
**AV writes: Now that is the way to deal with faint-hearts among the supporters cadre: re-education camps. Imagine hours of waterboarding and 24 hour tape loops of Radio Brownlee zealotry. You'd soon sign away your soul. #heartsandminds
Mogga must read these pages as he answers our calls regularly. He has now taken a winger on trial for the Pools game.
Holland international winger Romeo Castelen is a 29-year-old, who has ten caps for his country, has previously played for Dutch sides Den Haag and Feyenoord and Bundesliga outfit Hamburg.
Is he a right-winger if Carayol is a left-winger? Politically the latter fits better in the republic of Teesside me thinks. Boro have a long tradition of lefties.
Up the Boro
**AV writes: Boro tried to buy Castelen in the Summer of 2007 when he was at Feyenoord. Southgate was looking to replace Viduka and had a £4m bid rejected. Also spoke to Mustafa Riga at Valencia before signing Tuncay instead. Castelen went to Hamburg instead. I might be wrong on this but I half-remember he was linked with West Brom when Mogga was there too.
Peaeye -
The BJ stand always had a pseuds corner so no surprise to have the same inluence here. To counter that we have the growing influence of twitter with it's 140 character limit - is that correct?
It just depends whether you want good, rounded and debated insults or instant abuse.
I have tried twitter and just cant be bothered with it. A colleague tries to get me onto linkedln and facebook but I am having none of it. In the same way I dont really like communicating by email, I prefer telephone or even better face to face communication so you can sense the nuances.
5 million years to evolve and we are turning to virtual grunting.
AV said: "I'm not sure if the individuals will be 'better' but I think the squad will be more balanced and more able to play the way Mogga wants. Which is good."
I agree with that.
It's no real surprise that Hoyte looks like being retained over McMahon either. Of the two, Mowbray has always favoured Hoyte. Of course, it could just be that both were offered similar terms but Hoyte hasn't had any other offers. Personally I don't think there's a great between them in terms of ability - they're both average Chanpionship full-backs, albeit with slightly different skill sets - and I'm quite happy with Hoyte. I suspect Parnaby will be first choice anyway.
On an unrelated note, I never thought Alistair Brownlee would be representing Great Britain in the Olympics... http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/olympics/14221351
Comrade Geordie la Forge -
As I seem to recall history the pseuds linked hands with the proles to overthrow the establishment. They then got their come uppance as being too trendy and free thinking. A new establishment was formed and the cycle renewed.
So is Peaeye right wing or left wing? Discuss.
**AV writes: I don't think we should pry into posters' politics. Anyone that wants to volunteer such information will. Anyone that doesn't, well, it is a football blog. All this phoney war navel gazing and stir-crazy musing... still, back to work soon.
Some solidarity for officials in sport. I am must admit I am sick of the abuse they get.
Following some very close decisions I have offered my services as a line official for womens beach volleyball. I am willing to stand some five yards away from the action despite my dislike of sand.
Unselfish is the way I would describe my offer.
Castelen would be a good signing for Boro if fit. But he has a terrible injury record. He only played 17 games for Hamburg in 5 seasons due to injury.
Is this the longest close season of all time? It certainly feels like it.
**AV writes: I remember people raving about him when we last tried to sign him in 2007 when he was a Dutch international and hot property. I really wouldn't have a clue what his current status was. I know Mogga was keen at West Brom but even that is three years ago now. If fit - and if cheap - he may be an asset. We'll see.
Ian Gill -
I trust you keep your eyes off the sand there. If it's a women's beach volleyball match.
Steveh -
same thoughts. Castelen could be a talented player but his injury record is not very confident. As you said he played 17 first team games and 5 second team matches at Hamburg in 5 years. Can we do better with our Rockcliffe staff as we did with Woody during his first stay?
But he seemed quick and impressive last night - at least according to Craig Hignett. And the Dutch boy is a right winger.
Up the Boro!
AV
I wasnt intending to pry into others political views, merely musing as I await the start of the action.
It is still a couple of weeks until the real action starts, the close season does drag and even the weather is contriving to make the summer dull.
Pseudos useful idiots help our movement
With guidance of our great helmsman Steve Gibson, will take great leap forward.
World will soon know, the northeast is red.
Live Riverside revolution for a long time!
**AV writes: Good stuff. Perhaps a pseudo could trim this Maoist sloganising into a haiku?
Is the close season dragging, not with the Olympics on surely?
What we will have next season is a stronger squad I think, last year Boro's form dipped as a result of injuries to Bailey, Williams and Bates. It looks to me like Mogga has built a squad capable of withstanding injuries to key players and if Tommo stays and keeps fit that wil be like signing a new player!
We've now got decent cover and good players in every position which bodes well, as always I'm looking forward to the new season...once the Olympics have finished that is!
Ian Gill -
I agree there has always been a pseuds corner but there is a clue in the name and that is what prompted me to post. It is sometimes not just confined to the corner but often extends well up to the half way line...that's just my opinion anyway.
AV - For sure we fans must all be excited with the progress Tony has made and tThe signings he has made, most free signings. Excellent.
The two Brazilians that are on trial excite me as they can ensure ball retention. Many fans did not appreciate Dorivas contribution. He was past his best when we got him, but still a class act. If these guys can come in and do the type of job Doriva did then
wow, thanks little fella, love you.
The only downside was McMahon's loss - and to 90% of the Boro fans McMahon is a loss. Whereas 90% of Boro fans would have been happy for Hoyte to move on. It was clear to us all that Mobray did not rate young Tony (Shame.) Unlike Cattermole, Morrison and Turnbull witch was for most Boro fans unforgivable, we can except the boy was not Tony’s cup of tea and move on
Only two elements short now: an experienced goalkeeper to challenge Steel and a target man that it seems Tony craves as essential for this league. Tony is doing a great job building his squad.
With so many good experienced players looking for places and six to eight kids pushing for places rotation will become the norm with Tony having options all over the park now. With this in mind I hope McDonald and McManus don’t spoil the dressing room when they realize they are not going to be regulars
Anyway Tony has done so well to date and the season ahead looks so exciting.
Peaeye -
At least we know that if Hoyte joins pseuds corner it wont get beyond the halfway line.
On to football and we seem to be active in the transfer market. AV, any hints on how much more activity there is?
I notice that Woodie and Bennett are not featuring, how injured are they? Is Woodie being kept wrapped in cotton wool?
**AV writes: They are both training, running and riding but have not done contact work. They are not far away. Think a keep will be comning in and - after one departure - possibly a striker too.
I will make my traditional "two players per a position" test (4-4-2 presuming)on Boro:
GK: Steele, Another
LB: Bennett & Friend
CB: Rhys W & McManus
CB: Woodgate & Hines
RB: Parnaby & Hoyte (still depending)
LM: Carayol & Arca
DM: Thomson & Bailey (also Smallwood)
AM: Leadbitter & Zemmama (also Bailey or Ledesma)
RM: Haroun & Another
S: Jutkiewicz (inj.) & Ledesma
S: Emnes & McDonald
Subs: Main, Luke W, Park, Halliday, Smallwood, Reach, Gibson, Ripley, etc.
So the side looks exciting and attacking minded - a squad Mogga is famous for: Ledesma, Carayol, Haroun, Zemmama, Emnes, etc. And experienced and strong: Woodgate, Thomson, Bailey, Leadbitter, Rhys W, etc. Steele could still improve and be a future England international.
The squad is shaping nicely. We still need a right winger, a reserve goalkeeper (Leutwiler, anyone?), though. And to get Grove Hill wallah out of the dark shed, we can dream about a WOW signing at the striking department now we missed on Roque Santa Cruz (?) from Man City...
The Riverside will be a entertaining place to be in 2012/13 season. Up the Boro!
I think a book would be great, you could make it a collection of short stories from all of your contributors. If we all give half a page of our first Boro match and half a page of our most heart wrenching disappointment ( we have many to choose from) and then you clean it up in your wordsmith ways it should be quite a historic collection of broken dreams heartache and lost ideals, like a classic Balzac.
Start a separate blog and I will certainly give you my first and my worst Boro encounter.
UTB " Up" being a bit of a hope.
Jarkko -
Plenty of activity in the transfer market and the squad is shaping up nicely. I still think we will get promotion season after next with a top half finish coming up.
Last season we had a largely unchanged squad who finished the previous season like a train, this time around we have rejigged the squad. It will take time to settle but maybe it will come together quickly and as you say we willbe in for some excitment at the Riverside.
Shortly AV will be asking for predictions, I was fairly bullish this time last year, slightly more cautious this time purely based on settling the squad down. If that happens quickly then we may be in for a treat.
By the river's side
a mighty force assembles;
the colour of blood...
AV are we now running with the new deluxe engine package for the site that we have been anxiously waiting for since way back in mid season when we had to constantly hit the review button to see "missing" posts?
**AV writes: I think it is being 'rolled out' as we speak. Not sure when the Gazette goes live. Must be soon.
Lots of talk on bringing in goalkeepers. I've a feeling some team has made a serious enquiry about Steele?
Redcar Red -
Lets hope the new site is designed with at least nod in our direction. My work is heavily dependent on websites and many times a new version comes along it makes things more difficult.
The major concern I have is that it will be even more heavily focussed on revenue generation and we will end up with bite nibble size reading so that you have to go through multiple pages to read an article accompanied by multiple ads. We will probably have to turn on the 'allow text' option instead of pop ups.
As the dreary wait for the season to start at leats there is tons of other sports to enjoy and congrats are due to all the medalists. It is fitting that both football teams go out at the quarter final stages with a with a bit of a whimper, wouldnt seem right otherwise.
Lets hope for a gold medal for Mr Brownlee tomorrow in the Triathalon.