Coveted "Bloggies" Winners Revealed
DICKY bows ahoy. It's the awards season so prepare for drunken bitching and bitter blasts at the silverware statements of the bleeding obvious. How can Wayne Rooney be young player of the year when he looks 43? How Chris Hughton be Championship manager of the year? He guided the pre-season favourites and a top flight team with twice the wage budget of the rest of the league added together to the title while Nigel Pearson took promoted Leicester to the play-offs on a shoestring? Boo. Swizz.
Anyway, here's the results of the Untypical Boro Awards, the so-called "Bloggies," ceremony held in the swanky Billy Woof Suite in the Bosco Jankovic Stand with the gongs handed out by this season's matchday sensation Mosso Cloudfiles.
First the prestige awards:
The John Eustace Memorial Engraved Stopwatch For Cameo Loan Appearances: Caleb Folan... an underwealming arrival followed by an impeccable anonymous hour of invisibility before a barely noticed slinking off home.
The Evel Knievel/Matthew Bates Golden Crutches (in association with BUPA) Award For Persistent Permacrockry: Chris Riggott, shares flawed Derby DNA with Malcolm Christie and when asked "best friend at club?" in programme profile answered: "the physio". Currently helping compile sports injuries textbook.
The Mohammed Shawky Salver (in association with Garmin satellite location devices) Tribute To Those Lost In the Hurworth Black Hole: Joint award to missing midfielder Josh Walker and dreadlocked Dutch dead man walking Marvin Emnes.
The Ben Watson "One That Got Away" Silver Dodged Bullet Award: Gary Caldwell, that the club were ready to invest ã8m in a plodding serial red cardee and own goal merchant is simply staggering.
The Gordon Brown/Keith Lamb Golden Foot In Mouth Marketing Plate: Boro's mooted Christmas "buy a half season ticket and if we win the next four games (ha!) we'll give you your money back" deal... an inspired long-odds strategy to annoy existing fans, raise the eyebrows of bookies and Football League chiefs and still only attract 14 customers.
The other awards:
Player Of The Year: Barry Robson... inspiration building block for a brighter future
Young Player Of The Year: Rhys Williams... put in a shift all season despite being square-pegged
Manager of the Year: Colin Cooper... unbeaten record.
Signing Of The Season: Barry Robson... the robotic ticking heart-beat of next year's promotion winning side.
Worst Signing Of The Season: Sean St Ledger... an error strewn ã100,000 a game nightmare and a disaster narrowly averted.
Most Disappointing Player: Dave Kitson, started really well and impressed with articulate honesty ... then just gave up.
Most Welcome Exit: Alves... it would have been Mido but he's coming back.
Most Anonymous Loan: Caleb Folan... see above.
Most Missed Player: Robert Huth, the Berlin Wall was finally showing his international quality - and bringing the best out of Wheater.
Most Injured Player: Chris Riggott.... see above.
Most Memorable Moment: The Trophy Virgins banner being unveiled and the Geordie whale floundering in the segregation keep net.
Best Goal: Adam Johnson v Scunthorpe (a)... not just the superb 22 yard angled lob on the volley but the visionary just time diagonal ball into his path from Gary O'Neill.
Best Home Performance: Newcastle... a real show of fighting spirit against a tough team by a well balance and highly motivated side.
Worst Home Performance: Watford... a third successive home defeat and a second on the bounce against bottom six sides where Boro looked clueless and toothless when faced with a team who came to defend. For me, the game that got Southgate sacked.
Best Away Performance: QPR... a 5-1 win is always nice but this had pace, penetration, steel, skill, a genuine goal threat, as comprehensive as they come. What could possibly stop us now?
Worst Away Performance: Blackpool... a win would've put Boro right back in it but they missed a string of chances - including a penalty - against ten men and got caught cold. All the old flaws were there.
Best Away Atmosphere: Scunthorpe away... early optimism, small ground, cheap, warm night, short trip, a third of the crowd were Boro, very noisy for 90 minutes, we won... this Championship lark seemed fantastic and easy back then.
Best Home Atmosphere: Newcastle... the Trophy Virgins banter trump card and the spluttering humourless aftermath in the away stand and the press box were hilarious.
Best Opposition Display: Blackpool at the Riverside... dismantled Boro in a ruthless smash and grab display.
Best Opposition Player: Youssouf Mulumbu (West Brom)... twice monstered Boro's midfield with an awesome physical ball winning presence and tore them open with some simple but effective passing
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: The devastating 3-0 home defeat to Blackpool and realising that the 5-1 win at QPR was a freak and a false dawn and that Boro were still miles behind the play-off rivals.
Biggest PR Own Goal: The "four wins on the bounce and we'll give you your money back" mess... see above.
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: With an added goal-getter, automatic promotion; without, the play-offs.
Some self-referential personal ones:
Best Blog Thread of the Year: The 500+ post deadline day jumble of digressions, nostalgia and drunken rambling was good but I liked "Nostradamus was Boro fan" exclusive too.
Favourite Poster: The posters on here are like children, you have to love them all equally. Even the ugly ones.
Best Pre-match Scran: Swansea (an unbelievable cottage pie, just pipping Boro who had three of the next four places)
Worst Pre-match Scran: Leicester. Not a scrap. Not even a biscuit. Or a bag of Walkers crisps. Not even a burger kiosk voucher (as at Peterborough). Not even a family tin of Peek Freen biscuits (as at Blackpool). Shocking.
Best Press Conference: Ian Holloway after Riverside game: "I'm a bit like Blackpool, we both look better after a dark... football directors should direct, they should raise money and shut up... my wife will be happy we won because I am a miserable sod over breakfast if we don't"
Your turn... just cut and paste, fill it out and post it up. If I get time later in the week I'll crunch the numbers and stick up the results. Over to you.
Player Of The Year:
Young Player Of The Year:
Manager of the Year:
Signing Of The Season:
Worst Signing Of The Season:
Most Disappointing Player:
Most Anonymous Loan:
Most Missed Player:
Most Injured Player:
Most Memorable Moment:
Best Goal:
Best Home Performance:
Worst Home Performance:
Best Away Performance:
Worst Away Performance:
Best Home Atmosphere:
Best Opposition Display:
Best Opposition Player:
Biggest Kick In The Teeth:
Biggest PR Own Goal:
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August:
Best Blog thread:
Favourite poster:
Comments:
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AV
Can we work out our second and third choices, add them together and call them the joint winner?
**AV writes: I think you'll find no one has a mandate to win these awards. No matter how the voting goes I might just exercise my moral right to keep the awards myself. In the national interest of course.
Very good AV, enjoy the number crunching, you could be very busy.
Player Of The Year: My Barry
Young Player Of The Year: Adam Johnson, if not allowed Rhys Williams
Manager of the Year: Boro GS2, overall Chimpship I Holloway
Signing Of The Season: My Barry
Worst Signing Of The Season: Lee Miller
Most Disappointing Player: too many, if pushed go for Digard
Most Anonymous Loan: did Caleb Folan play? Boom boom
Most Missed Player: Juninho, but this season Huth
Most Injured Player: Bates
Most Memorable Moment: Darren Moore blocking a cross, ball ricochet between his tree trunk legs, but he couldnâÂÂt see it and turned to and fro looking for it. Like a massive chicken laying an egg.
Best Goal: My Barry against the toons
Best Home Performance: Scunthorpe, it was my birthday
Worst Home Performance: reels off list, but settles on Watford
Best Away Performance: Preston
Worst Away Performance: Newcastle
Best Home Atmosphere: Newcastle
Best Opposition Display: Swansea
Best Opposition Player: Darren Pratley
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: Coventry 2-2, bubble burst!
Biggest PR Own Goal: Mackem Gate
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: 10th, too much uncertainty in the Starting XI
Best Blog thread: loads, but deadline day was excellent as was Nostradamus, was their an Engineering works with no responses too?
Favourite poster: that one of the tennis player, itching her bum, or Scoredraw itching his bum
Player Of The Year: Barry âÂÂRobbocopâ Robson
Young Player Of The Year: Rhys Williams
Manager of the Year: Colin Cooper
Signing Of The Season: Barry Robson
Worst Signing Of The Season: Lee Miller
Most Disappointing Player: Isaiah Osbourne
Most Anonymous Loan: Marcus Bent
Most Missed Player: Robert Huth
Most Injured Player: Jeremie Aliadiere
Most Memorable Moment: Trophy Virgins
Best Goal: Adam JohnsonâÂÂs free kick, brilliant opportunism
Best Home Performance: The Tea Ladies
Worst Home Performance: About 90% of them
Best Away Performance: QPR
Worst Away Performance: West Brom
Best Home Atmosphere: Newcastle
Best Opposition Display: Blackpool
Best Opposition Player: Graham Dorrans
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: Southgate, sacking after a win
Biggest PR Own Goal: Waiting until the last game of the season to give concessions
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: Play offs
Best Blog thread: The 500
Favourite poster: All the ones who didnâÂÂt take it too seriously and made me laugh.
Player Of The Year: Johnson
Young Player Of The Year: The ginger kid - at least he tried
Manager of the Year: Thats easy - Southgate
Signing Of The Season: Mick Mc
Worst Signing Of The Season: St Ledger
Most Disappointing Player: ONeill (or Mido)
Most Anonymous Loan: Folan (easy)
Most Missed Player: Boateng???
Most Injured Player: McDonald
Most Memorable Moment: That banner - says it all really
Best Goal: Lita v Reading
Best Home Performance: Dunno
Worst Home Performance: Several - Plymouth Blackpool Watford etc Cardiff
Best Away Performance: Sheff Wed
Worst Away Performance: Blackpool
Best Home Atmosphere: Jordy
Best Opposition Display: Blackpool took the mick
Best Opposition Player: Adam?
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: Blackpool or Cardiff
Biggest PR Own Goal: If we win next 3 games you get in for nowt (or Strachans "I was bored"
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: POs
Best Blog thread: Southgate sacking
Favourite poster: Too many but I will go for Eddy Normal or Johndd - or Boro in Sheff or Nunth or the lads down under or in the states - all make a contribution - Doyle I miss ya!!!
Well who would have thunk it?? Johnson in cappello's 30......Downing no where to be seen!!! So i would imagine that full international clause in Johnsons contract will be triggered and another million will be swelling the Boro transfer war chest!!!
Just goes to show....all those years we played Downing ahead of Johnson. I bet Downing is spitting blood as i speak!
Player Of The Year: Barry Robson
Young Player Of The Year: Adam Johnson â still top scorer, despite leaving in January; gave us most entertainment in a âÂÂBoring, Plod Plodâ season; raised a decent fee when he went with dignity; will give the DiasBoro a reason for interest in Eng-er-lund in South Africa.
Manager of the Year: For Boro? The option that should have appeared on the other election ballot paper â None Of The Above. The Championship â Chris Hughton. Elsewhere in UK â Eddie Howe of Bournemouth. Europe â The Ex at Twente Enschede
Signing Of The Season: Barry Robson
Worst Signing Of The Season: In a vintage season for barrel scraping dregs, the dernier cru is Lee Miller, the mistake with a two year contract.
Most Disappointing Player: David Wheater for a bad dose of âÂÂsecond season syndromeâ after The Berlin Wall moved on.
Most Anonymous Loan: Forlorn, not Forlan, Folan
Most Missed Player: Adam Johnson
Most Injured Player: Whilst I could have gone for either of the Femmer Frenchies, the award goes to FF Part Deux, Didier Digard for adding extra Gallic piquancy to being Crockliffed at Boro by suddenly becoming an ever present at Nice when he went on loan.
Most Memorable Moment: Learning of the Southgate sacking in the aftermath of the home win against Derby. An object lesson in how to make the right decision but ruin it â and BoroâÂÂs season (again) â by getting the timing and means so badly wrong. Thanks Gibbo.
Best Goal: Some off-beat choices from those who otherwise disappointed came close â Marvin Emnesâ thumping drive at Swansea; KitsonâÂÂs classic centre forwardâÂÂs header at Peterborough but for me it has to be JohnnoâÂÂs game clincher away at Hillsborough.
Best Home Performance: The Barcodes - for showing what could have been possible for the rest of a dreadful season.
Worst Home Performance: The Barcodes - for showing what could have been possible for the rest of a dreadful season.
Best Away Performance: QPR
Worst Away Performance: There are too many to choose from. IâÂÂm going to change the rules and do the equivalent of the Oscars âÂÂLifetime Achievement Awardâ and nominate the accumulated away performances after QPR that achieved a uniform standard of âÂÂGroundhog Dayâ awfulness.
Best Home Atmosphere: I wasnâÂÂt there often enough to comment fairly, but youâÂÂd hazard a guess that the eventual winner will be The Barcodes.
Best Opposition Display: I donâÂÂt think that there was that much that outstanding in this quality and entertainment free league, so IâÂÂm going to go for a quirky one and add âÂÂin a Boro winâ to the category title. The Award goes to a Ross Wallace inspired Preston who played Boro off the park at The Riverside and still came away losing two nil.
Best Opposition Player: West BromâÂÂs âÂÂBoro Rejectâ - Dorrans
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: As a regular attender â at great cost in bunce and time â of away games I am going to cite the run of away performances after QPR again for rewarding my stupid perseverance â and that of a totally awesome travelling Parmo Army - with repeated kicks in the teeth.
Biggest PR Own Goal: In retrospect, GibboâÂÂs Blind Faith Radio Brownlee pitch in the aftermath of relegation that turned out to be such a blind alley.
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: I am on record as saying that, despite my misgivings about Southgate still being around and with the squad Boro had at that time that the play offs were eminently achievable and should have been achieved. That assessment held â for me â almost right through the season. That Boro failed â miserably - to live up to what should have been possible is the biggest indictment on this dreadful season.
Best Blog thread: The 500 post monster.
Favourite poster: I know what you mean about âÂÂus kidsâÂÂ! IâÂÂm going to take the same tack and include you in too, Dad!
That weâÂÂve stuck in like âÂÂmenâ and âÂÂplayed like a teamâ through thin and thinner â not just this season but last too â and gone from strength to influential strength on âÂÂUntypicalâÂÂ, adding and contributing to new and different ways of airing our obsession, should stand as both object lesson and not so mute accusation to both MFC and Boro.
THE Blogger and all THE Posters win the Bloggie!
Walcott, Huddleston, Wright-Phillips, Lennon, Barry and no place for DOWNING!
I hope England get thumped. In fact I am putting a 'heeby jeeby' curse on them like I did with Gordon when he dropped Tony McMahon.
Beware Mr Capello this curse works .... as you will find out. I always thought you looked like Tommy Cooper anyway you four eyed Italian ..... manager.
Scoredraw Managers Index (marks out of 100)
Capello 1
Ancelloti 94
Benitez 2
Hodgson 98
Mouhrhino 99
Ferguson 666
Redknapp 50
Moyes 95
Wenger 96
Fat Sam Ugly Football -50
Player Of The Year: Johnson
Young Player Of The Year:It should have been Franksy
Manager of the Year:McClaren
Signing Of The Season: Barry Robson
Worst Signing Of The Season:Scott Mcdonald,we need goals now not another sicknote
Most Disappointing Player:St.Ledge
Most Anonymous Loan:That midfeilder from Villa
Most Missed Player:Johnson/Tuncay
Most Injured Player:Scott Mcdonald
Most Memorable Moment:Southgates sacking
Best Goal:Reading away-Lita picked the ball up on the halfway line after the break and beat Darren O'Dea and Ivar Ingimarsson before slotting home.
Best Home Performance:Newcastle
Worst Home Performance:QPR, two pens won it for us but the footy on show was dross!
Best Away Performance:Reading
Worst Away Performance: Bristol City, we let them off the hook at the last minute.
Best Home Atmosphere:Newcastle
Best Opposition Display:west brom
Best Opposition Player:Nolan
Biggest Kick In The Teeth:The season has been one big dental nightmare
Biggest PR Own Goal:Mido playing for what looked like a grand a match
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August:Prem action
Best Blog thread:Season Over? Cardiff Again!
Favourite poster:Can you here me Robin Mitton?
Player Of The Year: McManus
Young Player Of The Year: Anthony 'Bobby Dazzler' McMahon
Manager of the Year: Gordon - but I do like Holloway - 'sweet' for a wollyback.
Signing Of The Season: Robson
Worst Signing Of The Season: St Ledger (phew close one !)
Most Disappointing Player: Kitson
Most Anonymous Loan: Folan
Most Missed Player: Downing (I miss Festa too)
Most Injured Player: McDonald (tried too hard)
Most Memorable Moment: "Typical Germans" - loved it.
Best Goal: Any one of 5 from Robson's
Best Home Performance: Newcastle
Worst Home Performance: half of them
Best Away Performance: QPR
Worst Away Performance: WBA
Best Home Atmosphere: Newcastle
Best Opposition Display: WBA
Best Opposition Player:Chris Burke
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: Blackpool
Biggest PR Own Goal: None - too much made of 'PR'
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: Promotion
Best Blog thread: Hard to say which was best
Favourite poster: The more belligerent the better (possibly the one that almost 'threatened' Anthony for not printing his first post)
**AV writes: I think you'll find no one has a mandate to win these awards. No matter how the voting goes I might just exercise my moral right to keep the awards myself.
Another unelected, arrogant, know it all dictating to us! Do you call this a democracy? Pah!
Player of The Year: Barry Robson â the type of player we have been missing for seasons and the lack of which got us relegated. If only we could have had him and kept Jinky
Young Player of The Year: Rhys Williams
Manager of the Year: No one at this club.
Signing Of The Season: Barry Robson followed by Mosso
Worst Signing Of The Season: Folan
Most Disappointing Player: Yeates, just didnâÂÂt deliver.
Most Anonymous Loan: Folan
Most Missed Player: Huth and Jinky
Most Injured Player: Riggott
Most Memorable Moment: RobsonâÂÂs goal against Toon
Best Goal: RobsonâÂÂs goal against Toon
Best Home Performance: Toon
Worst Home Performance: Watford
Best Away Performance: QPR
Worst Away Performance: Barnsley away, we just gave up
Best Home Atmosphere: Toon
Best Opposition Display: Blackpool, clinical in the extreme
Best Opposition Player: Mulumbu, storming performance at the Riverside
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: The clear lack of addressing the issues in the summer transfer window.
Biggest PR Own Goal: Timing of Gates dismissal but difficult to get the timing right.
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: What I said at the time. Automatic promotion was unlikely but play offs possible but would need to strengthen the squad to have a real impact.
Best Blog thread: The 500 plus.
Favourite poster: GHW must get a mention for his ability to be in the right place and collect Mercs and his stories. John Powls for shouldering Boro Banter almost on his own. Anlov for his unfailing love for Southgate.
Spookie!
The play offs have the orange seeing off the reds before meeting with the blues before sorting out the premiership
It doesnt matter. I keep having this reccuring nightmare that we hired a Manager and Coaches and they in their football wisdom decided we couldnt play Downing and Johnson in the same team, we ended up with one of the worst scoring records ever in the premiership because we had no creative players and depended on players like Gary Oneil a John Mahoney headless chicken type to play right wing, and constantly go square and back and In the end we got relegated.
Even worse, we got to second spot in a league Joe Waltons would have done ok in years ago, fired the manager and sold the best four players. We were up against a team called Doncaster who were a non league team when we where signing world cup players,just a few years before.
I keep telling some friends about this nightmare but they think I need to talk to someone because obviously this is impossible. It would be like telling people you jumped on the back of the loch Ness Monster and rode him around.
Player Of The Year: Johnson
Young Player Of The Year: Johnson
Manager of the Year: All Dire
Signing Of The Season: Robson
Worst Signing Of The Season: St Ledger
Most Disappointing Player: ONeil
Most Anonymous Loan: Folan
Most Missed Player: Johnson
Most Injured Player: Riggott
Most Memorable Moment: Trophy Virgins
Best Goal: Emnes V Swansea
Best Home Performance: Newcastle
Worst Home Performance: Cardiff
Best Away Performance: Sheff Wed
Worst Away Performance: Blackpool
Best Home Atmosphere: Newcastle
Best Opposition Display: West Brom
Best Opposition Player: Maynard at Ashton Gate was a constant threat.
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: Blackpool
Biggest PR Own Goal: End of last season - Stockton Mackems
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: Champions (Still had Johnson, Huth, and Tuncay)
Best Blog thread: Deadline Day Drama... Live!
Favourite poster: Ian Gill or Redcar Red, plus that one who got the 35,000 post!!
It gives me no satisfaction that I have been predicting for months that Downing would not make it to SA. The press have never liked him. His style is selfless - he makes telling passes which often lead to his team scoring, but this doesn't show in the 'goals scored' box.
Walcott, SWP, Joe Cole have been largely substitutes for their clubs. Lennon has only played a couple of games this year and Johnston is erratic - brilliant one minute, poor the next. Downing is more consistent. I reckon this will signal the end of his England days along with the likes of Jenas, Bentley, Dyer etc.
Keep your head up Stewie
John, Aus
Player Of The Year: Jose Enrique/Fabricio Colliccini
Young Player Of The Year: Andy Carroll/Nile Ranger
Manager of the Year: Chris Hughton
Signing Of The Season: Mike Williamson
Worst Signing Of The Season: Pancrate
Most Disappointing Player: Leon Best
Most Anonymous Loan: none, they all played their part
Most Missed Player: Stephen Taylor/Joey Barton
Most Injured Player: Joey Barton/Stephen Taylor
Most Memorable Moment: so, so many but champions confirmation at Plymouth (a) and breaking 100 point mark at QPR (a) major highlights
Best Goal: all 100!! (well 99)
Best Home Performances: Cardiff, Blackpool, Forest, Barnsley, etc etc etc
Worst Home Performance: undefeated all season but 0-0 v Bristol City takes it
Best Away Performance: all 12 wins but Ipswich takes it
Worst Away Performance: Derby
Best Home Atmosphere: Ipswich (champions home coming!)
Best Opposition Display: QPR (h) team to beat in Champ next season
Best Opposition Player: Brad Jones (Honest!)... well ??
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: has to be Trophy Virgins banner, that was the pits and untrue.
Biggest PR Own Goal: attempt at renaming Stadium
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: Division One
Best Blog thread: all brilliant
Favourite poster: smog on tyne - who else?
Ye Gods AV, if the Trophy Virgins banner was your highlight of the season it just about sums up Boro's season!!!
As for Chris Hughton... correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't the talk on here in August likening Newcastle to Leeds... a joke club in free-fall... heading for Division One?... Commentators amazed that the bookies made the Jawdees favourites for promotion? The Boro also had very short odds for an immediate return didn't they? Would Boro fans have preferred keeping a high wage bill and being Champions as a result? The right manager received the award no question.
Sour grapes me thinks and boo swiz to you too.
Sadly (fortunately?) I haven't been to so many games this season but here's my Untypical Boro fantasy team.
GK - Ian Gill. Veteran safe pair of hands at the back. Dependable ever present. Non-stop talking and unfailing distribution.
CB - Redcar Red. Uncompromising and forthright.
CB - Forever Dormo. Hard but fair. First to the ball. Oops did he take the man as well? Oh never mind, it's a man's game after all...
RB - Jarkko. Persistant. Dedicated. Tidy. Unique in being the only member of the team who actively choose to be a Boro fan.
LB - Croydon Boro. Right footed and square pegged. Plus ca change. But it's my ball and if I can't play I'm taking my ball home and calling my agent. What? Only 60K a week?!?! They can stick it up their jacksies.
CM - John Powls. Does the simple things brilliantly. Consistent. Always available.
CM - -Jedward Vickers. Plays the Wellington role. 'I don't know if he scares the opposition but my God he terrifies me'. Puts great spin on every ball played forward.
RM - Mosso Cloudfiles. Entertaining but mercurial. Likely to disappear for long periods in big games. In any game for that matter.
LM - James Emmerson. Always plays the correct ball. Sometimes too obvious but that doesn't mean it's the wrong ball.
CF - Anthony Vickers. Strong leader of the line, always bringing others into play, excellent value for money, a blistering shot.
CF - Grove Hill Wallah. Guaranteed twenty goals a season man capable of playing with great whimsy and indulges in flights of fantasy which quite take the breath away. Plays number 10 in an Italian (short Brazillian?) free role.
Subs from - Nigel 'Reevalinho' Reeve, Smogonthetyne Now in Nunthorpe, peterboroangel, scoredraw, braveheart1
Manager - sick as a parrot
Physio - Brian Hewitson.
Good luck to Fulham and Skippy tonight. I hope they manage to go one better than Boro.
I watched some Boro highlights yesterday on youtube.
Some facts I had forgotten about.
Brad Jones played in goal versus Steau at the Riverside. Also, Southgate was substituted in that game (before the comeback started I think?). Riggott played a blinder as well as scoring a goal.
In the final in Eindhoven it was 1-0 'til 77th minute. I'd forgotten it had been so close for so much of the game.
Back to the semi against steau. One of their (vastly overweight) fans ran onto the pitch when they went 2-0 up, then collapsed in the centre circle. He was carried of to hospital. A bazarre incident, but I didn't hear the outcome. Does anyone know what happened to him?
**AV writes: He was taken to James Cook and treated for a suspected heart attack, kept in overnight and released later the next day. He had missed his transport home but I think Boro paid (I think he was based in London rather than Romania.)
I forgot to congratulate Blackpool. Brilliant performance by a good team of honest players without the need for multi million pound players.
I hope they make the Premiership. A model worthy of scrutiny!
Going back to Gary Caldwell, the good news is that we never signed him, the bad news however is that the manager wanted to sign him desperately.
His latest gem: My record in friendlies is horrendous. (I'd like to comment further on that but it's would be too easy).
Me? Veteran? Pah!
Goalkeeper? Mmmmm. There is one benefit in that like all good keepers I am good at making myself look big although in my case it is down to size not ability.
I must admit John Powls and myself have always fancied ourseleves as a right side pairing. We may not be good but the winger will be knackered by the time he has finished running round us.
As I put it to John, we are a lot of space to be a waste of.
I think that the Strachan notion of a pre-season 'Possibles v Probables' game at The Riverside is a good one.
It's essentially the sort of open coaching session we've often discussed on here as a positive idea. With (hopefully) a good number of new signings around it will be a good opportunity to build some bonds with fans - especially the youngsters.
I'm assuming it would be free to get in - that would be a great start - and that stuff could be put on round the game itself to engage folks too.
If handled right - and given the MFC PR track record I'm aware that this is a big 'if' - it could be a good start to a build back of a much fractured relationship.
If we're going to hit the heights next season we need everyone pulling together.
Keith Lamb commenting on the new "parachute payment deal"...
"I acted in the best interests of the Football League not necessarily Middlesbrough," he said.
With statements like that he should be out on his ear! I appreciate that the Football League should get more money from the big clubs, but first and foremost Mr Lamb is an employee of MFC.
Player Of The Year: Johnson
Young Player Of The Year: Johnson
Manager of the Year: no candidate
Signing Of The Season: Big Mick
Worst Signing Of The Season: Miller
Most Disappointing Player: Wheater
Most Anonymous Loan: Folan
Most Missed Player: Johnson
Most Injured Player: Bates
Most Memorable Moment: The Geordie fans response to the Trophy Vigins Banner
Best Goal: Robson against the Geordies
Best Home Performance: Newcastle
Worst Home Performance: Plymouth
Best Away Performance: QPR
Worst Away Performance: WBA
Best Home Atmosphere: Newcastle
Best Opposition Display: WBA at home
Best Opposition Player: Dorrans
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: to many pathetic performances on the pitch
Biggest PR Own Goal: everytime Lamb opens his mouth
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: mid table
Best Blog thread: deadline day
Favourite poster: all the regulars
Player Of The Year: Jonno, only one to make anything happen
Young Player Of The Year: Rhys Williams
Manager of the Year: Strachan, we were drifting, he brought some hope
Signing Of The Season: Robson
Worst Signing Of The Season: St Ledger, a disaster from day one
Most Disappointing Player: Miller... why?
Most Anonymous Loan: Bent. Twice.
Most Missed Player: Jonno
Most Injured Player: Poggi
Most Memorable Moment: Southgate getting sacked. At last.
Best Goal: Robson v Newcastle
Best Home Performance: Newcastle
Worst Home Performance: Plymouth was dire
Best Away Performance: DidnâÂÂt see any except West Brom on the box. That was dire.
Worst Away Performance: ditto
Best Home Atmosphere: Newcastle.
Best Opposition Display: Blackpool battered us. West Brom did too but I thought we were a bit unlucky with their first two.
Best Opposition Player: Brunt and Koren were lively
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: Blackpool away
Biggest PR Own Goal: Mackemgate.
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: Promotion as promised
Best Blog thread: The âÂÂSecond Class Citizensâ one that started a really good debate and got the Leeds and Mackem fans annoyed.
Favourite poster: Mr Average. I always seem to agree with him.
Peterborough Angel
My colleague is a Derby fan and no lover of the Red Dogs or Tricky Trees as they call their fanzine. A good friend got him into a box at the ground by the Trent (cant name the team cos got to think of Smog's sensibilities).
He was a bit worried at 2-1 but this morning said it was really strange getting so much pleasure watching your hated rivals getting taken apart, he almost felt guilty. I stress the almost.
There is more rivalry down the A52 (now called Brian Clough Way) than people realise and the Derby end will be aglow all summer over the result.
Wonder if any of Reds players will become available.
One suspects that it will be a Cardiff v Blackpool final with some of our targets on display.
Back to work.
When the third placed team gets walloped in the play offs it raises that age old question... can we BEAT the unmentionables next year!!!!? Probably not but at least we get another crack at it.
Croydon Boro, excellent team selection. I am happy to be understudy to Ian âÂÂsafe handsâ Gill
Brian Hewitson. I thought you were a wazzock, but obviously you are a man of fine taste. If you appreciate my wit, repartee and badinage then you are obviously a well educated soul.
Nacho Nacho man - - .
Player Of The Year: Barry Robson and he was only here half a season! What does that say about the rest?
Young Player Of The Year: Kyle Naughton impressive displays, please can we keep him?
Manager of the Year: None of the above, nobody has particularly covered themselves in glory this season. Perhaps Southgate as a pundit in the champions league coverage, talks a good game, but can't put it into action!!
Signing Of The Season: Barry Robson
Worst Signing Of The Season: Miller, by a country mile, why did we waste meagre resources on a man who is less like a footballer than my granny, and she's been dead for 13 years!
Most Disappointing Player: Miller, why???
Most Anonymous Loan: Folan never was there a worse signing, he was just criminal.
Most Missed Player: Tough one between Huth and Tuncay, pity we couldn't have kept one of them!
Most Injured Player: Matthew Bates, most unluck guy in the world!
Most Memorable Moment: Flood's first goal for the club, was it a cross or a shot, we'll never know!
Best Goal:See above!
Best Home Performance: the 70 odd minutes against newcastle, why could we not hold on against those arrogant skunks??
Worst Home Performance: Plymouth, truly dreadful, enough said!
Best Away Performance: QPR away, oh how we flattered to deceive!
Worst Away Performance: West Brom away, too many thinking about their summer holidays and not enough people putting a shift in!
Best Home Atmosphere: Newcastle, sheer genius!
Best Opposition Display: West brom at home, showed us up good and proper, this was the moment I knew we weren't going up!
Best Opposition Player: Dorrans West Brom, what a player!
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: losing Huth and Tuncay, after being promised a promotion winning side, thanks Mister Gibson for gifting two of our best players for a pittance!
Biggest PR Own Goal: Any thing that comes out of Steve Gibson's or Keith Lamb's mouth, tip for the summer, put up (the money) and shut up (no more blind faith howlers please!)
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: At best, the playoffs, at worst just avoiding doing a Leeds!
Best Blog thread: The deadline day blog, agree about the drunken ramblings!!
Favourite poster: Phillip on Teamtalk, he mentions just about every lower league player as being brilliant for the boro, is he an agent in disguise??
Brian Hewitson said:
"As for Chris Hughton... correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't the talk on here in August likening Newcastle to Leeds... a joke club in free-fall... heading for Division One?... Commentators amazed that the bookies made the Jawdees favourites for promotion? The Boro also had very short odds for an immediate return didn't they? Would Boro fans have preferred keeping a high wage bill and being Champions as a result? The right manager received the award no question.
Sour grapes me thinks and boo swiz to you too."
I don't think anyone would argue that Hughton has done a very good, possibly excellent, job. It's just that Ian Holloway and Nigel Pearson have, all things considered, done a better job. Isn't that what a manager of the year award is about?
Player Of The Year: Barry Robson
Young Player Of The Year: Jonathan Franks
Manager of the Year: all the keyboard ones - we're never wrong
Signing Of The Season: Barry Robson
Worst Signing Of The Season: Lee Miller
Most Disappointing Player: Leroy Lita
Most Anonymous Loan: Jay O'Shea
Most Missed Player: Ross Turnbull
Most Injured Player: Chris Riggott
Most Memorable Moment: Southgate getting read the riot act on Radio Brownlee
Best Goal: Baz in the home derby
Best Home Performance: Newcastle
Worst Home Performance: WBA
Best Away Performance: Doncaster
Worst Away Performance: Newcastle
Best Home Atmosphere: Newcastle
Best Opposition Display: 'Pool
Best Opposition Player: Charlie Adam
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: 2 points total gained off the top 6
Biggest PR Own Goal: forgetting the away strip halfway to Peterborough
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: 2nd - automatic promotion
Favourite poster: he only made one appearance, but it was electric: Babysitting in Nunthorpe
AV, with the summer (silly) season rapidly approaching will you be taking a well earned break? If so will there be a guest editor stepping in? Or you could auction it off for charity. Can I open the bidding at ã11.47
Just think of the fantastic blogs we could have
Untypical Anlov -
Anlov blogs about the need for clubs to have foreign ownership, foreign players, the benefits of scrapping the youth system and why Gareth Southgate was a failure.
Untypical Scordraw -
Scoredraw blogs about why Tony McMahon should be released and why he likes Mamma Mia the musical.
Untypical Powls -
Scouting reports from the 90âÂÂs. John highlights potential Boro targets, such as Keith OâÂÂNeil, Chris Freestone, Ian Ironside, John Collins and Jaime Moreno.
Untypical Grove Hill Wallah (maximum 99 replies) -
Wallah parodies the boro in a skit with the much loved musical hall duo Whaley and Scott.
Untypical Hewitson -
A self deprecating, humorous and well balanced look at north east football.
Untypical Braveheart -
Latest news from North of the Border,âŠâÂÅ the Korean border.
Untypical Smogonthetyne -
A well thought out , football focused piece with the odd laugh.
Untypical Gill -
More mad man ravings from the unbalanced , unhinged, and undressed correspondent in the east midlands.
Untypical Dormo -
Live blog from the âÂÂFrisky FoxâÂÂ. Unprecedented 52 hour live blog after freak ash cloud incident leads to a lock in.
Untypical Jarkko -
More down beat defeatism from Finland.
**AV writes: Untypical Tees Exile bigs up the staying power, loyalty and positive impact of the Riverside crowd? Untypical Richard, a short and snappy report on why economics don't matter in modern football? Any more?
Untypical AV -
A detailed rationale for increased funding for the premiership by Sky and a reduction in payments for the rest of the leagues to improve the premiership product. Relegation to be scrapped and a winter break where the top four play a series of mini tournaments overseas. Top four to come into the FA and League Cups at the semi final stage.
Untypical Tony Black
A treatise on the excellence of coaching and conditioning at Rockcliffe.
Despite liking Roy Hodgson an almost all of the Fulham players (seem like nice boys) I was delighted they were beaten.
Can you imagine the mountain of gushing, corny cliches we would have to suffer from the laziest least ethical profession in the UK if trendy little Fulham had won ?
Schwarzer interviews - NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We would have to put up with all that bull about premier league superiority.
I realise and accept my unconventional view is probably based on anger over the absence of any acknowledgement of the Boro's success and efforts in the same competition but that does not make it unhealthy.
No not at all - its FUN !
Having realised how much fun can be had from other teams bad luck and misfortune I am going to sit back and look forward to the world cup hoping for:
(a) Eve of match allegation involving John Terry and Mrs .....
(b) 'Bigging Up' and eventual selection of Emily Heskey
(c) WAG problem (cat fight ?)
(d) Sending off's (Rooney thinking he's at OT & can abuse refs)
(e) Inevitable sub standard Gerrard (world class my a...)
(f) Fitness issues with the unfit (Rio, Barry..)
(g)The mediocrity of Lennon, Carragher, Wright Phillips, Defoe ..
England may have corrupted Capello's judgement just like it did with Sven but I still remain 'hard headed', clear thinking, wise and fair as always.
In the meantime - Come on Pompey !!!!!!!!!
I for one hope that Michael Brown, 'Quaker' by nature 'Monkey Hanger' by birth shows his natural lack of deference as he patrols the pitch looking for victims ..........
**AV writes: I share a small-minded pleasure in seeing poor Fulham lose. A victory for them would add to the idea that the UEFA Cup is somehow "easy" and would take away from Boro's own achievement. Now being runners-up is officially a creditable display to be lauded maybe our own run will be rehabilitated.
On a similar note I have actively welcomed in recent years the repeated failure of all those big clubs - Newcastle, Spurs, Man City, Villa, Liverpool - to emulate little Boro's achievement in reaching the final of this 'tinpot' competition. I will be adopted the same tactically parochial attitude next year too.
Poor Mark Schwarzer though: he has now let in six goals in UEFA Cup finals.
-
Yep, I agree with others, I was pleased Fulham lost. Nothing against the club, on the contrary, but reading the press if they'd won would have been purgatory.
Pity SG didn't consider Roy Hodgson when McClaren left, hey ho! Dont feel sorry for Schwarzer, he's played in two UEFA cup finals, not many players get to do that.
Typical small minded Boro fans. How can you support a foreign team against an English one? You should always back the English team in Europe, even if you have too bite your tongue when it is Man Yoo. It is good for the whole English game when we win.
**AV writes: No, no, no. That is completely wrong. When a big team team does well in the Champions League it is BAD BAD BAD for the whole English game. The Premier League is already grossly distorted and deformed by the vast financial imbalance. The last thing it needs is a Chelsea/Man U/Spurs or whoever earning another ã40-60m to spend on stealing the few remaining good players at the makeweight clubs outside the magic circle.
Can we justifiably claim to be outraged if the media forgets about us but then claim to be delighted that Fulham lost? What does that say about us? Can we have it both ways? I would imagine there would be some indignant posts if we heard that Celtic and Rangers fans were delighted that Seville beat us.
I think the default setting of all football fans is they donâÂÂt want to see a local/rival club win anything. However this was a competition we are unlikely to compete in again for a very long time so why should it bother us?
The sooner we all move on from Eindhoven the better. Some of us are still stuck in the Grieving process
Step 1, Denial â It should have been a penalty etc, forgetting the fact the team finished 14th that season and was a bit rubbish.
Step 2, Anger â Lamb out!!! I didnâÂÂt see him on the pitch though.
Step 3, Bargaining, If only weâÂÂd got an experienced manager in not a Mourinho but an OâÂÂNeil would have done. We were broke and 14th in the league who was going to come?
Step 4, Depression, Southgate out, Strachan Out, Non attendance and proud of it. Why do people who no longer attend matches feel as if they have to come on here and shout about it? Get a grip! If you donâÂÂt want to go, OK. There are more reasons not to go than to go, but donâÂÂt try and look like you have been hard done by and want applause or sympathy. Take up tai chi and find your inner peace or something
Step 5, Acceptance. We had a brilliant time but it is now gone.
LetâÂÂs try and get it back by pulling together and getting behind the team. ItâÂÂs all we can do.
Smogonthetyne now in Nunthorpe:
I accept your point about moving on from Eindhoven, but the first thing that went through my head last night, watching Forlan deftly guide the ball into the net was the same as AV: "poor Schwarzer - how many keepers have conceded 6 in UEFA Cup Finals?"
A part of me is glad they didn't win to be honest. It was bad enough watching the TV coverage cut to Lily Allen and Hugh Grant - the media would have been insufferable had they done it.
I guess I'm a small minded northerner - but I'm proud of it!
In Boro news, my truncated list of seasonal highlights as follows:
Best Player, Signing, Goal, Performance & Special Award for "Exactly the type of player we've been missing since Boateng lost his legs" - Barry Robson
Worst Signing(s): Folan, Bent, Miller. Hopefully Strachan knows more about strikers than he let on last season, because I'm not filled with confidence.
Saw It Coming A Mile Off Award: meek and embarrassing capitulation following stonking 5-1 defeat of QPR. AV's blog could have just said "Typical Boro".
Best Poster: jointly awarded to the hardcore crew that make this blog the highly entertaining part cynical, part nostalgic, part hopeless optimism that it is.
Ian Gill -
I was congratulating Blackpool, not rubbing salt into Forests wounds. If I want to be happy about Forests failure it will be due to the locality of Nottingham to Peterborough, so a local-ish game next season.
Smogonthetyne -
A great post - despite the fact that I am now a non-attender! I can, however, accept that the brilliant time we had has now gone and unlikely to ever return to how it was.
It seems like only yesterday we were the talk of the football world, signing Juninho/Ravanelli/Emerson and Barmby.
I agree that pulling together is all we can do.
Player Of The Year: Robson
Young Player Of The Year: Williams
Manager of the Year: Ask me next year!
Signing Of The Season: Robson
Worst Signing Of The Season: St Ledger..why oh why did we bother?
Most Disappointing Player: Emnes - I really had high hopes for him at this level.
Most Anonymous Loan: Jay O'Shea
Most Missed Player: Huth - how different it may have been had Wheater played with Huth and not the joke that is St Ledger.
Most Injured Player: Aliadiere - others may have been out longer but for sheer ability to com baeck from injury, play a game, get injured again and go through the same cycle throughout the season wins it for me!
Most Memorable Moment: Probably when I found out that St Ledger wasn't signing up permanently. Thrilled!
Best Goal: Robson vs Newcastle
Best Home Performance: Probably Newcastle although in terms of sheer dominance, Scunthorpe - we should have had 6 or 7 in that game at least and it was nice to relax and enjoy the game knowing a win was inevitable!
Worst Home Performance: Bristol City. There are probably many others but this one struck me as completely frustrating based on how poor the opposition really were yet we could not hurt them.
Best Away Performance: QPR without a doubt. How we all thought that performance was a taster of things to come.
Worst Away Performance: Again for absolute frustration it has to be Crystal Palace. How we didn't win I don't know. But it really pained me to see us fail to destroy such a poor team and at the same time realise we're not going to make it.
Best Home Atmosphere: Hmm, how many years back can we go?
Best Opposition Display: West Brom
Best Opposition Player: Adams
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: The promise that we were capable of competing financially iin this division, to then find we hardly spent any money strengthening.
Biggest PR Own Goal: Cancelling the win four games get half season free deal. I didn't like the deal so much but I feel our season ticket holders hold too much weight and for the club to pull out of the deal was ridiculous just because a few ticket holders complained.
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: Promotion, minimum playoffs
Best Blog thread: That deadline day thread was brilliant.
Favourite poster: I enjoy most posts from most of the regulars, but perhaps Scoredraw for his unwavering support of getting Tony McMahon back in the team, even though he's been injured for some time!
AV et al happy for Fulham's defeat - you should all be thoroughly ashamed of yourselves.
If we can't empathise with the fans of a fellow "minnow" in media terms on the greatest occasion in their history we deserve to be pilloried by all and sundry.
Who gives a toss about the media's coverage of it. Here was another small club taking on the best in Europe and going all the way. We should all have been 100% behind Fulham last night as comrades in poking two fingers up to all those in the game who think it revolves around a certain foursome.
I suppose you would have barred West auckland from Northern League forever for daring to play in those first World Cups.
I am not ashamed to admit that there was one game where I was fully behind the mackems - when they beat Leeds in the FA Cup final.
These are the occasions when we should all overcome petty bigotry and get behind the underdog performing way above their station.
What's it like to be Euro Trophys virgins?
AV - Right and wrong.
Right that the money continues to distort the game.
Right because many of the players playing Champions league football cannot play for England. How many Arsenal fans will berate England at the World Cup and wont understand the irony of their positions. (applies to the Celtic nations as well)
Right because we are not developing enough British managers for the benefit of the British game - trans border support, what is the matter with me.
Wrong because some clubs are bringing through or playing British players and that will benefit British football.
Wrong because if the big clubs hadnt been succesful we would not have had the UEFA coefficient to get us into Europe. ManU started the process to rebuld the position because of the ban from European football - are you listening scousers of the red persuasion?
Right because the balance is still wrong between the clubs.
This fence post is giving me splinters, how do I explain that at the local walk in NHS surgery?
Player Of The Year: Matthew Bates (didn't put a foot wrong all season) - though Johnson left us to wonder what might have been if Southgate had picked him more often last season
Young Player Of The Year: Anyone that is not classified as a 'man' by Strachan
Manager of the Year: GS3 (to be announced)
Signing Of The Season: Alves' contract termination
Worst Signing Of The Season: St Ledger - forever AWOL, he thought he was an attacking midfielder and even cost us precious cash to cancel his loan deal
Most Disappointing Player: Where do we start...
Most Anonymous Loan: Gary Neville
Most Missed Player: Huth - Wheater and Boro went downhill after he left
Most Injured Player: Ali-oops-I-fellover-again
Most Memorable Moment: Southgate getting sacked after getting within a point of the top.
Best Goal: to get promoted
Best Home Performance: Any of my DIY project completions
Worst Home Performance: There were so many to choose from Southgate's team which cost him his job
Best Away Performance: Apparently John Terry put in quite a few good away performances
Worst Away Performance: Apparently John Terry...
Best Atmosphere: Saturn
Best Opposition Display: Nick Clegg's first PM debate
Best Opposition Player: The one Boro will sign in June
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: Being Sued by Tuncay for Image rights
Biggest PR Own Goal: The half-season ticket special offer if Boro won four in a row after being on a long losing streak
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: Playoffs followed by disappointment
Best Blog thread: The Big 500 took on a life of it's own - plus the more recent summing up of the season in ten words
Favourite poster(s): Forever Dormo and his tales from being holed up in the pub during the winter - also Smog-on-the-tyne is always amusing - plus any short post from Richard - and John Powls for talking sense - not forgetting GHW for reminding me about all the films I haven't seen.
Smogonthetyne - Here-here to your post!
I don't feel that our achievement in reaching the UEFA Cup Final is in any way diminished by Fulham's run.
You only need to look at AV's list (in his reply to scoredraw) of fashionable English clubs who have failed to match our achievement in that competition to appreciate the magnitude of that success.
Fulham's final appearance says more about their fantastic progression than it does about the quality of the Europa League and therefore does not lessen our achievement in my opinion.
I was audibly disappointed to see Forlan's winner go in so late.
Onto Smog's step 5 everyone I reckon...
Better late than never.....
Player Of The Year: Barry Robson
Young Player Of The Year: Does Adam Johnson count?
Manager of the Year: Holloway/Pearson
Signing Of The Season: Barry Robson (the only signing of any note)
Worst Signing Of The Season: All but the above or one of Miller/Folan/Kitson/ Bent/Osbourne.
Most Disappointing Player: Miller or Lita
Most Anonymous Loan: Folan
Most Missed Player: Juninho
Most Injured Player:
Most Memorable Moment: When the whistle blew on this sorry excuse of a season.
Best Goal: Adam Johnson at Scunthorpe
Best Home Performance: none
Worst Home Performance: all (Blackpool or Watford)
Best Away Performance: QPR
Worst Away Performance: West Brom
Best Home Atmosphere: v Newcastle
Best Opposition Display: Blackpool
Best Opposition Player:
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: MFC
Biggest PR Own Goal: "Blind Faith"
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: just above mid-table.
Best Blog thread: Second Class Citizens
Favourite poster(s): Prowls and Gill
I wished Fulham well before the final and meant it. I empathised with their supporters at the final whistle, just as I hope that they and other team's supporters might have empathised with us after we lost to Sevilla that night in Eindhoven. If they didn't, then that's their problem, not ours.
Small town in Europe we might have been (and will be again, I'm sure), but that doesn't mean we need to be small minded as well. We are better than that.
That said, I must confess that after the result last night I did have a small warm glow of satisfaction: not at Fulham's or their supporter's expense, but simply in the pride that our achievement in the UEFA cup hasn't been bettered since, by any other English club.
More power to Middlesbrough and to Fulham, who should both be extremely proud of their respective achievements. Both clubs have shown that European success can be obtained by more than just the elite of English football. They have shown that there is still something to aspire to for any team in the English leagues, fashionable or not. Who cares if the media (AV & the Gazette excepted) are too darned lazy to drop their ambivolence to, and ignorance of, Middlesbrough.
We are going to get promoted next season.
We will be back in Europe.
We are the Boro.
Brian Hewitson:
Is that "Official" European Trophy Virgins or "Unofficial" European Trophy Virgins?
I am sure you enjoyed the trip to your final? Outside of our result, I did.
Smogonthetyne now in Nunthorpe
great post
C'Mon Boro!
This silly trophy virgin thing that some of you Boro fans like to throw around.
Do you not realise that your own club has never won a trophy of note in over a centuy of trying, which makes you lot the REAL trophy virgins so it makes you look a little bit silly!
The reality is
MUFC "countless" real trophies
Bury FC 2 real trophies
Boro FC 0 real trophies.
Please carry on though, you lot amuse me.
"âŠâŠâÂÅ ..Untypical Richard, a short and snappy report on why economics don't matter in modern footballâÂÅ "
First Post from "the other side":
AV:- Your reply to Craig B at 10:01 AM
"**AV writes: No, no, no. That is completely wrong. When a big team team does well in the Champions League it is BAD BAD BAD for the whole English game. The Premier League is already grossly distorted and deformed by the vast financial imbalance. The last thing it needs is a Chelsea/Man U/Spurs or whoever earning another ã40-60m to spend on stealing the few remaining good players at the makeweight clubs outside the magic circle."
Not often I disagree with you AV, but this is absolute tosh!
It doesn't matter how little money you've got to spend on players. Roy Hodgson would get the present Boro squad into the Champions League in three seasons - tops! No question! See what McClaren did with FC Twente - and HE didn't have to spend a fortune?!
All you need is Blind Faith, a complete disregard of overwhelming evidence and an unshakeable belief in your own inabilities! Easy!
(Hope it meets all your expectations Werdermouth?)
Interesting Post Rikjard - but perhaps your doppelganger could expand on your argument?
Smog on The Tyne:
For some reason the press & TV resent the existence of the North Eastern clubs. Their annoyance at having to come to the Boro is tangible. I don't know why, but it's clear that any complaint about our treatment seems to 'excite' them and make their behaviour worse.
Based on this view I think the best approach is to celebrate failures and disasters of the clubs the "love". I manage to secure much satisfaction from this 'system' for example:
Man Utd's defeat by the "typical Germans" - almost as good as our Cardiff victory
Liverpool dumped out of both Euro cups with ease - "thats entertainment ..."
John Terry pointlessly arguing with the ref as Chesea leave the field after being 'hoiked' out by inter - "sweet as a sugared almond"
Fulham, nice as they are getting beat by a good Spanish side and stopping the nauseous, predictable, phoney, UNFAIR, cliched, lazy efforts of the crappy media we have being force fed to "free thinkers" like me is the will of God (and may I take this opportunity to thank him).
Your problem Smog, if you don't me me saying is - you don't know how to enjoy yourself.
Why dont you join me in wishing that the final on Saturday is a 'kick-fest' played on that famously crappy pitch that ends with eight men each left on the pitch and is won by a goal punched in by a Portsmouth player who they have yet to pay for !
Is poor scouting and choice of player only to be seen at MFC? Watch this clip for the answer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iad3gV-9C1U
It sums up fans feeling perfectly.
Scoredraw.
I doff my cap.
Could the game also feature someone punching the FA chairman during the handshakes, 22 men handbags in the centre circle, an 88th minute Chelsea penalty missed by fatpard, and a dog running off with the trophy after biting Terry?
Imagine the chaos in the BBC studio. Not to mention all those angry advertising executives who thought they were paying for family friendly fun..
Bit harsh Smog though, far from not knowing how to enjoy himself, he clearly possess' a very well developed sense of humour. He is a Boro fan after all...
Scoredraw,
Of course I donâÂÂt mind you saying. But I do know how to enjoy myself , this blog and especially your posts (I voted for you as best poster) is my main source of entertainment!
I also love to see the Big boys getting a beating. ThatâÂÂs what gives us all hope. I would like nothing better than to see Chelsea come unstuck in comical circumstances.
However when ever I have wished ill on a team it invariably comes back to haunt us (more specifically me). So publicly IâÂÂll stay neutral but in the privacy of my mind IâÂÂm as partisan as the rest of us.
Diablo Rojo (occasionally of Costa de la Darlingtono) -
Don't you take the North Ridings Senior Cup as a major trophy?
.....Brian started it anyway.....
If the McAllister story in today's Gazette comes to fruition it is a good step forward and may well help to attract players to join too.
Werdermouth:
Perhaps he could, but brevity appears to be fashionable, and preferred - as you indicated. Interesting that a consequence should be a call for more expansive explanation however! ;) Nice one!
I am very honored to be included on some lists here:
First, CroydonBoro said:
"RB - Jarkko. Persistant. Dedicated. Tidy. Unique in being the only member of the team who actively choose to be a Boro fan."
Secondly,Smogonthetyne Now in Nunthorpe said:
"Untypical Jarkko - More down beat defeatism from Finland."
They say Boro fans understand football. But how CroydonBoro knows I am a full back at over 45 yr level? Incredible.
I am really touched by the comments of my fellow bloggers. I'm proud to be Boro!
UTB!
I am a bit tired after an average season - it's a positive way of saying a horrendous season :). But I think I need a break from football - until the World Cup that is.
I see Boro are about to sign Gary McAllister soon. Sounds good - perhaps we needed some changes at (C)rockcliffe! Definitely I hope we won't have so many injuries next season as we had this or last season. And then we need a settled side as GS2 has stated.
Only four years since Eindhoven. I hope we're back in the Premiership soon. Perhaps in the PL top 10 in four years! You never know how untypical we can be. But I trust SG will take us back there - the Premier League. Up the Boro!
I read from a NE newspaper the following:
But it is regulars at the Riverside who have most cause to shake their heads in disbelief. Not only is Dong-Gook Lee included in the South Korea squad, but boss Huh Jung-Moo has picked him out as the player most likely to fire his side into round two.
Interesting to see him in the World Cup to say the least! UTB!
Is there a footie match on this Saturday? Personally, I'll be down the allotment, Sunday I'll watch the twenty20 final. No more football for me until the World Cup.
I was disapointed to see Stewie hasn't made the squad, but not surprised. In my opinion Jonno and Downing while having different styles have similar talent, the difference is Jonno believes in himself more. My son is desperate to see Jonno play for England, because it'll stick another million in Boro's bank account....good perspective.
**AV writes: There's no football for me this weekend. My boy's at the national gymnastics finals.
Come on Vic Jnr.!!!
Player Of The Year: Very hard one - Jinky (pre xmas)or Robson (post xmas). Full season consistency award would got to O'Neil though.
Young Player Of The Year: Rhys Williams.
Manager of the Year: Strachan ???
Signing Of The Season: Robson - One tenth of the fee we paid for Digard, incredible !
Worst Signing Of The Season: Any of the loans (excluding McManus). Second thoughts, scrap that - ã4.5M for SSL, someone must have put the decimal place in the wrong spot.
Most Disappointing Player: Mido, as I was hoping he might get a couple of goals at West Ham & persuade them to buy him.
Most Anonymous Loan: Folan, about 60 mins on the pitch in total wasn't it ?
Most Missed Player: Huth.
Most Injured Player: Pogatetz.
Most Memorable Moment: Southgate's sacking.
Best Goal: Robbo against the barcodes.
Best Home Performance: I'm going for the Bernie Slaven "none of em deserve anything for that rubbish" answer.
Worst Home Performance: Blackpool, we managed to make them look like Brazil.
Best Away Performance: QPR.
Worst Away Performance: West Brom.
Best Home Atmosphere: Barcodes.
Best Opposition Display: West Brom.
Best Opposition Player: Charlie Adam or Graham Dorrans.
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: Barcodes undeserved equaliser, after we played them off the park.
Biggest PR Own Goal: Xmas season ticket offer u-turn.
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: Top six, minimum.
Best Blog thread: Anything around transfer deadline day, when participation is feverish.
Favourite poster: Like any good politically correct employer, I value everyone's contribution equally, regardless of gender, race or inability to punctuate :)
Good luck to Vic jnr from me too, give us a gymanstics thread next week Vic, maybe a compare and contrast with footie culture?
Nigel, I'm really looking forward to watching the cup final on Saturday - though that's the German one: Werder Bremen v Bayern Munich - should be a classic as both teams had a good season and scoring plenty of goals.
Also good luck to Vic jnr - just goes to show that some kids will literally bend over backwards to make their fathers proud!
**AV writes: Thanks for all the "good lucks." The boy will be alright. We're nervous as hell but he's chilled.
Anthony :
National Gymnastics !! A sport and a level that requires much courage and confidence. His mum must be a hell of a gal. Good Luck
AV
May I add my good wishes to Vic jumior. Some questions however.
Will you be doing a live blog on the event? Is there any chanting? Maybe we can have a thread on gymnastic chants. Heres some for starters
'Dismount, and you screwed it up up'
'Your not fit to wear the leotard'
'We are the left side, we are the left side, we are the left side parallel bar.....'
'Can we vault you every week?'
God, Im bored without a Boro match to not look forward to.
**AV writes: "Let's go flipping mental"
Smog on the...
The irony of the "you don't know how to enjoy yourself ...." joke was missed, probably due to it's written form.
The comment was aimed at myself and my penchant for enjoying the misery and failures of 'Big' teams. There is a German term for it I beleive. I think it's called 'Laffing vonskokoff'
CroydonBoro:
Forgive me for running the risk of spoiling a wonderful image but may I suggest that it would better if the punch in the face to FA/Premier chairman was launched from a disgruntled Pompey fan in sailor suit who managed to evade all security via the drunken body swerve ?
Player Of The Year: Johnson
Young Player Of The Year: Williams
Manager of the Year:Ian Holloway
Signing Of The Season: Robson
Worst Signing Of The Season: St Ledger
Most Disappointing Player: Hoyte
Most Anonymous Loan: O'Shea/Folan
Most Missed Player: Tuncay (I think he would have destroyed this division)
Most Injured Player: Riggott/Bates
Most Memorable Moment: Trophy Virgins
Best Goal: Robson V Toon
Best Home Performance: Newcastle
Worst Home Performance: West Brom/Cardiff/Blackpool
Best Away Performance: Sheff Wed
Worst Away Performance: Blackpool/West Brom
Best Home Atmosphere: Newcastle
Best Opposition Display: West Brom
Best Opposition Player: Charlie Adam/Chris Burke
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: Blackpool away
Biggest PR Own Goal: "Off the shelf" Sunday League Football Kit. The adidas badge just compounded the whole thing making us look "ten a penny kit wearers" who had just sold out our soul and our identity. How many other teams had the exact same kit as us!
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: Champions or Runners up (Still had Johnson, Huth, and Tuncay)
Best Blog thread: Deadline Day Drama... Live!
Favourite poster: Ian Gill, John Powls and Richard
Smog on the...
The irony of the "you don't know how to enjoy yourself ...." joke was missed, probably due to it's written form.
The comment was aimed at myself and my penchant for enjoying the misery and failures of 'Big' teams. There is a a German term for it I beleive. I think it's called 'Laffing vonskokoff'
CroydonBoro:
Forgive me for running the risk of spoiling a wonderful image but may I suggest that it would better if the punch in the face to FA/Premier chairman was launched from a disgruntled Pompey fan in sailor suit who managed to evade all security via the drunken body swerve
Is Mosso going to the gymnastics? that would be a great live event . Scoredraw could keep you updated with the cup final
**AV writes: I'm taking the lappy so I'll probably be able to pick up a stream. There's a lot of downtime in between his action. He's a tumbler so it is an hour wait then a sudden 30 second flash of somersault- bounce - handspring - four back flips - somersault with tuck.... sandwich, PSP, text mates... long wait etc.
Daily Mail reports:
"Gordon Strachan is ready to pull off a transfer coup by beating Tottenham and Fulham to the signature of Rochdale defender Craig Dawson, 20.
Boro have agreed a deal of around ã750,000, rising to ã2m, for the former Manchester City trainee."
Any truth on this, AV? I mean if his place is at the heart of defense I think we are already well covered there. Of course depending if McMagus, Poggy, Roggs are to stay. Up the Boro!
Perhaps AV junior can be a future Striker coach at MFC, with special "penalty arera skils" as his remit.
Oh, and good luck for today.
"Eye of the Tiger Rock, eye of the Tiger"
Smart move AV getting the lad to become a tumbler so he can perfect his goal celebration before becoming a professional footballer - I can only imagine the embarassment of seeing your son score a crucial goal and then having to witness a rubbish celebration in front of millions of TV viewers.
I see Boro are being linked with League Two player of the year - twenty year old Rochdale central defender, Craig Dawson.
Well, OK - so long as he is part of a set of four centre-backs that includes a couple of 'men' who have much more experience and a certain battle scarred-ness.
So, a McManus-a-like is still needed and possibly another of that ilk if Pogi is going. I don't count Riggs in that bracket.
If Strachs is looking for that sort of 'developer', someone a little further along the trajectory, like Wheats, is Jack Hobbs from Leicester.
He's worth having for the name alone. It's a throwback to the days when you had those gentlemen - like the Comptons - who were both England football and cricket internationals.
Seriously, an excellent prospect who's now not going to The Prem this season.
**AV writes: Jack Hobbs is a Football Manager must buy if you are operating on a limited budget.
Others' misfortunes?
Preston facing a winding up order.
Ross Wallace and Andy Lonergan anyone?
The way Wheats is talking in the interview reported by Phil T in the Gazette today, Craig Dawson may well be the replacement for him.
I'd like to join several posters and wish Vic Jr. luck.
My daughter is a gymnast and I have a hard time watching the event. I'm used to footy, where it's possible to mess up and your teammates can bail you out, or at least you get another chance. Gymnastics is way more intense...you wait for hours and then you have a minute or so to show your stuff. Anyway, good luck Vic Jr.
So Vic jnr is a tumbler. Wonder if he got special tuition from Jinky and Aliadioveragain?
About to drop Mrs G in town and go to the garden centre. Yes, on cup final day.
When I was a lad, before day in day out coverage of football, this was one of the most important days of the year. It seemed to start at breakfast and you watched every minute. No matter who was playing you picked a side and knew everything about them.
As a student in the seventies we would get a barrel in a couple of days before and watch the match. Now a lot of us dont care unless we have a special interest.
Of more importance is the fact we have given pro contracts to six lads from the academy. We have brought in another promising lad with another on the horizon. Lets hope for a good summer.
**AV writes: The streets used to be deserted on FA Cup final day. "It's A Cup Final Knockout" was a brilliant curtain-raiser. And the live footage from the team hotels. Rav v Coxy over the cornflakes... classic cup KO?
John
Somehow I cant see Riggott or Pogi staying. Nor do I think McManus will still be here and that leaves us with a problem at the back. Of the three Pogi seems the likeliest and I would be happy as long he was kept away from left back.
Assuming they all go, Wheats needs someone alongside him because he is still young for a centre back. His best form was alongside Woodgate, Huth and Pogi. Players a bit older than him.
Somewhere, Strachs has to find an experienced centre back. In addition we still need to resolve the problems in goal, left side midfield, someone to allow Robson to boss games safe in the knowledge there is someone behind him, left back plus up front.
Situation normal.
Following on from Ian's post above about how Cup Final day was once a magical and wonderous occasion. As a boy I would be sat from breakfast time glued and entranced all day long until seeing the cup lifted some 8 or 9 hours later.
I always managed to pick the loser's (soft spot for underdogs) as my team for the day. I backed Sheff Weds V Everton in the mid 60's and anyone who can remember that game can understand why I got hooked on football, it was also memorable for me as a schoolboy for an unfortunately named Everton goalscorer whose name gave me a chuckle when the commentator kept mentioning Trebilcock on the wing.
Today was a mini portrait of all the damage that has been done to todays game since those wistful days by the controlling authority in my opinion. Unsustainable but influential greed and plastic glamour versus genuine old fashioned supporters who have seen the heart ripped out of their club but defiantly clinging to the soul of their proud heritage.
A stadium once famous for the walk up the immortal Wembley steps to collect medals and silverware now replaced by a thoughtless afterthought clambering unelegantly through the stands and to cap it all a pitch which would be cause for concern at Schools level.
Take a bow FA!
Why are
People posting 3
Consecutive posts and not just one, albeit larger post?
**AV writes: Hmmmm. I wonder why?
Scoredraw -.
Michael BrownâÂÂs performance was inspired. It was if he had your instructions ringing in his ears.
âÂÂI for one hope that Michael Brown, 'Quaker' by nature 'Monkey Hanger' by birth shows his natural lack of deference as he patrols the pitch looking for victims .......âŠâÂÂ
Would he be worth bid this summer?
**AV writes: Yes. He would.
To help us reach the 100 limit for Grove Hill wallah to score I will try my favorites.
Player Of The Year: Robbo
Young Player Of The Year: Adam Johnson!
Manager of the Year: Ian Holloway (none at Boro)
Signing Of The Season: Robbo
Worst Signing Of The Season: Mido
Most Disappointing Player: Mido
Most Anonymous Loan: Folan and the midfield I cannot even remember the name of!
Most Missed Player: Bates
Most Injured Player: Bates
Most Memorable Moment: Can't think of any?
Best Goal: Any of A Johnson's
Best Home Performance: Barcodes
Worst Home Performance: Blackpool after the QPR win
Best Away Performance: Swansea
Worst Away Performance:Watford ended a dream
Best Home Atmosphere: Wednesday at live blog
Best Opposition Display: WBA
Best Opposition Player: Adams
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: missing promotion
Biggest PR Own Goal: Tuncay sueing for image rights
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: Promotion through POs
Best Blog thread: 500 serie
Favourite poster: Dormo
Dong-Gook Lee in the Korea squad and everyone seems to be amazed. Wasn't he there when we signed him?
Despite the other comments on here, I want to wish him well and I hope he proves himself to be a good player. Someone at Boro must have thought that for us to sign him.
What if he does prove himself. What will that say about Boro? Why couldn't we get the best out of him? Did we play to his strengths? (I can predict the cynical comments to that!)
These questions never seem to be asked when a signing ends up as a failure.
I wonder whether Conway notching two excellent finishes for Dundee Utd in the Jocks FA Cup Final was a good thing or not - viewed from a Boro perspective.
Alerts the opposition and probably puts the price up too.
Gomis - another alleged target - seemed to show up well too, including the assist for Conway's second and Goodwillie got the first with a neat lob on the run.
On a similar theme - Sol Bamba from Hibs is probably best got before he gets on the World stage with the Ivory Coast in SA, though he and his agent might not agree!
This Dawson kid.... my worry is did McQeen recommend him alla St Ledger? Please tell me he didnt.and Gordon actually has seen him play
Well I hope your young'un has had a good weekend, AV, 'cos we Boro fans haven't had many this last season.
And I won't mention the "how they got to Wembley" or the "Meet the players' wives" that we so enjoyed on those FA Cup Final days, when we we really didn't like either of the two teams, but we still decided we liked one more than the other.
On the other hand we are the 20x20 (T20) World Champions having stuffed the Aussies!! Thiis is like beating Man Utd 3-0 in the FA Cup Final and then stuffing them in the Champions League Final a few days later (well, they deserved it for being so cocky!).
It will be a while before BORO reaches such heights, but we should savour it all the same. We are the Champions - or something similar.
**AV writes: Cheers, the boy done good. He's the fifth best gymnast in the country in his group and that's official! It was a very high standard with some very high scores and he's at the younger end of the age range so it was a creditable display.
Smog, my posts were 6 hours apart so have a clear conscience, besides with GHW about why bother?
Well done young Vic on his performance, Mum and Dad must be chuffed.
I see Lord Triesman has stuffed up the world cup bid but as Dormo said we won the world 20/20 beteeting the Aussies to boot.
Neil Lennon is hoping to be named Celtic's new manager this week - with Crystal Palace's goalscoring midfielder Darren Ambrose his first signing target say Daily Mirror. If so does that mean end of signing MaManus for Boro? UTB!
Well done to the young un AV. I am a tumbler too but never before 10.30PM.
Ah! Cup Final day...
Cameras on the team bus with Tony Gubba. Jimmy Tarbuck's celebrity bar with household names like Kenny Lynch. Rod Stewart in hot pants in the celebrity game beforehand and "Abide With Me".
These days we don't even see the toin coss as the advertisers squeeze in one more commercial break before kick off.
All before 1992 when football sold its soul.
Smog
When I was out with my beautiful ex-personal assistant for an intimate dinner at her suggestion recently, I was telling her that some posters on here had agreed that they would do multiple posts over the weekend and then step aside to let 'a certain party' claim the prize for 'the magic number'.
Some 'turf accountants' have also reported some unusual patterns of bets being laid too.
Strangely, since she worked for me, the young lady in question seems to have developed some sort of Tourettes - every few minutes she tapped a bulge in her less than usually svelte clothing and shouted 'testing, testing, one two, one two'.
Don't know what the bulge was - I thought she was just pleased to see me and was flattered by the interest she was showing in me.
Or was that that nice young lady with the video camera and the suspiciously deep voice that was so interested in my views on The Bloggies on my last fact finding trip to the Far East.
Where is GHW?
Right here.
**AV writes: Incredible. I have the impression of you stood poised Ninja like for hours by the keyboard waiting. Just waiting. Waiting....
Ha Ha, Nice one John.
Disappointingly though there were some posts of dubious merit. The Dubious post panel is in session and the current result is on hold pending the completion of the investigation.
Sat in the office supposed to be doing my expenses - very dry and boring!
So FA cup final weekend has been and gone, I agree with all the above the days of empty streets are long gone. Personally I popped down the allotment weeded the peas then jumped on the tube with my nephew who was down from Morwich.
We did the tourist thingy, No. 10, Houses of parliament, wandered up to Trafalgar square not a Pompey or Chelsea fan in sight. Went to the pub and had a pint with a couple of Pompey supporters. That was my FA cup final moment!
He's (my nephew) coming back during the World Cup to put up a shed for me, but more importantly we're looking forward to the Boro v Norwich games next season. By which time I suspect Riggot will be gone, Pogi will still be with us. As for McManus and Wheater who knows?
I suspect it will be an exciting closed season with a lot of ins and outs. Maybe not having millions to spend is a good thing, perhaps the Boro's scouts got lazy when there was a shed load of cash to splash, we certainly seem in hindsight to get sucked into that must by foreign mentality. Maybe a shift of emphasis to more British players who are adapted to the British style of football will be a good thing.
**AV writes: Incredible. I have the impression of you stood poised Ninja like for hours by the keyboard waiting. Just waiting. Waiting....
Ah! Grasshopper!
When you can snatch the F5 Key from my hand, then, and only then; you will be ready!
Congrats to AV junior. You must be immensely proud AV.
**AV writes: Oh yes.
Smog
I refer the honourable gentleman to the comment I made earlier.
'order, order' calls speaker Vic, 'the honourable gentleman must be heard'
No matter how many times you pose the question, no matter how many times you cast aspersions on peoples character the answer will always remain the same.
For one last time, there was no link between multiple posts and the 100. I repeat that it is pointless with GHW anywhere near an internet link.
Nice to see Craig Hignett still involved with the kids. His experience at Crewe will stand him and the club in good stead.
As for "Poggi" wanting financial security. If he hasn't got it now after several years on Premiership wages, then I can only imagine his spending habits would put a drunken sailor to shame!
On to Kris Boyd. A ã6m contract over 3 years would seem a bargain if he can solve our pathetic goal scoring record. It may be putting half our eggs in one basket, but better than the addled rotten ones we have now.
Oh, and for goodness sakes Boro, get David Goodwillie signed before someone else steps in!!
Dubious Post Panel Verdict:
Post under Query.
Post 99 from Ian Gill
It is the findings of the committee that this post was not entered for the good of the Blog. It was totally erroneous and made solely for the purpose of Grove Hill Wallah.
It is the finding of the committee that this post is stricken from the record.
Grove Hill Wallah found completely innocent of any wrong doing.
100th Post awarded to Smogonthetyne
The dubious post disciplinary commission therefore finds Ian Gill guilty of bringing the Blog into disrepute. The right and proper punishment will be a 3 post penalty, suspended for 2 months. Any such subsequent malpractice will see the punishment automatically triggered.
No Appeals.
The ruling is final.
Sir Henry Waffle-Tripe
Chairman of the DPP
**AV writes: I sense a legal challenge or two in the offing.
Ian Gill, Smogonthetyne and others ..... maybe it would be an idea to outflank GHW by moving the goalposts ... I suggest making the 106th post on this thread should be the target to aim for ....
Make that the 108th post !!!
And as for Pogatez's reported comments in today's EG, GHw is right. If he hasn't got his financial security for life sorted out by now on the money he's been earning in the Premiership, then he he doesn't deserve any financial security.
I would say get him out asap, clearly money is more of a motivation to him than the burning desire to perform at his highest personal level.
I've seen rumours of Jamie Coppinger and Lee Hughes. Can someone assureme these are not true?
Kung Fu ParmoâÂÅ
AV: In the Untypical Boro temple, there are three kinds of men, Students, disciples, and masters. Development of the mind can be achieved only when the body has been disciplined. To accomplish this ancients have taught us to imitate GodâÂÂs creatures.
This is Robbocop, Master of the White Crane system. From the crane we learn grace and self control. The snake teaches us suppleness and rhythmic endurance. The praying mantis teaches us speed and patience. And from the tiger we learn tenacity and power. And from the dragon, we learn to ride the wind.
Life sustains life. And all living creatures need nourishment. Yet, with wisdom, the body learns to sustain in ways that all may live. And the fire and passion of the winged dragon, there is no discord. Between the supple silence of the snake, and the eagleâÂÂs claws, there is only harmony. As no two elements of nature are in conflict, so when we perceive the ways of nature we remove conflict within ourselves. And discover a harmony of body and mind, in accord with the flow of the universe. It may take half a lifetime to master one system.
AV: [intercepting Mido, who is fleeing the temple after learning he has to face Grove Hill soon] You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
Mido: Watch me! [Tries to run around AV] Come on! How am I supposed to beat Grove Hill? I can't even beat you to the stairs!
AV: You will beat him because you are the Dragon Poster! [pokes Mido in his stomach]
Mido: You don't believe that!
[AV swipes at his hand with Strachan's stick]
Mido: You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me! [AV knocks him to the ground]
AV: Yes! I was! But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine, EP
Mido: You're not my master. And I'm not the Dragon Poster.
AV: Then why didn't you quit? You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed!
Mido: Yeah, I stayed. I stayed because every time you threw a brick at my head or said I was rubbish; it hurt, but it could never hurt more than everyday of my life just being me. I stayed because I thought if anyone can change me, can make me not me, it was you! The greatest Post teacher in all of Boro!
AV: I can change you! I can turn you into the Dragon Poster! And I will!
Mido: Come on! Grove Hill is on his way here right now! And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are *you* gonna change *this* into the Dragon Poster? Huh? How? How? How!
AV: (Sighs) I don't know! But we just canâÂÂt afford any more MercsâÂÅ ..
**AV writes: I haven't seen that one so I can't possibly comment.
I have been appointed by Ian Gill to act on his behalf.
Mr Gill asserts that he has no link with GHW and is as baffled as the rest of the posters as to how he manages to appear with such regularity as the 100 marks approach.
It has been suggested before that there were links between Vic and GHW. In some circles it is rumoured that there is some form of collusion involving Mercedes motor vehicles but we do not wish to put this in the public domain.
We have, therefore, approached a former barrister, the Right Honorable Tony Blair, to seek a legal challenge to the DPP. Mr Blair has a history of success in duping whole swathes of the population and we feel sure that the DPP will be no different. He will reason that WMD (Words of Mass Deception) will be found in the judgement of the DPP.
Mr Gill has no further comment on this matter other than through myself. I will be consulting with several publications to ensure this matter receives the right (cough) amount of public debate.
Hilarious !!
Jack Black with a Grove Hill accent.
"oway, have a word, where's me bamboo shoots, y'know worra mean like !!!
UP THE BORO
AV, wonâÂÂt you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
Grove Hill he has hundreds, all the rest just pretends
Posted hard all my worktime, got no help from my friends,
So AV, wonâÂÂt you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
ThatâÂÂs it!
**AV writes: This whole Merc giveaway has turned into a "Ball and Chain."
Sir Henry is currently out of the office and will be for the rest of the week.
Unfortunately his deputy Lord Percy Chinless-Wonder is also unavailable. However he has left a communiqué stating the following.
⢠Is your fax machine in working order?
⢠Any attempts citing legal precedence and bringing in a know nothing QC will ultimately end in an expensive failure for you
⢠Any Accusations claiming Sir Henry and eminently respected poster Smogonthetyne are in cahoots will be rebuffed in the highest possible manner.
⢠Failure to respect the authority of the office of the DPP and mount a frivolous appeal will incur further sanctions
From the office of Sir Henry Waffle-Tripe
Chairman of the DPP
AV
I take it that you and the Gazette won't be offering any prizes for which of the three La Manga groups Digard will be going into now that he's being returned from Nice?
Right, I'll admit straight away that I'm a sado but this is getting me down.
I was watching the penalty shoot out (Cardiff/Leicester) and that crap dinky penalty got me thinking. I realise it's not likely to happen but what if:
penalty taker strikes the ball, keeper saves and starts to run off to celebrate, the ball in the mean time has spun back and heads towards the goal, the keeper is made aware of what is happening and turns back to attempt to stop the ball.
The penalty taker has also spotted the ball is spinning back, as he is watching it, the keeper barges into him, knocking him over, the penalty taker falls on top of the ball preventing the goal.
What if anything happens next.
Sad aren't I.
**AV writes: I don't think the ref would give a penalty for the "foul" by the keeper because it is not in open play although I suppose he could book him. I'm not sure about the geopgraphy here... where is the ball? If it is close enough to be spinning towards the goal then the kicker must be close to the line and if they keeper has run off celebrating and then has to scamper back maybe the kicker would be considered to be obstructing the shot-stopper and he would be booked. I think it is a fair bet that the losing manager would be going mental whatever the decision.
Is there a referee in the house?
Sir Henry Waffle-Tripe's assistant -
I have sneaked on Ian Gill's computer and noticed that Sir Henry and Smogonthetine (does he have any connection with the Spear and Jackson family fortune by any chance) are refuting any insinuations about collaboration.
Whilst Mr Gill would earnestly deny any suggested link and would merely seek to clear his name there may be some help I can provide.
I would, of, course not let representing both parties at the same time interfere with my impartiality with, of course (cough, cough), suitable puclicity arrangements.
I would also be able to provide a suitable barrister, Ms Cherie Blair. She has a good track record including prosecuting the now dismissed labour government on civil rights issues.
Whilst it could mean the Blairs in court against each other they would be only too happy to act. Hairdressing costs are separate arrangement.
regards Max Clifford.
"Is there a referee in the house?"
Does Umpiring count, AV? If so, I'd eject their sorry butts to the showers in disgrace.
Firstly IâÂÂm delighted to hear how well young Vic performed on the national stage. I guess he must have inherited his motherâÂÂs balance. LetâÂÂs be honest, you must have had more enjoyment watching him in that one competition than you have had watching all BoroâÂÂs best games in the last two years. Maybe the start of something sensational? Hope so.
And as to your Bloggies, how about this:
Player Of The Year: First half â A Johnson, Second Half â B Robson. On balance â Adam Johnson.
Young Player Of The Year: Rhys Williams.
Manager of the Year: âÂÂYouâÂÂre jokinâ arenâÂÂt ye?â (If you mean Boro). Ross CountyâÂÂs Derek Adams followed by Steve McClaren, then Ancelotti.
Signing Of The Season: Barry Robson (by a mile).
Worst Signing Of The Season: Sean St Ledger (by an even bigger mile). Mind you, who authorised MillerâÂÂs purchase? But SSL was the more damaging in terms of goals and points thrown away, and the enormous corrosive effect he had on WheaterâÂÂs performances.
Most Disappointing Player: How long have you got?
Most Anonymous Loan: Caleb Folan
Most Missed Player: Robert Huth
Most Injured Player: the most hotly contested category, eventually won by Digard. HeâÂÂll slip a disc picking even a mythical trophy up. For GodâÂÂs sake donâÂÂt let him shave â thereâÂÂs no accounting for what might happen if he had a sharp blade in close proximity.
Most Memorable Moment: Trophy Virgins banner followed by Willo FloodâÂÂs goal.
Best Goal: Adam Johnson against Scunny.
Best Home Performance: Newcastle (despite only getting a point).
Worst Home Performance: Plymouth. (WeâÂÂd have made Darlo look good). But it is a close fight for the glory.
Best Away Performance: QPR squeezes in front of Sheff Wed.
Worst Away Performance: Too many to name but maybe WBA.
Best Home Atmosphere: Newcastle.
Best Opposition Display: WBA.
Best Opposition Player: Gutierrez at our place followed by Dorrans.
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: The whole season was a kick in the teeth, and IâÂÂll still be back (mug!).
Biggest PR Own Goal: We are undefeated World Champions at this (though Newcastle have recently been showing signs of resurgence with the âÂÂLetâÂÂshaveasillynameforStJamesâÂÂsPark.comâ debacle), but on balance it was the season ticket offer half way through the season with a âÂÂget your money backâ offer if a miracle happened (it didnâÂÂt!).
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: To be in the top three, but at the very least to MAKE A DECENT FIST OF IT. Sometimes even putting a bit of effort in seemed too much to ask.
Best Blog thread: The 500+
Favourite poster: Mosso Cloudfiles. A star in the making.
Oh my God! I had forgotten about Mido! He's still ours.... He's not coming back, is he? Can't we organise some mass public protest to show how strongly we feel about him?
If there was a category of "Biggest mistakes you could have identified a mile off", he's win by a landslide under any voting system. If you were a manager who had generally performed well in the transfer market, his purchase would outweigh a host of successes.
We might as well pile up the club funds in used 500 Euro notes and set fire to them (having first mortgaged all the club's properties to raise as much as we could, to make the pile as high as possible).
More fool us, then!
Due to concerns raised by the authenticity of post 99, the DPP has further doubts as to the veracity of the Bloggies awards. So much so I have had to cut short my junket to inspect the âÂÂTypical Barcaâ blog.
As we still await the official results from Mr Vickers I can assure all interested parties that full review will be undertaken by the DPP.
If any erroneous posts are found then the result may be null and void.
May I also take this opportunity to thank Smogonthetyne for keeping his own counsel. By not appointing a media mouthpiece he has extolled the virtues that this blog should hold dear, truth, accuracy, honesty and a respect for authority.
Sir Henry
Chairman of the DPP
Can't we take all our old Tat to a football style "Flog It". Or some kind of "Cash in the Attic"
The amount of players we have collecting wages without the chance of them playing in the first team is getting embarrassing.
PS: AV rent the Kung Fu Panda DVD and watch it with your kids. It's very funny.
Egyptian Mummy, just lays around collecting dust.
French Porcelain, very fragile.
Dutch Delft, not quite old enough to have any value.
French Filigree lace, very pretty, ornamental use only.
Roll up and grab a bargain!
**AV writes: Local produced "Mr Punch" Toby Jug, once highly collectable. Offers?
Gazette Live shows Uncle Eric has written a piece (no doubt to appear in the paper version of the paper this afternoon) about Digard and Emnes. We paid ã4m for the former and ã3.2m for the latter, and both will be on high wages.
We can't get them off our books if we wish to recoup the transfer fees, yet we can't afford to keep them if it means continuing to pay their wages in full.
So the inevitable result will either be some loan deals which will involve us no doubt paying a share of their wages whilst they play elsewhere (and run down their existing contracts so they will have no resale value at all in due course).
OR we sell them at a knock-down price so that, for the buying club, the combination of the price and the wages can be "juggled" to make it affordable.
Either way, on any analysis these were very bad purchases.
Imagine, for example, if the Transport Manager at Eddie Stobart spent ã4m on one set of Foden tractor units, and another ã3.2m on a set of Volvo tractor units. Imagine that they hadn't been tested yet on UK roads for hauling the sort of loads Stobarts had in mind. But an assumption had been made that they might be good in the future, once the drivers were used to them and once they had been properly configured for the trailers and loads they it was planned they would pull.
But that's not all. In addition to the very large up-front purchase price, it became clear that their running costs were very high. Not the amounts you might expect to pay for units that MIGHT work out OK in the future, but more akin to the prices you would pay for the "Rolls Royces" of the haulage trade: units that could be relied on, day after day and month after month, to pull heavy loads in the worst of conditions without much need for servicing.
But what in fact happened was that the units all failed to start in the damp and the cold, and therefore it was necessary to go back to the battered old workhorses that had been pulling loads at little cost and no fanfare for years, in addition to some cheap unfancied alternatives we got in a firesale by one of the other haulage firms.
Does anyone on here think that the Transport Manager would be congratulated by the board at Stobarts? Wouldn't the odd question be asked? Like: what research did you do, why did you pay over the odds, what made you think this was a sensible investment, why not go for a less risky plan such as buying those (tractor units) with a record of being able to do the job, how now do you suggest we might best get out of this....and why should you be trusted when you advise on the next purchase? Or would he be asked to pick up his coat and P45 on the way out?
**AV writes: So are we doing antique show analogies or Ice Road Truckers?
Sorry about the previous one, and I didn't intend it sound like a rant.
I appreciate the transfer market may be more of an art than a science and it isn't possible to guarantee the success of any purchase. But to be so spectacularly wrong?? Shouldn't that ring alarms bells?
And I didn't even mention Mido this time. As has been said in a different context: "a triumph of hope over experience". Past performance, whilst offering no certainty, is USUALLY an indication of what is likely to happen in the future. Expecting 38 (let alone 40 odd) games of gut-wrenching effort, team-spiritedness and goals from him - which is what you might have hoped for if you paid ã6m and ã40K a week - was hardly predicted by reference to his history, was it?
How many of Hickton's toe nails would it take to amount to greater value?
Sir Henry Waffle-Tripe -
I enjoyed our lunchtime meeting in The Savoy. I am only too happy that you will receive 30% of my fees but as I said at the time I am unable to oblige on hostesses, your current arrangement is far superior to anything we can offer.
Thank you for signing and returning the contract which is now lodged with my solicitor.
Once again may I take this opportunity to thank you for your instruction in this matter. You can count on my discretion in this matter, the last thing we want is for our clients to discover we are in collusion.
yours respectfully
Dormo - you forgot that the Volvo Tractor Unit that he splooged ã3.2m of highly limited funds on was "one for the future", at a time when the existing fleet needed desperate reinforcements...
Such wastefulness would not be tolerated.
Dear Esteemed Poster,
It is my duty as the chair of the Dubious Post Panel to bring you the results of the Exit poll pertaining to the Favourite poster Category.
Early indications show a fierce 3 horse race between, John Powls, Ian Gill and the devilishly handsome Smogonthetyne. However due to earlier indiscretions, Ian Gill will be removed from the race and his nomination for John Powls also deleted.
This leads the DPP to recommend that Smogonthetyne is put forward by Untypical Boro for the inaugural World Championships to be held in Godthab later this year.
Sir Henry
Chairman of the DPP
**AV writes: Well you can't argue with that kind of transparent and impartial example of objective judgement.
Sorry they are late AV, I have been following on a 2 week lag ;)
Player Of The Year: Gary O'Neil
Young Player Of The Year: Jonathan Franks
Manager of the Year: Gordon Strachan
Signing Of The Season: Barry Robson
Worst Signing Of The Season: Lee Miller
Most Disappointing Player: Lee Miler
Most Anonymous Loan: Caleb Folan
Most Missed Player: Robert Huth
Most Injured Player: Matthew Bates
Most Memorable Moment: McDonald goal v Newcastle
Best Goal: Barry Robson v Newcastle
Best Home Performance: Win over Barnsley
Worst Home Performance: West brom mauling
Best Away Performance: Demolition of QPR
Worst Away Performance: Blackpool defeat
Best Home Atmosphere: Newcastle? I only attended Peterborough game.
Best Opposition Display: West Brom at Riverside
Best Opposition Player: Charlie Adam
Biggest Kick In The Teeth: Andy Carroll equaliser
Biggest PR Own Goal: Stockton fans = Sunderland
(Honest) What Did You Expect Back In August: To win the playoffs under Gareth Southgate.
Best Blog thread: Vic Heart Willo, so do I
Favourite poster: halifaxp
Whether you like it or not AV, administration is a tool available to all clubs to start from scratch and rebuild themselves. I would suspect the only thing stopping it, is that usually the people running the club get ditched for new blood.
The situation now with the large debt means it will take several seasons for the club to be in a position to challenge for the Premiership. The Championship and to a lesser extent League 1, are littered with ex PL clubs. Getting through this season without being relegated will be classed as a success, but next season will be an equally hard struggle.
The club have to establish themselves as a successful Championship outfit first before they can even dream of a return to the big boys league.
**AV writes: All the clubs that have opted for administration have been forced down that route because they could not service their debt or pay their creditors, usually either the taxman or other football clubs. It is a mechanism for clubs who face winding up orders from creditors. There is no suggestion whatsoever that Boro are in that position.
Boro's debt is almost entirely in the shape of a £77m mortgage charge to Barclays bank which entirely manageable and is at a reasonably low interest rate and is tied into the rude health of the wider Bulkhaul group which is making decent profits here and abroad. So long as that debt is serviced there is no pressing problem. The only other main creditor is Steve Gibson and/or Bulkhaul who are very unlikely to call in the debt.
I agree with your prognosis for the next few seasons though. We are 18 months away from the bulge in the wage bill working through the system. If we do it ahead of that it will be a huge success for Mogga in reshaping the squad.
I suspect you are still having blog problems judging by where this comment appeared. For the record it was my third attempt.
**AV writes: Yes, a few test posts of mine failed to appear today but the techies say there is nothing wrong and their test posts work. There is no error message and no logic to what gets through and what doesn't. I'm flummoxed.
If anyone has problems, mail it untypicalboro@gmail.com and I'll pick it up there.
**AV writes: "Yes, a few test posts of mine failed to appear today but the techies say there is nothing wrong and their test posts work. There is no error message and no logic to what gets through and what doesn't. I'm flummoxed."
I haven't had problems but this has gone on far too long. Perhaps it's time to rebuilt the IT team or change the supplier.
We are 18 months away from the bulge in their wage bill working through the system. If we do it ahead of that it will be a huge success for AV in reshaping the squad.
Up the Boro!